1 – She sells stallions who don’t deserve to make the sweet horsey love (that was weird, wasn’t it?).  Joker‘s only claim to fame is his “great bloodlines” –which you Paint people will have to tell me whether or not they are, in fact, great.  Either way, I’m one of those crazy people who thinks bloodlines only carry you so far, great or otherwise, and after that you have to earn the right to keep your balls.  Looking at the sale ad, there’s no mention of performance history nor any intention to compete.  Plus, if you watch this guy’s video he’s got a short, thick neck, what looks to be a paddling stride (although some of that could be attributed to the hard, uneven ground they’re working him on), poor shoulder angle (and you can see the resulting limited range of motion in the video, particularly during slow-mo).  There is, however, one mildly redeeming quality: he’s not advertised for stud, only for sale.  Fingers crossed whoever buys him gelds him, and gelds him quick!

2 – You have pictures like this as your facebook profile.

There’s one school of thought that says a person’s facebook page is personal and they are entitled to a personal life and can be silly and still be a responsible, upstanding citizen Monday to Friday, 9-5.  But when your profession is training horses, and you put a picture like this on your facebook page, I feel justified in judging you! Especially because for you to publish a photo like this in a public forum, indicates some sort of pride in it, which, to me, indicates a complete lack of judgment and understanding of what a trainer’s role is and should be.

3.  If you’re a western trainer, shouldn’t you know what a proper rollback is?  That isn’t a rollback – this is (actually, it’s not the best example, strictly speaking, but I like the comments they uploaded with the video as they explain the scoring the rider would receive and why.)

4.  If you keep horses, and offer to board others, you may want to consider removing the downed fencing – because I sure as shit am not going to pay you to potentially injure my horse (he’s accident-prone enough to do that for himself, thank you very much!)

(It’s kind of hard to see, but the downed fence I’m referring to is on the left side, in front of the big tree)

I don’t always feel good for judging and commenting on people (don’t get me wrong, I enjoy it and do have some fun with it), but then I think about all the people who don’t really know about horses who might stumble upon this girl, or someone just like her, and think they’re some sort of magical godsend when they really, really are not.

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It seems the cheesiest ads, for the crappiest horses, especially studs being sold as appropriate kids horses, show children on their backs, often without shoes, always without helmets and obviously with minimal training. For some reason this is supposed to lull the potential buyer into thinking this gaurantees the horse is safe for anyone to ride. I have also noticed the horses in these ads are almost always called “studs,” not stallions, or what they should really be called, “desperately need to be gelded but I’m too cheap to pay for it.”

Stud advertised as not started under saddle, but great with the kids.

All it means is the child is lucky to be alive, at that moment, and might not be the next.

When I was a kid, puttering around at the gymkhanas, you had to be 18-years-old to show a stallion. Period. It didn’t matter if Ol’ Rex had raised three generations of kids on his back (probably three and four at a time), or if the young rider was the next Olympic Champion, if you were under 18 you didn’t ride a stud into the arena.

The logic was simple. Kids spend way too much time screwing around and not paying attention to their horse or the horses around them. Stallions think about sex. It’s what they do.If they’re not thinking about sex, they’re thinking about taking offense at any other horse that bumps them, looks at them,or God help us all, squeals in their direction.

I don’t see how that was a bad idea.

There are great stallions out there. Some are dead quiet, always mannerly, never look at a mare out in public, the list can go on and on. I think it should be one of the prime reasons to let a stallion keep all his parts. But I would never expect a child to be responsible for a stallions behavior. I would never turn a kid loose on one, ever, ever, ever.

“Pally was BORN to ride. He loves to have people on His Back. He is gentle to mares and Has produced Gaited Colts that have either sold fast or found permanent homes with their breeder! Flashy in Show With confirmation Plus! He is NOT Homozygous but throws beautiful colors most often. My grandkids Ride Him around other horses and mares without any trouble. He is a splendid color and has a little saddle blanket on His back! Pally needs to be placed with a family that can share his love for a lifetime!”

I let my daughter ride different studs through the years while growing up. She was always supervised, I always knew the horse and how he was raised and she was well versed in how to handle one. It still made me as nervous as a mama cow watching her calf get dragged to a branding fire. She never showed one or had the responsibility  of a stallion’s primary care.

I’m not afraid of stallions, but I never forget I’m around one. The biggest problem I’ve had with them, is not trying to breed at innappropriate times, it’s been striking, kicking or biting at people or horses. These are horses I’ve had in for training, not one’s I handled from the get go. A properly trained stallion, which starts out with a good temperament,  can be as easy to get along with as any gelding and much easier than a lot of mares I’ve known.

The thing is, there is more to them, and their reactions can be dangerous. If they’ve been mishandled by their owners, through cruelty, spoiling them or just stupidity, then their reactiveness is going to be through the roof.

They can be kind and well mannered, but there is still more out in the world they can react to, and when a stallion reacts he doesn’t tend to go halfway. I don’t want a barefoot, goofy little kid to get stomped because Ol’ Rex took off through the fence after the neighbors smart alecky gelding.

Horses and their riders tend to operate in three different ways. The rider leads and the horse follows, the horse leads and the rider follows, or they work in tandem, still with the rider as the primary influence.

Kids and beginning riders don’t lead, they follow. A good horse for beginners and kids accepts this, takes care of the rider, or at least doesn’t take full advantage of them. A stallion is going to understand he’s in charge and either start doing what he wants, or get frightened and become reactive.

Handsome is a 32 inch red roan pinto stallion. 9 yrs old. Quiet to handle. Broke to
ride. Since he is a stallion, parental supervision is recommended for small
children. Sound. Very good ground manners. Easy keeper. Good in the stall or on
pasture. No bad habits. Has been pastured with mares. Sales are cash only.

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I have gotten too busy to maintain this blog.

This probably won’t come as a big shock to my regular readers; you’ve been patiently waiting longer and longer for blog entries and comments to be approved. I kept trying to scramble my schedule and find time to write, but it just isn’t happening, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. So the blog is for sale. It sells with the domain and the rights to all content written to date, which I suspect could be quite lucrative for someone who knows what they are doing (I don’t, and I’m too busy to find out). It is selling to the public with no restrictions; it may or may not go to someone who wishes to continue doing a blog about this subject matter. If you have any desire to bid on it yourself and have your opportunity for a whole lot of horse people to read your two cents worth, here is the listing.

Will I ever do another blog? Maybe, if my schedule changed a lot. I don’t see that in the foreseeable future. Right now I am at the “can I get in a 45 minute nap before I have to do X” point.

Will I still write elsewhere? Maybe. I just did a piece in the July 2011 Horse Illustrated about planning for your horse’s future if something unexpected happened to you. I do enjoy writing the educational, snark-free stuff…truly I do…and I do welcome offers to do so.

I’ll still Tweet. I seem to do a lot of that from horseback, or while waiting in line, no problem, so I’ll do my best to keep spreading the word about the kind of topics I’ve covered here on FHOTD.

Are there stories I wish I could have gotten to? YES. Oh my God…I have so much piled up in my e-mail. But it just isn’t going to happen. I sincerely apologize for all the unread e-mails in my account and the stories I just didn’t have time to deal with. I know some of them are big stories that should have been covered. Again, one of the reasons I’m quitting is because I know I’m not really doing my job here anymore and I am missing things that should be publicized. That said, there are many other blogs and Facebook pages now that share news to the horse community — many more than existed in 2007 when I started the blog. You guys know how to spread the word when the word needs to be spread — you don’t need a particular blog or particular forum to do it.

Am I retiring in response to some threat? LOL, of course not. You all know my response to threats: I have always said, please feel free to sue me if you believe you have cause. So far, haven’t seen a single complaint. And so far, none of the people who were going to shoot me have found me. Well, either that, or they are not very good shots, because I am sitting here typing this.

Hoover is doing great and will be looking for a home soon, if anyone has the desire to have a VERY snuggly older warmblood who has had a rough life reside with them. I would like to get him out of SoCal…he hates the heat and doesn’t do well in it. He does have some fetlock lameness and he’s not quite fat enough that I’d sit on him yet but my best guess is that he’d be fine for light riding but that is all. Honestly, I’d love for him to have a pet home…he’s been through Hell and he’s so happy to be safe now. Big galoot just lays his big old head in my arms for snuggles…E-mail Katie at Second Chance Ranch if you’re interested in giving Hoover a safe spot for the rest of his life.

The best part about doing the blog, bar none, has been the e-mails from readers thanking me for advice that helped them overcome a training problem or resolve a horse health issue, like a senior horse who needed to gain weight. I absolutely love those. I’m glad I could help. Right up there are the happy endings that I know took place for horses posted here for adoption. Some are in the most fabulous homes!

Here are some of the things I hope you have learned (if you didn’t already know them):

- Old horses are never skinny because they are old. Old horses that are skinny have a problem that can be fixed 99% of the time.
- Slaughter is never the right answer. Slaughter provides a paycheck for irresponsible ownership and irresponsible breeding. Are there more horses than homes right now? You bet. The solution is the same sort of anti-breeding campaign that has worked VERY successfully in dogs and cats. I want to see this chart for horses, don’t you?

- Stallions are never ill-behaved because they are stallions. Stallions are ill-behaved because of a human permitting them to bounce around like an orangutan on crack. Expect gelding behavior from your stallion and you will get it from most stallions, of any breed. If he’s still an idiot, that means he needs to be a gelding. Great stallions are not a threat to everyone in a 20 foot radius when led down the aisle.
- There is no miracle about birth. Mosquitos breed. A thirty year old horse that is still in a great home and receiving excellent care…THAT is a miracle and something to be heartily applauded.
- That sick feeling in your stomach is NEVER wrong. If you feel it about a trainer, barn, etc. – RUN and take your horse(s) with you.
- Breeding animals responsibly isn’t easy. It actually takes a lot of research, knowledge and money. Most people should never breed an animal.
- Horses appreciate having a kind, fair, consistent leader — not a best friend that they can plow over and push around.
- That said, temper tantrums are counterproductive in everything from horse training to the job world. Learn to have self control. Not every impulse needs to convert itself into an action. Walking away is always better than losing it.
- Every time you think “oh, I should fix that, but it’ll be fine for tonight” — it won’t be. This is like a law of nature. Fix it tonight.
- Every time you think that something might be a bad idea, it is probably a bad idea. Remember the gal who tied the lead rope to her waist…
- The reason you have to report abuse or neglect is because horses and other animals can’t type or use the telephone. You are the only chance they have. Take pictures FROM THE ROAD…NEVER trespass. Go down to animal control or the sheriff’s and file a report. Call in a few weeks and follow up. If you fear you are being ignored, and that the situation is urgent, call your local media. Post to horsey message boards and blogs with the numbers to call to demand action. Getting a prosecution is a long, difficult but very rewarding road, especially when you see the horses safe in new homes that do take care of them.
- You cannot tell a rescue is good from their web site or Facebook page. Please support GFAS Accredited Rescues or rescues that you can visit in person (ideally, on a regular basis) and verify are taking proper care of their animals. Also look for a lot of before/after pictures proving the horse improved, as well as the ability to account for the whereabouts of horses adopted out years ago.
- You will not enjoy riding and your horse more from attending clinics or watching videos. You will enjoy riding and your horse more from riding a lot and taking lessons from a good trainer so that riding becomes easier and your ability to communicate with your horse improves. The better you ride, the less equine misbehavior you will experience. If you have fear issues, the #1 most valuable thing you can do to combat them is improve your riding, because that makes scary things happen less often.
- Also, on fear issues, allow me to quote something I read on Facebook and loved: “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes. ~ William Gibson” Stop thinking you’re a shitty rider because your trainer is an insecure asshat who has to yell at and belittle students to make him/herself feel better. GET A NEW TRAINER.
- Turn-out is NOT optional. How well would you perform if you were locked in a shower stall whenever you weren’t at work? All horses need regular turn-out.
- Colic is 99% avoidable with daily turnout, regular rotational deworming (or fecals to determine what is needed), fresh and clean water available 24/7, a low stress environment, sand treatment if you’re in the sandy part of the country, and a consistent diet. If you are having colics frequently, figure out why.
- Proper conditioning is the #1 thing you can do to lower your vet bills and extend your horse’s useful life. When you do not ride all week and then go out on hilly trails for six hours on Saturday, do not come crying to me when your horse pulls a suspensory. That is like you trying to run 20 miles once a week after sitting in your recliner eating Ding Dongs the rest of the time … let’s see you do it. And folks, when your trainer is telling you in a lesson to push your horse past what YOU know your horse’s fitness level is, you have to say no. Ask yourself who will be paying the vet bill…will it be your trainer? Uh, no. So you have to have the guts to say, he’s tired, I want to quit now and cool him out. Even if he’s being bad, do something easy that he can get right, and then quit. There’s no value to making a training “point” that results in a horse that is out of commission for six months!
- It really is true…the vast majority of equine misbehavior results from pain. Before you punish, check for a sore back or neck, lameness, or dental problems. Check saddle fit, make sure the horse hasn’t been crammed into too-small shoes.
- Parents, put a helmet on your child every time they are on a horse. It is a long way down and all it takes is landing wrong to be a quadriplegic. When you are an adult, you can do as you see fit, and assume the risks you see fit, but a 5 year old cannot make those kind of adult choices. While we’re on the topic, stop overmounting your kid…the rest of us are all tired of watching in horror to see if the child will survive the parade on the jiggy horse who looks about to explode, or the hunter round on the horse who is clearly running off, or the barrel run on the horse who is bouncing off the arena walls like the meth head stripper on “Intervention” was bouncing off her room walls.
- No one person has all the answers when it comes to horses. Any of you might come up with an amazing solution to a training or health issue (or diagnose a pesky health issue that the vet couldn’t figure out). Read, read, read, and watch the trainers in your discipline whose horses are both performing well and seem happy (i.e. bright expression, happy ears, fluid movement, a general aura of enthusiasm while performing). I highly recommend The Horse for learning more about horse health. I also highly recommend the Chronicle of the Horse message board as a resource…you’ll find excellent information there.
- Finally, when you are between that proverbial rock and a hard place, and I know those situations happen, euthanasia is (100% of the time) a better solution than the auction. Yes, it will cost a few hundred dollars, so make the call while you still can, after you have made a true good faith effort to place the horse in a checked-out, proper home, but before you are down to your last $50 and your unemployment has run out. The only one who suffers when a horse is euthanized is his owner…he just goes to sleep. I never think of euthanasia as a tragedy. I always think of a horse being shoved onto a double-decker as a tragedy.

Now I have three questions for you guys:

1) What was your favorite blog entry or topic here? For sheer entertainment, I do not think you can beat some of the Parelli stuff I had to comment on. I mean, how can you beat the Parellis telling someone to feed carrots to their biting horse? The only thing that isn’t funny about it is that, for example, a horse showed up in the Enumclaw kill pen a month or two ago that was required to go to slaughter because of how aggressive he was. Well, how do you think he got that way?

2) I also want to know what you think was THE fugliest horse ever posted here. I still say this is the winner:

3) And finally, if you have a horse that you adopted because you saw him/her on this blog, can you give us an update? Extra credit for before/after pictures!

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“2 yr old Polish Arab May-15-09 (cremello) Stallion 15 hand started. Excellent ground manners ~ gentle ~ bomb proof To approved home ONLY $1000″

ONLY! Well, damn, what a deal! Sign me right up! I have always wanted a faux cremello Polish Arabian stallion whose only Arabian characteristic is his ears.

(Psst…Jeff? Since Arabians don’t even come in cremello – not that this horse is one, anyway, he’s probably a buttermilk buckskin but it’s hard to tell with the winter hair on – do you suppose he might not really be purebred? I mean, that and the fact that he LOOKS LIKE A DAMN LOW-END QH EXCEPT FOR THE EARS?)

And strangely, he is $1000 today but two weeks ago, he was free. Witness the previous ad:

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Date: 2011-01-16, 6:42PM PST
Reply to: see below

6 yr old Golden Palomino Stallion 15 hand very gentle started, but green (kid safe) FREE to approved home ONLY

21 yr old Appaloosa mare 15.1 hands extensively trained in Western & English very sound & bomb proof (registered) FREE to approved home ONLY

12 yr old Egyptian Arab mare 15 hands gaited, extensive training ~ very intelligent FREE to approved home ONLY

5 yr old Polish Arab gelding (bay roan) ridden once but green ~ excellent ground manners ~ very attentive FREE to approved home ONLY

2 yr old Polish Arab (cremello) Stallion 15 hand started. Excellent ground manners ~ gentle ~ bomb proof FREE to approved home ONLY

22 yr old Golden Palomino mare 15.1 hand bomb proof ~ extensive training (retired gaming horse) registered ~ loves children FREE to approved home ONLY

3 yr old Overo Quarter Horse mare 14.3 hand double registered (double blue eyes) very gentle bomb proof, ridden 4 times, started needs finishing, loves children, VERY playful $500 O.B.O.

10 yr old American Saddle Bred gelding 16.1 hands extremely gaited (gentleman) bomb proof ~ was a rescue, don’t know extent of training FREE to approved home ONLY

These horses are FREE to approved homes ONLY – NO NEED TO CALL MEAT MAN

Call Jeff 360-204-2024

I will leave you all to wonder how a 2 year old that has just been started can be “bomb proof.” But hey, for those of you who complain that you want to see a Fugly Horse of the Day, there’s your winner! Now for God’s sake, geld that critter before it makes more fugly little fat-necked, triangle-headed yaklets!

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