Posts Tagged ‘Craigslist crap’
Oh the questions that CL brings up!
What, pray tell, is “yellow broke”?
“Arabian horse for sale, yellow broken, friendly and very energetic!”
http://fortcollins.craigslist.org/grd/2971987105.html
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How is tying a 10 month old horse onto a childs jungle gym, with a child atop it, considered good marketing? Is the jungle gym a part of the sale? Is the pony a fixture of the jungle gym?
“Father was quarter/paint and mother was a pony. Very good with kids until are mares came in heat”
http://flint.craigslist.org/grd/2963280163.html
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How underweight does the poor horse have to be before you’ll give her a break and NOT ride her?
“Good husband horse or child’s horse. About 14.2 hands. Good with other horses. Will do partial trade for good horse hay. Was very underweight when I bought her as you can tell in the photo where she is being ridden. She has put on weight but still needs a bit more.”
http://louisville.craigslist.org/grd/2922371125.html
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Oh craigslisters, where you come up with these ideas and terms must be a special, special place. Is it like Walmart? Are there different aisles with ideas for you? The crazier it is, the more expensive? Shopping for these items must be taxing – not only on your wallets but your time and brain cells. Presumably that’s why you can’t afford to feed your horses or have the brainpower to know that tying a 10 month old pony onto a jungle gym (not just tying it to the jungle gym, but actually so that the pony is on it) is bad. Very bad. And putting a helmetless child onto that pony? All I can say is that I hope you have excellent health insurance!
I swear, one of these days I’m going to write a “Horse Sales Ads for Dummies” book – a comprehensive guide on what to include in your ad when selling a horse. Now, there aren’t any hard nor fast rules regarding length, but you might want to consider more than one sentence. It is, after all, an immense quadriped we’re talking about here, not a used blender.
A lot of people send in craigslist (and other) ads every day – what are some of the ah-mazing things you’ve seen? Comment with your favorite things that made you go “huh” 
ps. Could the shanks on the underfed TWH’s bit have been any longer?! Watch out people! She might run away 5 steps! -because any further would use up the last tiny bit of her fat stores.
Stop. Just F*#$(ng Stop.
“7 year old bay broodmare(Has Pappers) – $200 – I have a bay broodmare for sale. Her name is Chinowa. I bought her for $250 for a riding horse but I rode her and a month later I found out she was lame. If I do not ride her then she is not lame but if I ride her then she is lame in bolth frount feet. She is good size and well taken care for. She can live in any invierment. She is papperd and healthy. She would make a great foal. She is QHPA. It hurts me so much and I love her but I cant afford to keep a horse I cant ride. If she is not sold by April 7th then she will be put down. Please save her I cant see a good horse like her go to wast. You can trailer or I can. If I trailer then there will be a cost of gas.”
Stop telling us that your horse is going to be put down unless someone with an actual beating heart comes and buys her from you. No one’s making you do that shit and it is not a valid fucking marketing ploy. People like this make me so goddamned angry! As soon as this poor mare is sold, or shot, this person is going to go out and buy another one that she can ride! “I cant afford to keep a horse I cant ride” -see? So if the mare is rideable then she’s worth something to you. Super.
How much do you want to bet that this person hasn’t even had a vet out to try to figure out why the mare goes lame under saddle? Or maybe even a farrier?
Just how is it that she “rode her and a month later I found out she was lame”. It took her a month to figure out that wasn’t the horse’s natural gait? Maybe she thought she was pacing or some such bullshit? Sweetheart, if you ride a horse for a month and then it comes up lame, you need to get a vet out and determine what’s causing it. If you’re going to own a horse you have to be willing to properly care for it. Not just shoot them at the first sign of trouble.
Tell me, what is it about this fugly little mare that would make “a great foal”? Name one thing about her that recommends her for breeding. I dares ya! She’s apparently a “good size” – what exactly defines a “good size”? I tend to lean towards the 17hh-ers but I’m one of the few who define that as a “good size”. The mare’s also apparently “well taken care for” – umm, given the little information provided in the above ad, I tend to doubt that! “She is pappered and healthy” I haven’t the foggiest what “pappered” is (ok, that’s a lie, I’m sure she meant “papered”) but this mare sure as shit isn’t healthy! SHE’S LAME! That’s not healthy! I also tend to doubt that the writer of the ad would know what a “healthy” horse was even if it bit her on the ass (and at some point I sincerely hope some horse does!). I’m assuming by QHPA, the seller meant AQHA, perhaps the “P” stood for “pappered” in her mind?
“Please save her I cant see a good horse like her go to wast.” Oh sure you can. YOU’RE THE ONE “WAST”-ING HER! You’re doing this to her. You’re the one who has put an expiry date on her, not anyone else. It’s not up to the rest of the population to save her, she’s your responsibility.
And do us all a favor, learn to spell! GOOD GAWD I wanted to claw my eyes out!
Why idiots shouldn’t own horses
Three year old paint not broke wild stud .This one has all his oats .The meek need not inquire .Raised this colt from birth will let you pet him and feed him thats about it .Cant get any more honest.Needs EVERYTHING.$100.00 CASH ONLY .SERIOUS INQIURES BY EMAIL THANK YOU PRICE IS FIRM.
It’s idiots like this guy (Yes, I’m making what some may call an “assumption”, that the seller is male. I, however, prefer to think of it as a logical deduction based upon past experience of reading lots and lots and lots of craigslist ads!) who create problem horses and then dump them. To clarify, for anyone out there who’s thinking of getting into breeding: “raising” a horse involves putting more training into the horse than just petting and feeding. (Please read the following as if in a loud, fake, stage whisper) Psst! Neither of those require any training or effort. Your horse is likely feral because you put so very little time or effort into him. From the rest of the horse-world: thanks a ton, you giant douchebag.
It’s sad because this little guy looks like he may be cute. That is to say there’s no overt fugliness; no weiner-dog-esque back, his hind legs don’t appear to be camped under… aaand that’s all we can guess at based on the photos. But, considering what typically passes as a “suitable” stud on craigslist, this guy is a freaking GQ model! *facepalm*
I guess the one good thing you could say about this ad is that the writer freely admits the horse “needs everything”. He actually acknowledges that the horse needs work – perhaps somewhere in his subconscious, deep down, buried under sports stats and fond Playboy memories, he knows he didn’t do right by this horse.
Craigslist Reality Check = WIN!
I couldn’t sleep tonight and wound up browsing the ever-horrifying Craigslist Farm & Garden section, where I found this extremely appropriate response to solicitation for some sort of colored stallion. (I didn’t find the original ad).
Happy news from Shiloh Horse Rescue – Cricket, the little Morab mare I featured last week, has already found a home. Hooray for Cricket! Now, here is Lucero, a filly that I can see being a great project for someone who is ready to start their first horse from scratch. She’s only two, so of course I would prefer (and I’m sure Shiloh agrees) that she get another year to mature before any under-saddle work, but she is sensible and quiet and should be a great training project for a 4-H or Pony Club teen.
Mrs. Pepin, you should have been a Fugly blog reader…
Yes, just another example where a lady who had two unrideable horses got scammed out of them by a shady dealer named Sandy Boudreau, aka Amy Adams, of Raven Rock Farm. Check out Ms. Boudreau’s pic – doesn’t she look like a nice lady? That is why you can’t go by what people look like when deciding whether to trust them with their horses. You, too, can be fooled. Ms. Boudreau seems to think she has done nothing wrong here but let’s start with, why do you even USE an alias if you are such an above-board, honest individual? Bullshit. I don’t walk around using aliases, and neither do any of you, do you, dear readers? You know who uses a fake name? People in the witness protection program … and criminals. I think it is a safe bet that Ms. Boudreau is not in the witness protection program, don’t you?
However, while I think it’s horrible that Boudreau didn’t say the following words to Mrs. Pepin BEFORE taking the horses on false pretenses, I am glad she said them in the newspaper for all to see:
“Ms. Boudreau said once the horse has been given to her, the owners can’t expect any more from her after that.
“First of all, I don’t want to be bothered,†she said. “I don’t want people hounding me over something where I am basically making no money. Why bother? If they sent the horse to rescue, they wouldn’t tell them that information, so why should I? So they can go and hound somebody else? Once they gave up the horse, they gave up the horse. If they didn’t want to do that, they shouldn’t have gone onto a public site to give it up. Not one person asked to see my farm or checked me out. They could have given it to Joe Blow or anybody else and they would be hounding that person. They never should have given their horses away if they felt so strongly. They should have kept them until they die or let them spend the money to put the horse down.â€
Yeah, she sounds like a bitch but she’s not wrong. Euthanasia would have been a lot kinder than what I am sure happened to those horses. Mrs. Pepin should have checked things out. She should have gotten a written contract. But like most people, she wanted to believe in a happy ending – no matter how unrealistic the odds were of that happy ending. Now she will feel guilty the rest of her life.
It’s not worth it. Look, no one enjoys holding the horse while the vet gives the shot, but even if you can’t do that, even if you walk away and let the vet handled it, you’re being so much kinder than letting the horse go out there to any fate at all. Giving your horse away free on Craigslist? You might as well open the pasture gate and let him run out.
It should not be news to you, as an adult, that people like Ms. Boudreau exist — YOU are what’s standing between your horse and that fate. Only you. Don’t drop the ball.
P.S. If you do not want to be hounded, I recommend NOT lying to people in order to pick up their free horses from Craigslist. Because it is amazing how often those stories make it into the media, whether that’s the newspaper or the Fugly blog. 
Just a helpful tip – don’t DO this crap and you won’t get “hounded” by the 99.9% of Americans who think you DID do something wrong here! And those of you who buy hunter/jumpers on the East coast, as always…vote with your wallets.
