Guest Post: Proper Equine Etiquette for Selling a Horse
Feb 29 2012
A follow up to last week’s guest post:
So it seems my last etiquette post got a lot of rider’s panties in a twist which quite frankly had me giggling quite a bit. So I thought it would be most appropriate to do proper etiquette for the seller since a lot of you felt my post was one sided.
For the record, I DO NOT condone disrespectful behavior from anyone and I have a zero tolerance policy for it. If you can’t get back to your roots and live your life with dignity and respect for others then go find a hole to crawl into because your negative attitude is only contributing to the problem not helping it!!
With that being said, as there is proper etiquette for buying a horse there is proper etiquette for selling a horse too!
First and foremost, BE HONEST ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE SELLING!!!! Don’t advertise a bomb proof pony for my kid and I come to find out he’s deathly afraid of leafs blowing in the wind. There’s nothing wrong with being honest about the horse you’re selling. If you have a quiet horse with quirks, mention that! I used to ride an Appaloosa that I liked to call “My Little Circus Pony” who was dead quiet no matter where or what we did. Then one day we got out into the cross country field and that day he thought it would be funny to bunny hop all the way up the field. I was laughing so hard I almost peed my pants and fell off. Despite how humorous it was, when it came time to put him up for sale we made sure everyone knew he had quirks!
Be prepared! Have everything ready for the buyer to see. It’s all fine and dandy for you to tell me the horse has clean legs and he’s been vetted recently but I’m sorry, you’re word isn’t quite good enough for me and I want to see proof, with dates on it! I had a girl try to give me a horse that she swore up and down was sound but he pretended to act lame. Well I’m no dummy considering this was the same girl who told me two days before her proposal that she likes to call up sellers to “try out” their horses just to see what a Grand Prix level horse feels like. *sigh* The horse was 4 legged lame and made a great pasture ornament but was not sound enough to do anything other than that.
Be on time! There’s nothing worse than a seller calling me while I’m waiting at their farm saying, “Oh I’m so sorry I had to run out for a bit, I’ll be there shortly!” I’m sorry, I made an appointment at a specific time; you expect me to be on time and I expect the same from you. Now, I know I can be harsh on the time thing but that’s my military background kicking in and while in the Army on time was 15 minutes before the time given and late was showing up on the time given, most people don’t live in that world. So yeah, I might suck it up to a degree but it all comes back to respect. I respected your time, now you need to respect mine!
Communicate with the buyer and determine their needs! Do they want your horse tacked up and ready to be shown when they get there or do they want to see the whole shebang? Find out exactly what the buyer is looking for and determine if you have what they want. Stop thinking about making a quick buck and use your head to find your horse the perfect home with the perfect rider. There’s a horse out there for every equine lover and it’s your job to read your riders and see what may or may not work with your horse. Once you’ve determined their needs make sure you’re prepared to meet those needs and exceed their standards. There’s nothing more irritating than a half ass unprepared seller!!
Be negotiable! If your horse is for sale for $10K but the rider who came out to look at him made that perfect connection and you knew the very moment she got on his back they were made for each other; be flexible on helping your horse get into the perfect hands! So the rider may not have the whole $10k, maybe she has $8K or is willing to negotiate a lease to own kind of deal and the horse doesn’t leave your farm till he’s been paid in full. It’s always good to be flexible. It puts you in a good light with a more positive outcome with your buyer. Then that buyer will tell all her horsey friends how awesome you were and by word of mouth you’ll start to get more business.
For those who refuse to send a horse out on trial, I feel ya. I have seen too many sale horses come back super jacked up from being out on trial because the girl who you thought was riding your horse let everyone else in town ride him too. Consider this instead, let the buyer do a partial lease on the horse on your farm and the money used to lease him can go towards his final sale price. Or offer lessons on him once a week and an additional ride on him with their trainer once a week for a fee. All the money used towards this horse can go towards his sale price and if it doesn’t work out then your time wasn’t wasted and you got some money for it.
So to sum it all up again, proper etiquette is just as important when selling a horse as it is when buying a horse. Be prepared, be honest and be communicative. And most of all exceed the expectations set for you! It’s a small horse world and your name will travel fast as “the seller who low balls ya and tries to sell you something they don’t have.” Be classy not trashy!
It’s been another informative lesson from RLTW!
Oh and for those of you who are wondering where this etiquette background came from. It was many forced summers spent in finishing schools in Southern Georgia! Where being and acting like a proper lady was just as important as being and acting like a proper gentleman! LONG LIVE PROPER ETIQUETTE!!! 
Today’s guest post brought to you by long time Fugly reader, Ride_Like_The_Wind!
46 comments to “Guest Post: Proper Equine Etiquette for Selling a Horse”
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I agree totally with this. Years ago when I was looking for a second horse I had very specific criteria. I wanted a large draft that was an easy walk/trot ride. A husbandy type of horse to put my friends on that would just plod along nice and easy, bombproof as they go. I looked at over 14 different horses around Massachusetts and New Hampshire and not one was actually as advertized. The takers of the cake however had to be the 7 year old belgian that ‘rode’ and ‘drove’ but it wasn’t until after I met him, rode, got thrown ect that I was told he’d only been ridden bareback a few times and that he’d only been driven double.. (Note: Spook wasn’t his fault, it was the big scary oil truck that blew by and honked the horn on the way by. I guess the driver knew the family. Cinch popped right off, my poor old western saddle, and it came off with me, landing me face first into the roundpen. )
I actually wrote a response post to your first guest blog, but I applied it to just finding a horse to ride rather than buy: “Suitability: Overhorsing”. I agreed with a lot of your points and I too am an etiquette fiend–do you read Etiquette Hell?
No, I have not heard of Ettiquette Hell. I will have to start reading it!!
I’m glad to see another person who feels there is still etiquette in this world!!!
Great post. I have a related question about trailering. If a person sells a horse, should he/she be responsible for hauling the horse to its new home? Should the buyer compensate for the hauling, or should it be included in the sale price? How rude would it be for the seller to tell the buyer to find their own ride? Or better yet, what if the seller told the buyer his/her trailer was too unsafe/old/small for the horse to be hauled safely?
I’ve had two terrible incidents selling horses that couldn’t be hauled in the buyers’ trailers. One was a mare that was a freak to begin with. The people show up with a tiny, old (from the 60s??), dark trailer that is painted black both inside and out. I wouldn’t expect a dog to go in that trailer. Of course the horse wouldn’t go anywhere near it. The people told me they’d be back the next day with a different trailer and have their vet sedate the horse if necessary. Of course they didn’t show. They called later to tell me I had lied about the horse and wanted their money back. I agreed to refund their money, but two days later went to the barn and they horse was not there. Not sure how they had picked her up, but I never heard from them again. Second horse would only load in a slant load. Buyers show up with a straight load that the horse wouldn’t go near. Buyer wanted me to deliver the mare (150 miles away over a mountain pass during the winter). A week goes by and the horse is still under my care. Just to close the deal, I spent an entire day hauling the horse for free and hope I never have to deal with something like that again.
To me is it crazy that people have great references, pay a gazillion dollar a year for a trainer, have a perfect boarding facility lined up, and then show up with a broken down 40 year old trailer that looks like they dug it out of someone’s back yard the night before.
Great question. I feel those details would need to be worked out in the buyers agreement. If the buyer wants their horse shipped to them then it should be expected that the buyer would pay for the shipping cost. I don’t know how much gas is in your area but its $3.75 for regular and $4.15 for diesel in mine. So if I were the seller I would make sure there is an agreement with the buyer that there would be a shipping fee if they didn’t want to trailer him to his new home.
Now if a buyer showed up with a trailer that looked unsafe I would haul the horse for them for a small fee. Since they did try to make an effort to haul the horse themselves but I couldn’t bare to watch my hard work load into an unsafe trailer and possibly not make it home.
I’m sorry to hear about the couple that stole your horse and your money. I hope you were able to track them down and the authorities took care of it! Kudos to you though to drive 150 miles through a snowy mountain to deliver a horse free of charge. I am not snow friendly and I would have waited till the snow was gone! lol.
I hadn’t refunded the money to the people yet, and they just came to the barn when I was at work and took her, never called me or anything. The barn owner was really pissed that they came on the property without permission. She literally flipped out and took all my tack, feed, etc out of the barn and locked it in her house. I had to call the police to get my stuff back, but that is a story for a different day.
Nope, I’m right with you. In this day and age, there is no reason to have a nightmare trailer. If you can’t afford a pretty aluminum slant load, you darn well aught to be able to afford a nice 12 foot stock trailer. If you can’t afford that, then frankly you can’t afford a horse. Yes, I know, some boarders borrow trailers or pay to have their horse hauled to a show or trail ride. That’s fine. The point is, when I’m trying to sell my nice quality horse and someone says, “Can you deliver? I don’t own a trailer or a truck,” I instantly get a picture of where my beloved horse may be going, and it usually isn’t a pretty mental picture.
I have to disagree with that, for the simple reason that this may be their first horse. Until you own a horse, you don’t usually own a trailer. I didn’t get a trailer until we had owned our first two horses for a few months, because our vet always did house calls if we needed her and if I ever DESPERATELY needed a trailer for some reason, we had friends with trailers or we could hire a trailer.
With regards to the original question of should the buyer deliver: Personally I like to deliver any horses I sell. It gives me a chance to have a good look around and make sure that the home they are going to is up to standard. For instance, in my ads I say something like “To approved home only. Not to be kept in barbed wire and I would like first offer if he/she is sold again.” Dropping the horse off gives me a chance to make sure everything is as they said it would be.
That said, I would not expect a seller to go out of their way to deliver me a horse, especially free of charge.
http://www.operationhorserescue.blogspot.com
“if I ever DESPERATELY needed a trailer for some reason, we had friends with trailers or we could hire a trailer. ”
We don’t disagree. My point is, when you brought your horses home, you had access to a trailer. You were prepared to borrow or rent one, if need be. When I see either of the following, the big red flags and loud alarm bells go off in my head (I’m mental, so I get both flags and bells).
1. An advertisement from someone who wants a ‘cheap’ 2 horse trailer, for $500 or less. These are the people who buy brand new $100 saddles off Ebay, and think they got a deal (and then put them on the poor horse they bought). They also buy cheap hay, and take one look at the cost of grain and decide to feed it sparingly.
2. A buyer who can’t figure out a way to haul a horse home safely. Yes yes, I know, new people have to learn, but I’d rather they didn’t learn on MY horses. These are always the people who also can’t figure out how to saddle properly, how to ride properly, and why it is important to actually lock up grain, instead of leaving the bags open on the ground in the barn aisle. You already said it– if you truly needed to haul, you knew how to find a safe trailer.
My mistake. I thought you meant that anyone who didn’t OWN a trailer would not have a good home for a horse. I see what you mean now.
http://www.operationhorserescue.blogspot.com
I’ve sold horses over the years and each situation was different. Sometimes I hauled (paid asking price, no questions) and others were picked up. I think each case is different and I would surely haul a horse that I’m selling to avoid a bad ride in a 6′ x 6′ box with extra air flow through rust holes.
That said, I’ve never sold a horse that wouldn’t load well in any type of trailer. Selling a horse with a loading problem to someone with less experience than you have is a disaster waiting to happen. I think of that poor bay mare featured here by Cathy a few years back that was beaten nearly to death trying to load her. I can’t say I’ve never lost my cool trying to load a reluctant horse but I know now that it’s something that needs to be worked on until it is fixed. And not when you have 10 minutes to get it done. Act like you have 10 minutes and it’ll take all day – act like you have all day and it takes 10 minutes. I’d personally be embarrassed to sell a horse that wouldn’t load right up. If I have a severe injury I want to be sure I can get the horse to a clinic if need be. My trailer stays cleared of snow all winter for that reason and every horse in my barn will load. I made a wooden bridge (cost about $25) that I send non-loaders over back and forth until they get used to the sound which also teaches them to follow my hand as a forward cue. I use the same cue at the trailer to get them closer then on and they don’t panic over the sound as it’s familiar to the banging on the bridge.
Not everyone can afford or has the use for trailer ownership which I understand. Most boarding facilities try to help out their boarders and will haul for a reasonable fee but a seller can do the same and also confirm that their horse is going to a suitable facility. To me it’s worth the $50 worth of diesel.
HaHa, that is a funny one. ALL of my horses do load in trailers. However, my trailers are not tiny dark death traps, therefore I have never taught them to get in one, nor would I expect them too. They also cross bridges, water, and all kinds of other “spooky” stuff. The problem is not my horse, it is the trailer.
The first trailer the people came with couldn’t have even been 6 feet tall inside. I’m barely over 5 feet and my head almost touched the ceiling in spots. Maybe it was meant for pigs or goats, but I can’t see any normal size horse going in there.
Furthermore, you can rent a nice, roomy slant load trailer in this area for $60 a day. There is no reason to put a horse in danger buy making it ride in something that isn’t safe.
I would never have occurred to me that transportation was anything but the buyer’s issue. Maybe the seller can include that as a bonus, but that’s what it would be – like throwing in a blanket or a saddle or something with the horse (sometimes sellers do that too). Unless otherwise agreed, I’d say it’s the buyer’s responsibility. Just like buying something at the store – it’s your responsibility to carry it home/pay for deliver/whatever unless the store happens to offer free delivery.
Once the check clears and the contract has been signed the horse is the responsibility of the buyer. Therefore, it is the buyer’s responsibility to arrange and pay for trailering, unless the buyer and seller have specifically negotiated a different arrangement.
I did let a horse go out on trial once and it worked out ok. My trainer knew another trainer who had a student that was interested in my horse, but they wanted to try him at their place first. My trainer assured me that the other was very ethical and wouldn’t do anything to hurt/harm the horse. The horse was going to be used as a pleasure/lower level show horse.. so there was no need for them to put him through paces like 5 foot jumps lol. I also refused a lot of trials on other horses I sold because I didn’t know the people and honestly did not want to miss a potential sale while the other folks were having a free horse for two weeks!
Honesty in the seller is the most important thing.. I want to know what the horse has done, not what you think they “might” be able to do..lol
I agree, I can’t stand reading “Dressage Prospect” or “Potential Upper level Eventer.” Their parents may have done one thing but their heart might be into another. I’ve been on some “dressage prospects” and the horse refused to go on the bit, hated the ring and never listened to your leg. The same horse wasn’t fit for jumping cause his conformation wasn’t built for it and couldn’t be a fox hunter cause he kicked the hounds. So the seller thought since he can’t do anything in the event, hunter, jumper, fox hunting world lets try dressage. Needless to say this horse ended being bought as a very expensive trail horse.
When my trainer sold horses, she always made them pay up front and get a 30 day guarentee/trail. So this way even if they didn’t return the horse, she still had the money. I would do the same thing. If people are just given a free trial , unless you know the person, they may just disappear. I can’t tell you how many ads on CL I’ve seen for people looking for their horses with leases gone bad. Make the person pay and if they are truely unhappy with the horse or the horse isn’t what they really wanted than they can return the horse, in the same condition or face a deduction in the money paid, and get their money back.
Once upon a time, I was a very naive buyer and lucked out with a honest, caring seller. If I had not been so fortunate, I doubt I would be into horses today. The seller knew we were very green and needed help. She sold us two Arabians that ended up being the loves of my life. She followed up with us and was there when I had difficulties to help us through them, even taking one of the horses back for a tack change tune up. In 25 years, I have only sold one horse and I was an emotional mess and very honest. The POA liked to buck. My daughter didn’t like to be bucked off. The 13 year old that bought him loved the bucking and I was glad he did it in the trial ride. I too gave them a trial period and we talked a lot during that time. They loved that pony and it was a perfect match, thank goodness.
The best horse I ever bought was a Tennessee Walker. My daughter and I had very specific criteria, so it took almost a year to find the right horse. This one was over 2 hours away, so I booked two viewings that same day and had serious doubts about the horse as the owner had a “funny accent” and seemed shady. I couldn’t have been more wrong and he was exactly what we were looking for. I specificly said, we don’t want an arena only horse and needed to ride on trails and see him trailered, so he popped him in a trailer and we went off to a state park for a ride. It was a great experience. We went down to pick him up 3 days later and still have the 26 year old in our barn, not a day different from the day we test rode him.
Nowadays, so many misunderstandings between buyers and sellers can be resolved with a little homework. I found emails to work better as I could be very specific with my questions and make them answer a statement instead of a “yes” and “no”. I really avoided a lot of running around this way and had no issues. Maybe the midwest is just more honest, I don’t know, but by doing my home work, I pretty much found the horse I expected when I got there.
I’ve got to second the statement about email working better, at least initially. It’s too easy for me to forget to ask certain questions (even with notes) or for the seller to go off track when I am interacting over the phone. I much prefer to compose a well written, thought out email that avoids simple “yes” and “no” responses. In addition, I can gauge the attentiveness of the seller. Did they, in turn, write a well written response, or did they shoot back a sloppy reply that clearly avoided my questions? I’ve actually purchased a horse exclusively through email, sight unseen. A bit unconventional, I’ll admit, but I did my research on the seller, and I ended up winning the horse lottery, so to speak.
It’s sooo important to do your homework and do like you did with the Walker….trailered AND trail rode him. You had specifications and tested the horse in the aspects that were non-negotiable to you.
But – BUYER BEWARE. I won’t go into details but I know a horse listed for sale at the moment that is completely misrepresented by the seller and the horse is dangerous. When I read the ad, all I could say is are you fucking kidding me? Do you want to get someone killed because you’re dillusional and desperately in need of prozac? I’ve discussed this with others familiar with the situation and we wonder, if someone does get seriously hurt or killed by the horse, what is the responsibility of the seller? Is he/she legally liable for any injuries if the behaviors aren’t clearly identified prior to the horse changing hands? With spring around the corner, buyers will be hitting the barns looking for that perfect mount. Don’t go in with blinders on. Do your homework. Watch the owner handle the horse initially and then handle the horse yourself. Test all the buttons you intend to use. If you’re a newbie, bring a trusted friend or pay a trainer to evaluate the horse for you. Evaluate the situation, why is the horse being sold? If the owner makes endless excuses for the horse, run like hell!!!!
We had a horse like that. Perfectly fine until she went into heat and turned into psyco bitch (she would intentionally buck off her rider to attack other horses and other stupid shit like that, but only when she was in heat). My trainer didn’t believe in drugs but of course the bleeding hearts heard we were going to have her put down and my trainer allowed them to buy her, but only with a bill of sale that stated what she does. Everything to even when she sneezed wrong. This way she couldn’t be sued, because well everything was on paper so the person couldn’t be like, ‘I didn’t know!’. Yeah you do know. A seller can be held responsible and the buyer can sue, if the buyer can prove that the horse was misrepresented and or drugged. Because chances are they will drug the horse and make the horse not as psycotic. That is why one must put every tiny little detail of what the horse does in the bill of sale. Like the chronic bucker. Especially know when everyone has the disease ‘Sue happy’. Sad, sad country where everyone has to sue everyone for tiny little things, instead of big things, like a misrepresentation of a horse.
Horse-lovin’ lawyer speaking: the legalities of misrepresentation in a horse sale are not black and white. There is a lot of grey area between the classic “buyer beware” and a full-on case of misrepresentation. Also, consumer protection laws are different state to state, province to province, and may or may not apply accordingly. However, the great thing is that the best way to stay out of a lawsuit, whether you are a buyer or a seller, is basically just being a good buyer or seller, as discussed in these posts. If you are a seller, be honest, don’t hide the horse’s shortcomings, answer questions fully. If you are a buyer, ask lots of questions, inform the seller of your intended use of the horse (seller can’t really be blamed for selling you a horse that isn’t good on trails, for example, if you only talk about dressage and never once mention that you plan to trail ride), and get your own vet check. These are all things that help to find the best possible horse/owner match anyway, but they will also help avoid legal issues later.
Thank you for your input Chestnutmare. This isn’t even a situation where the riding style of the horse is an issue. The horse is dangerous on the ground and actually super quiet under tack. The behavior is deeply ingrained and goes back to weanling age. This horse will go after people with teeth, hoof and body and should only be owned by a professional. It just amazes me that people can be so deep in denial to the point of potentially causing injury to an innocent person.
Sad thing is when a person who can’t get out of a paper bag does something ridiculous with a horse and then blames the seller. Like gee, I thought the horsie would like the balloons I was carrying around for his birthday and he ran away and I fell off and broke my leg. Then on the flip side there are people who will do anything to make a buck!
I just want to say first RLTW that my comment about your last article was not intended to bully you in the least. You expressed your opinion and I expressed mine. I believe bullying is quite different.
I’m not sure I’m really with you on this topic at all. But each to their own. When buying/adopting a horse there is always a process of due diligence. I just assume sellers are going to lie because honestly over the three or four decades that I have owned and trained I have only ever encountered one seller that was actually honest. People will out right lie, people are ignorant, and people sometimes see their own horses through rose colored glasses.
I think that when it comes to buying a horse, I personally would not want a seller to prepare the horse at all. I want to see the horse hanging with their friends in the field when I go to look. The more prepared the horse is, the more suspicious I am. I also want to see the horse a few times before I buy and this is especially important if the horse costs a lot of money. Horses with big price tags are not necessarily worth what the seller wants.
I think that the best thing the seller can do is to feed and care for the horse well. If the horse has training then make sure the training is done well or don’t bother. Too many horses with bad/rushed/abusive training and frankly it just makes it harder to teach them anything new or anything at all.
I’ll add one more– don’t just be on time, be READY to show the horse. If you are selling a riding horse, the darn thing better have a saddle sitting outside its stall, and be cleaned up ready to ride. If it’s a prospective show horse, it better look like a show horse. If you think your horse is going to be perfect for me, then I expect you to give me some serious bonding time with the horse.
I once went to look at a trail horse that was clearly too much for its owners. I showed up there, they got the grain bucket, enticed her out of a pen that was knee deep in muck, stood there with a halter on her, and when I said, “So do you have a saddle?” they said, “Oh.. you want to ride her?” Well….. yea. I wasn’t really planning on buying her to look at her. Off they went to dig up a saddle, and a bridle, and… lesseee…. that old blanket is somewhere around here… Ugh.
“Be negotiable! If your horse is for sale for $10K but the rider who came out to look at him made that perfect connection and you knew the very moment she got on his back they were made for each other; be flexible on helping your horse get into the perfect hands! So the rider may not have the whole $10k, maybe she has $8K or is willing to negotiate a lease to own kind of deal and the horse doesn’t leave your farm till he’s been paid in full. It’s always good to be flexible.”
Disagree. If you advertise a horse for $10,000 and BELIEVE he is worth that much (yes, there is a difference between putting a horse up for sale at a price you truly think he is worth, and putting him up for sale at a price slightly higher then what he is worth so you can haggle down to the actual price you wanted for him to begin with) then you should stick right around that price. If someone wonderful comes along who clicks with the horse that is awesome, and should be taken under consideration, but if they offer way belong asking price something got lost in translation. In addition, if they have offered belong asking price because they can’t AFFORD the asking price this should send up immediate red flags, no matter how nice the person is — after all, buying the horse is the cheapest part.
I’ve haggled my fair share of horses, both as the buyer and the seller. Either way, I’ve always had my “set price”… the price I won’t go below if I’m the seller, or above if I’m the buyer. Money is a tough thing to talk about, especially with strangers, but it should be out there from the get go if your asking price for your horse is firm, or you are willing to be flexible (in that case go with the standard OBO after the sale price).
On a related note, I think any type of lease to own (whether on property or off) or a “two week trial” is just asking for disaster. Your horse should change hands ONLY when A) you have the money in cash B) you have a good sales agreement signed by both parties C) you feel 100% comfortable with where your horse is going.
I agree. There’s no obligation to be flexible in your pricing. It might be in your best interests as a seller to be flexible… but hey if you want $10K you have the right to insist on it… it might mean the horse sits in your barn waiting for a buyer willing to pay that price and costing you more in feed with every day that goes by… but that’s the seller’s decision to make. I paid full asking price for my current horse. I offered less (because many sellers will take less), seller said no, he thought the horse was worth the full asking price… I wanted the horse and could afford the price, so I paid it. I think the common practice is that most people advertise horses (and cars, and houses, and everything else) for a more than they realistically expect to get, but sellers certainly don’t HAVE to be flexible.
There are trials and trials. We allowed a return for any reason within a week. But the horse didn’t leave our property without all paperwork signed and payment in full.
We have a reputation. I don’t want someone I sold to stuck with a horse they don’t like. I also don’t want someone stuck with a horse they don’t like because I’ve had a horse I didn’t like, and it was awful.
I like to deliver them for a small fee so I can see where they are going. I always figure I don’t have to leave the horse if it is not a good place. So far, so good.
This is more for the horse’s sake than anything, but I feel that a good seller should ALWAYS check up on the horse. We had a very close call to one of the geldings at our barn, but he was saved because they CHECKED UP ON HIM.
Easy is a 16.2-17hh Quarter Horse gelding who was bought by our barn after his barrel racing career came to an end. He was trained in English and used as a lesson horse. He was a super teddy bear. Kids whose entire bodies were the same size as his head would walk up to his stall, and he’d lower his head to them, they’d hug him and he’d sigh and fall asleep in their arms, it’s adorable. He was perfect for the larger kids who didn’t fit on the bombproof ponies. But his withers were injured and sore and he was constantly going lame after being worked. So after a few rounds of going lame – getting healthy – going lame – getting healthy the barn retired him to pasture. He’s fairly young still, only 15-16 years. Then a couple about 60 years of age came to the barn owner asking for a pasture pet. They were checked out and all seemed well. Easy was sent to their property where he was to be left either in the pasture and to receive as much loving as he could possibly handle. But a couple months later, the barn owner scheduled an appointment to go check on Easy to be sure all was well. But when she arrived, she found a skinny, shaggy, long-toed horse. She told the owners she would be back soon with a trailer, and that Easy was coming back to the barn with her. They were cooperative and Easy was brought back to the barn where he’s grown fat and happy again in the pasture with his little Morgan friend, Pat. The BO has sworn that Easy is never leaving the property again.
As for having the horse ready to go, I’d personally prefer it not to be. I’d want to see how it behaves when it’s time to be caught and brought in from the field, how it behaves when being groomed in the cross tires, and how it is with its feet being handled. I want to see how it behaves when being tacked up (like Tess, who was otherwise a perfect angel would snap at anything she could reach when you cinched her girth up) and after all of that I would want to see the seller hop on a ride the horse first. If it’s going to freak out on its rider when they mount or if they’re wackos during the first few minutes of the ride, I feel that the seller should be the one to risk that injury and not the buyer.
And I thought I was the only person in the world to mourn the passing of punctuality. Personally I blame cell phones !
How come phoning me to tell me they are going to be late when they already are is acceptable ?
Have only recently become the owner of a cellphone – I managed 47 years without one, and now people think it will be ok to be late, because they can text me. You’re joking right ?
The only reason I even got one of the pesky things, is ‘cos the city I live in has been plagued by some severe earthquakes over the last 18 months, which means no power and/or no phones for a bit, and I am sick of my family nagging me. It lives in the handbag, switched off.
Quite frankly I’ve enjoyed both of RLTWs posts. There may be elements that I have tried and they have not worked for me but overall she’s hitting lots of good points.
I wanted to point out that this seller’s article is similar to what I expect of a trainer. (Which I would LOVE to see a Getting a Lesson Etiquette and Giving a Lesson from RLTW.) If I am selling my services, I expect you to be prepared and ready for me to give you the full benefit of what you are paying for. If I am paying money for your services, I expect you to respect me a person and my horse as an individual (I’m not saying don’t critize me or my horse, we’re perfect, I’m saying use constructive, helpful critisism). Could some posts be done in the future on those topics?
Loved the bit about the “In the Army, 15 minutes early is on time. Arriving on time means you’re late”. What used to drive me crazy was when clients or my trainer would arrive late or they would call 15 minutes before or at the time of their lesson to cancel. I am out here 30 minutes before and 30 minutes after you are to get everything ready and cleaned up, you only pay me/I pay you for the hour we interact. It got to be so bad, that if my kids and their parents didn’t let me know an hour in advance they were not able to make it that day, they owed me half the lesson fee. I couldn’t do too much about my trainer though execept act like her personal alarm clock.
An etiquette post along those days would be awesome. I’d e-mail it to every horse person I know.
Not about the original post but your comment about trainers showing up late struck a (not so nice) cord with me! (But not because I disagree!
)
I had a trainer that had good recommendations and a good show record in the sport that I had chosen at that time. I gave her 2 months of lesson time before I did not show up any longer. The reason I never came back is because we had a set lesson time every week (It was written on her calendar in her tack room – I saw it!). I always showed up at least 30mins early to tack up the horse, but he was special needs and needed a special wrap on his legs to keep him sound (he was in his 30′s) so I couldn’t ride him until she got there. EVERY SINGLE LESSON she was at LEAST 30 minutes late (and that was the first lesson – the wait became longer each time). Finally, after waiting for 2 and a half freakin hours for her to even CALL me (I’d left about 20 voice mail messages and several text messages) I finally left as I had to go to work.
She called me that afternoon and asked me to pay her because I wasn’t there for my lesson.
I not be returning for lessons nor would I be paying her $75 for a 45 minute lesson that never happened because she couldn’t show up on time – ONE SINGLE TIME. I had witnesses to every incident. Now I just don’t trust anybody to show up on time.
The sad thing was, I learned a lot from her and I think I could have progressed quickly with this trainer, and I understood her training style. I was willing to lease said gelding as we got along famously and he wasn’t an easy ride – at the tune of $500/month.
I never missed paying for a single lesson. I was never late. I had that gelding as clean as his appy self could be. I seriously hope this trainer reads this, realises I’m talking about them, and hangs their head in shame. It is inexcuseable to ignore a paying client (at the tune of $75 for 45 minutes!) and it is inexcusable to expect them to pay for a lesson that did not occur because the trainer was too flaky to show up on time, ever.
Ugh, damn keyboard! It should read:
I *told her I would* not be returning for lessons nor would I be paying her $75 for a 45 minute lesson that never happened because she couldn’t show up on time – ONE SINGLE TIME. I had witnesses to every incident. Now I just don’t trust anybody to show up on time.
Haha, hate it when keyboards develop their own personalities.
Totally understand. When you’re in a business relationship, respect for time and the people involved has to go both ways.
Takes a bit of nerve to charge you for not being there three hours after your lesson was supposed to start! How does she make a living? I wouldn’t think too many people would be waiting in line for treatment like that.
Yeah, I’m a pretty patient person (obviously in this case) but I actually learned from her once she showed up which is why I kept coming back. I was willing to tolerate being a “little” late, but constantly being a LOT late – just not cool!
Now I have a bad taste in my mouth over trainers and have been unable to commit to even finding a trainer since her. I know I need lessons again (once my kiddos are born) but I just don’t trust trainers much anymore.
Maybe I know this trainer, maybe not, but every hunt/jump trainer in our area is the same way. People who like them get use to it and tolerate it, but I think it’s bad business and know many people who have left them because of it.
Can’t stand people who are chronically late myself. When I say I am leaving my farm at 7 AM, you can be assured the horses are loaded and the truck and trailer is going down the driveway at 7 AM. It only takes once to show up at 7:15 to realize, opps, she’s left without me.
You got it!!! I was actually thinking about doing that one next.
I was reminiscing about my first lesson barn in Va experience and remembered riding in a small arena with 6 other horses and my instructor was chatting with our moms while we ran around the arena out of control. I’m surprised non of us died while we were there!!! lol
Whoo! Yay! Looking forward to it.
I once gave some lessons to a relative of mine who wanted to learn how to jump and ride English on her horse. While in the barn, the barn owner came up to me and talked to me about her own daughter, asking if I would give her lessons as well. I added the daughter for lessons, and halfway through the first lesson, she started crying. We talked through her upset, and ended on a good note. A few lessons later, Mom talked to me again, completely impressed and surprised, because before her daughter used to end every lesson in tears. EVERY lesson. I remember looking at the mother in disbelief. What kind of an instructor lets that happen?
I will freely admit that sometimes I would spend five minutes or more just watching the students ride, not interfering, and deciding what we might need to work on for the day or week. I also frequently talked to parents, because without their support and understanding the students aren’t going to get very far in this sport. But the concept of standing in the middle of an arena chatting on the cell phone and calling out random important instructions like, “Sit back!” and “Put your heels down!” is just not something I’ve ever been able to understand. How can instructors NOT get pulled into the lesson and become excited about teaching riding?
CHARM said:
>>>I showed up there, they got the grain bucket, enticed her out of a pen that was knee deep in muck, stood there with a halter on her, and when I said, “So do you have a saddle?” they said, “Oh.. you want to ride her?” Well….. yea. I wasn’t really planning on buying her to look at her. Off they went to dig up a saddle, and a bridle, and… lesseee…. that old blanket is somewhere around here… Ugh. <<<
Great post!
I suddenly had a light bulb go off as soon as I read this. I used to try and get info/pics/videos out of people, but I don't anymore. I've done much of my preliminary shopping via the internet–and I think we should make a whole category of etiquette just for internet sellers. This clueless person mentioned above is the internet equivalent of the idiot who lists their horse for sale without a real picture of the thing to look at ( And NO, I don't count 3 cell-phone shots taken over a fence while the horse is head down in a round bale! ) or any info about the horse. Do you need yet a third guest-poster about this subject? Because I have rants.
Hey Einstein! One line does not a description make!
My biggest pet peeve is people who are dishonest when selling horses. There are people out there who don’t mind a hot or spooky horse. There are people who trail ride lightly and can take something that can’t hold up to jumping. When you LIE, you do an injustice to the buyer AND the horse. It pisses me off most when ‘rescues’ do it. I knew an organization that would routinely hide things like bowed tendons and even a screwed-together hock from adopters.
If you think that the complaints about the penultimate post were about supporting the lack of etiquette then you are sorely mistaken. It sounds stupid and childish to state “Long live etiquette” like you are supporting revolution, when no one was stating the opposite.
The point of the opposing posts was, “etiquette or not, this is how it is when selling a horse.”
I say “Long live, I sold my horse without getting an ulcer, because I’m a grown-up and know how things really work, and I don’t fret instead about ‘how they should be’.”
Seller etiquette is so important too. There is nothing more frustrating than driving TWO HOURS to a predetermined appointment time…to find out the person was not even there. I suspect she was though, and the reason for this being…
I talked to the woman over email multiple times and on the phone once. We made the appointment for us to meet the pony and determine if it was a good match a week ahead of time. She lived two hours away from us, and for a person who preferred talking on the phone because it didn’t waste her time like sitting in front of the computer answering emails did, I assumed she would respect our time as well. When we reached her gate, ON TIME, it was closed. I rang the bell and left two messages on her phone, but nothing. We waited nearly a half an hour, then left. When I got home (three hours later, because we brought the whole family to meet the pony and after all, the pony was for our children) there was an email from her sent about fifteen minutes from after we left her gate stating that she was out delivering the pony we had scheduled to meet to a nice old man who “really clicked with her.” Hmm…wow, thanks for letting us know A. that you had someone else interested in the pony B. that you had decided to sell the pony to the man and C. that you wouldn’t be home that day anyway (I thinks she was). Oh and which I suspect after researching her phone number, etc. online is D. she was actually a horse/pony dealer and sang a nice song while not giving a crap to where the pony/horse was going to…she was out for a quick buck, and since the man probably paid for the pony sooner than our appointment, that’s where the pony went and she never bothered to let me know until she remembered while we were standing at her gate. After doing a bit more research, I found ads stating that she was looking for cheap horses/ponies for her family to love and learn on, but at the same time found ads for ponies/horses for sale, in addition to the pony ride business she ran which she had told me over the phone she was tired of people and was downsizing her horses and ponies. Ah yes…scammers and flaky losers who actually don’t care about the animals.
After talking with one of my horse friends, I learned that she actually FLEW to a different STATE to see a horse she was interested in purchasing in, only to be told when she got there that the horse had sold. I didn’t feel so bad about my five hours.
That being said, if you are selling a horse (or anything for that matter) PLEASE contact the other interested parties you’ve already scheduled a meeting with to let them know it has been sold. It really doesn’t take much time out of your day for that courtesy, and the interested parties will appreciate the effort on your part. As it is, I won’t consider any ads from the flaky lady, and I let other horse people around me know about her as well. The flaky lady already missed out on one pony from another person (that she undoubtedly would have just turned around and sold) because I had already spoken to her about the flaky pony dealer. What can I say…small town. Anyway…just please consider common courtesy and common sense.