PNW’ers – OT but very important!
Oct 26 2010
THEY FOUND HER! She’s ok! Thanks to ALL for spreading the word and your good thoughts and prayers!
My friend’s daughter, Riley, went missing this morning from the Renton Highlands area. She left her house to go to school but did not arrive. The school never notified her family that she was absent, so they did not discover that she was missing until after school. (Insert your choice of editorial comments).
Riley is 12 years old, 5 foot 4 inches, about 105 pounds with short red hair. They believe she may have run away. If you live in the Seattle-Tacoma area, please keep an eye out and please forward this to your friends! If you have any information or think you may have seen her, call King County Sheriff Sgt. Andrea Alexander at (206) 296-3883.
38 comments to “PNW’ers – OT but very important!”
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Very scary. Even living here in Podunk, AL, we have an automated system that informs parents their child was absent from school. Since I work for a school system, though, I can tell you that the reason parents are not usually notified until after school is because there are too many children that check in late due to a doctor’s appointment, dentist, missed the bus, etc. We had a student show up at 2:15 the other day, for the last 45 minutes of school… and what on earth is the point of that? But they do it all the time; and notifying parents too early in the day would result in a plethora of irate phone calls to the office.
Hopefully, they’ve gotten out an Amber alert and Riley will be found quickly (safe and sound!)
Please keep us updated.. Did she actually get to school? Your friends must be frantic.. There is a site called websleuths
that could help get the word out..
Many hopes and prayers that the (stupid if a runaway) child will be found safe..
WILL CROSS POST!!! PRAYING SHE IS FOUND SAFE!!
You know, I’d say it’s unbelievable that the school never notified the parents, but really, I was just reading several stories on change.org this morning. The one that stands out in my mind is the lawsuit brought by the family of a 14 year old girl. They claim, and have evidence, that she was told by a teacher to go into a bathroom with a boy who had been sexually harassing her and other girls. The school had done nothing so the teacher took matters into her own hands. The idea was to bait the boy into doing something so that he’d get into trouble. The girl didn’t want to take part, but she complied when the teacher assured her nothing would happen. Well, for reasons unknown, the teacher went back to her classroom. The girl was left unsupervised with the male student and she was sexually assaulted.
There were several other stories about how pathetic schools are at keeping students, especially girls, safe. Add this one to the list. Man… something’s gotta change.
My very best to Riley’s family. I hope she’s found safe and sound.
Stupid stuff happenes every where, but this one is really hard to believe. Afterall, you can’t believe everything you read on the internet.
There are many articles regarding this case. Here’s one of them http://www.change.org/petitions/view/justice_for_14-year-old_raped_after_being_used_by_teacher_as_bait
Yep, sorry to horrify you, but this is a real lawsuit, not just some… RuMoR off teh interwebz… and for what it’s worth, I believe the plaintiff. Something needs to change in our schools. I just read a book, The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker, a personal security expert, which had an incredibly hair-raising true story about lack of student safety in schools. Students simply aren’t protected well enough when the adults in charge are incompetent.
@FHOTD: I’m so glad they found Riley. =)
I have joined the FB group and shared with all my US friends and asked them to share with all their friends and family. I hope Riley is found soon and that she is okay x
The school never reported a 12 y.o. didn’t make it to school?!!! WTF?!!!
I pray she is found safe and the only issue is a disgruntled pre-teen. I will send to my West Coast contacts. Please keep us informed, okay?
Cindy
Northern VA
I ran away as a teenager for what I felt were valid reasons…I was very lucky and came home after a couple of months. Do not give up hope and know that she will contact at least one of her friends, so MAKE them tell you where she is. They may feel they are protecting her from an abusive situation (as relayed by a teenager).
I’m in that area. I’ll keep an eye out.
Please keep us advised. I have shared on Facebook. Best wishes to your friends.
Boy does this post bring back bad memories- prayers for mom and the girl- “just” a runaway is in just as much danger as any missing child- 12 is a child! At 15 my “challenging” oldest daughter got expelled for the rest of the semester. Redmond Oregon High School 1996 thought it was Okey Dokey to “inform me” by sending a note home with the Princess of Darkness so they could save a stamp- never mind spending a second to call me. Are all the parents of teenagers ROFL- my kid sure enjoyed that huge amount of undeserved trust. She was booted for pretty much creating havoc in every class and finally inciting a schoolwide near riot when she felt one of her friends was wrongly treated- sure she is going to take her disciplinary note home to mommie.
Weeks later I go to school to leave my daughter an important message and find out she is un-enrolled and has been for nearly a month*&^&%$^&(*&)((*&%&^$^&%*&&)(&)&(*&%&^$&^%*&()*&)(&*- But wait it gets better-The bus still came and picked her up everyday and my daughter was just spending her time all day at the “Party in the Park” with the rest of the booted kids who’s parents also didn’t know- then moseying back to campus jumping back on the bus and riding home.
I hope she returns safely. Please keep us posted.
I would never rely on the schools. We hack away their budgets and allow poor performing administration to linger on running them sloppily. Teachers can only do so much but they do not run the schools. We ‘quit’ public school and we combine homeschooling w/ private schooling now.
Amen SuperSTB and I work in a school (really like mine but have seen plenty I didn’t- the admin at the top sets the tone for everything- boy have I worked some you wouldn’t believe)
Like EpicFarms said… most schools don’t call after absent students because they’re usually late for a plethora of reasons. BUT… that doesn’t mean it should have been ignored. When I was a student teacher, I made a point to call the home of a student that was absent without notice by lunchtime at the latest to inquire after them and ask if homework could be sent with a friend, etc. This way, the parents knew that we noticed that the child wasn’t there, but we weren’t going to be nasty or hounding about it. I got thanked more often than not for it.
Praying she’s found; I know from personal experience it’s terrifying to have a student go missing, but I can’t imagine your own kid going AWOL. Will crosspost where I can.
Our (private) school had a policy that if a student wasn’t there by 15 minutes after start, the parents got called. If there was an appointment the school needed to be informed about it ahead of time, and otherwise it was an unexcused absence. Even if the parent later coughed up an excuse. Pretty quickly the parents got a grip and started calling the school when the kids weren’t going to be there – which as you can see is essential for everyone’s safety!
Praying for this girl to be found. And I hope that whatever is going on that makes them believe it’s likely she ran away, they will let her know through Facebook, etc., that when she comes home that situation will be addressed by her parents who love her, as opposed to harsh punishment and ending up in lockdown. She’s out there reading this – make sure she knows she has a home to come back to and that whatever was bothering her can be worked through, and isn’t as important as that you love her and want her to be safe.
Thank you Alliecat. Sadly, you hit too many nails on the head. The system you described worked because it held PARENTS accountable for THEIR children. As a special educator with a history of working with youth at-risk, the common factor in more cases than not is a lack of accountability on the part of the students and, ultimately, their parents. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been told that it’s not only my job to teach children the 3R’s, but to also teach them manners, respect, responsibility, etc. Yes, TO AN EXTENT, that is my job as I BUILD UPON THE FOUNDATION LAID BY THE PARENTS, but when you send a 5-year old to school who has never been expected to clean up their own mess or who has never been taught that it’s not appropriate to call his/her mother (or teacher!) a fat whore when s/he doesn’t get their way, guess what, that’s your creation and your problem, and is in NO way my fault or my responsibility to fix.
Don’t get me wrong. In NO way am I saying that Riley’s parents are responsible for her disappearance. If they knew she was threatening to run away or if she had a history of it, could they have called the school to make sure she arrived safely? Yes, but is that practical for most parents? Or relevant at this point? Not really. But nor do I understand why people think schools should be calling when kids aren’t there. As parents it’s OUR job to make sure they arrive safely and get home safely. Every single thing we do every single day involves risks. We do what we can to minimize those risks, like wearing helmets when we ride, wearing seatbelts in cars, not playing in traffic … What I’m saying is that even bad things happen to good people and we need to focus our energy on the missing children of the world, not place blame as to how they got there. It hurts everyone involved and helps no one.
My thoughts and prayers are with Riley and her family. Godspeed.
“But nor do I understand why people think schools should be calling when kids aren’t there. ”
If I don’t show up at work, someone WILL notice. If I hadn’t called in, I’m pretty sure my coworkers would be really worried & taking action by 10 AM. And I am an adult. Why is it too much to expect a school to keep track of who is present and who is not? Have they stopped calling attendance?
What a pretty girl. I hope if she did run away she makes a good choice and calls to let some one know she is safe. Praying for her and her family
Please let the schools upgrade their system to send home a notice when kids are absent so that parents can get a jump on situations like this. That gives teens that are runaway risks that many more hours to get that much further away 
Good job sharing Fugs, keep us posted!
I do not know anyone up in Seattle, but I will add to the prayers that she is safe.
A friend’s sister recently went missing; turns out she ran away and was found (safe) a little over a day later. I hope this ends in a similar way.
Oh, me too. It’s awful waiting and watching and I’m not even family, I’m just one of her horsey friends.
Will keep this child and her family in thought and prayer.
They found her! A store manager spotted her at the Fairwood Safeway. It’s within twenty minutes of where she went missing, and in a reasonably safe area.
Best wishes to the family as they move forward with healing. Happy and well adjusted kids don’t generally run away, they’re all going to have a crapton of emotional work to do.
True, although it bears noting that my ex’s 15 year old ran away in a fit of temper when we discussed selling one of his horses that she liked (it was a crappy polo pony). Tweens and teens DO act out of emotion in ways that are not rational and certainly not well thought out.
Certainly. A dramatic nature and a few too many TV shows could lead to that pretty easily. I do hope that’s the case here – that the overwhelming response to her disappearance will be enough to convince her that she really is loved, and it’ll blow over easily. My worry is that it’s statistically likely that something is seriously wrong, either with the family or with the girl, but instead of this acting as a wake-up call, everything could just go back to the way it was. (And she runs again next year.) That’s what would have happened in my family if I’d tried to run, my parents were in total denial that there was anything wrong. But you know this family and I don’t.
If you’re looking for books that are more realistic about what happens to runaways, there’s a Mercedes Lackey book called “Born to Run” that was specifically written to reach out to street kids. It’s available online for free here: http://www.baen.com/library/ (I love that their publisher does that!) It’s a magic/fantasy/elves kind of story in a modern setting, if Riley’s into that. It involves a girl about her age who ran away from a middle class family and wound up as a hooker – there’s some pretty blunt discussion of what her life is like.
Oh, also meant to add – I shop at the grocery store where she was found a couple of times a month. You were reaching exactly the right people to be on the lookout.
Well… unfortunately I see the kid’s side in this one. It’s terrible not to be in a financial position to make decisions about the animals you love and care about. How would you like it if someone could sell YOUR horse? That it was a crappy horse, objectively, is not really any sort of a meaningful point here.
Unfortunately there’s never going to be a way for kids to be born on earth with full autonomy and the ability to care for themselves, and so kids are always going to have to endure situations which no adult would think of tolerating for a heartbeat. But the least adults can do is be sensitive about how miserable it is to be helpless.
It wasn’t a personal horse that was HER horse. It was part of a polo string that her father owned.
That said, her tactic worked and we still own that damn horse today, LOL. He is on a long term lease in Idaho to another little kid as his former admirer is now a broke adult with 2 kids of her own… Fortunately, he turned out to be a much better horse with age. When I wanted to get rid of him, he was striking at people, kicked someone in the head, and tried to chase and attack my dog. He was not a happy camper. In retrospect, I’m thinking ulcers but this was 1992 or so and I didn’t know about ulcers then!
“THEY FOUND HER! She’s ok!”
Glad to hear it! Methinks you should rephrase that headline, though:
THEY FOUND HER! She’s ok and is now grounded for the next 97 years!
LOL. But they promised her she wouldn’t be in trouble if she came home.
I am gonna suggest to her mom that we all be very nice to her, but buy her a collection of Ann Rule books…she needs a wake-up call about what CAN happen when you do things that risky. You want to make a point, you’re frustrated you need time away from your family, whatever, there are way less life-threatening ways to do it.
I am just glad she is safe.
Whenever I had a fight with my parents, I would run away from home. Started doing it at age 7!
My parents and my best friend’s parents struck a deal when I was in Jr High. If I felt the need to “run away” I could walk over to my friend’s house and stay the night there, even on a school night, and I wouldn’t be punished for it. The same thing applied if my friend had to “get away” from her parents. Luckily us two girls wore the same size clothes, so we would just borrow each other’s stuff until everything was straigtened out at home. Liz only “ran away” to my house once or twice, but I ran her her house A LOT. I love her parents forever for taking good care of me so that I didn’t do anything dangerous.
I still fight with my parents a lot! Luckily I have my own house now
I was going to suggest something similar to this – every teen needs an “emergency auntie” they can go to when things get hot at home – just being around someone who isn’t a parent and not emotionally entangled in the situation is a big help. My husband had a friend who lived most of a semester in a room set up in his basement – as far as he knows, there were no serious issues with his friend’s family, they just got to where they couldn’t talk without fighting. Around OTHER people’s parents his friend was a nice, respectful kid.
YEAH for the wonderful news– ps my “Princess of Darkness” turns 30 tomorrow- she grew up and turned into a happily married Martha Stewart wanna-be, conservative Tball mom of three incredible boys.
Yes, you surely cannot predict. I am dying to go to a h.s. reunion and see how everybody turned out. They will be surprised about me. I have stuff written in my yearbooks like, “you shouldn’t be so quiet.” HA! Guess I made up for it!
So glad they found her!!
That being said, my school doesn’t send alerts when students are absent. I wouldn’t expect them to. It’s more mine and my parent’s job to know where I am at all times. I go to a small school and there’s 600 students in the high school alone. How are a handful of teachers, a vice principal, and a principal supposed to keep track of that many people? Would be great for schools to have an auto-alert system set up for students that are absent, though. We tend to have a LOT of skippers.
Schools need to be a LOT more proactive on preventing this kind of thing, but kids also need to be taught how to deal with it on their own. There isn’t always going to be someone that they can run to for help when they need it. At least not right away.
A few years back when I was still in school, our principal was a bit of a whackjob, and was super school spirit! So we would get and automated message saying “_______ didn’t making it to the castle today! All of Sterling High just wanted to make sure everything was ok with ____.” (Our mascot was the knights, so they called the higschool the ‘castle’. Even had the cafeteria and hallways painted like a dungeon.
Now that sounds like fun, if you ask me!