How about some discussion on Good Parents du Jour?
Feb 10 2010
I got an e-mail not too long ago from a young lady who was growing up in a hoarder’s house of horrors. Â I don’t want to give details, except to tell you that she and her horse are safely out of there, but it really made me think about how grateful I am that I was raised by someone who loved animals and taught me the importance of providing proper, consistent care. I can’t imagine growing up in a home with someone neglectful or abusive toward animals, knowing that you are under-age and may have to tolerate the situation until you are 18.
There really wasn’t any question in our house about animal care. We always had dogs, and those dogs always had fresh, clean water. I spent many a weekend afternoon picking up poop in the yard and can still remember my mom saying “you want a dog, well, this is part of owning a dog!” The dog came from the shelter, a super cute Collie-Sheltie mix, so I learned early that you could get a beautiful dog from the shelter and that it was a very good thing to save a life if you could do it.
I’m not sure I was ever specifically taught to be kind to animals, or if I was, it was too early to remember it. Â I may have just learned by example. Â I distinctly remember decking my cousin when I was 6 or 7 because she was pulling her dog’s ears to make him yelp. Â This was when I learned that not everyone took animal abuse as seriously as I did. Strangely, we never got invited to their house again…
Most of all, I learned that daily care was not negotiable. Â It did not matter if it was a holiday. Â It did not matter if it was my birthday. Â It did not matter if I was sick, or tired, or crabby or whiny. Certain things had to be done for the dogs every single day. Â Fact. Â Not up for discussion.
So that’s what I want to talk about today. What did your parents do to teach you about proper animal care? What rules did they have? What happened if you didn’t feed the dog or brush your horse? What did your parents do that turned you into the good animal owner you are today? I’d love to hear the stories – and I’ll bet they’ll be helpful to my readers who have little ones now and are thinking about how to ensure they set them on the right course early where animal care is concerned!
170 comments to “How about some discussion on Good Parents du Jour?”
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I would much rather clean the stall, tack room or hay barn and pick up dog dirt as well than clean my house. I use that as an excuse, too: “Oh, please forgive the mess in my house. I have animals.” I think I’ve seen doormats that say that very thing. I want one for every door into my house.
We have domesticated these animals and therefore we OWE them. They depend on us for feeding, doctoring, maintenance. I interpret this as being a “good steward.”
I feel sorry for people who have never made a connection with another species. They don’t know what they are missing. ;o)
Oh, I’m the same way. I’ll muck stalls all day rather than clean the house. I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve realize it’s much easier to just pay someone else to do the house.
Yes, but the problem is, I’d have to clean house FIRST. There is no way I’d let anyone in the house to clean because my reputation would suffer. Besides, the first cleaning is always the most expensive, and they’d charge me an arm and a leg ;o)
~~SIGH~~
I’d be more than eager to swap someone. YOu clean my house, I’ll clean your barn. Unfortunately, there are more horsefolk who feel like I do than there are ‘housebound horsewomen’.
A bit of a tangent, but…
My parents already had a dog when I was born. They tried to teach me to be responsible for it, but it would only respond to my father. A couple years after she died (at the ripe old age of 17!), we got a young dog (not a puppy, but not full-grown), which was supposed to be “my” dog, but when it proved to be too rambunctious, my mom enrolled in obedience class (not once, but *twice*), and as a result, he would only listen to my mom. she’d ask me to take him for a walk, but he’d just sit down, dig in his heels, and refuse to go anywhere unless mom took the leash. so much for “my” dog!
So when I was 16, I got a pet rat. I loved that little guy! My mother was tolerant, but the tail freaked her out… Dad was absolutely outraged and disgusted that I would bring “vermin” into the house, made references to the black plague, etc. So Ozzy the rat was all my responsibility. I cleaned his cage, fed him, played with him, and generally enjoyed his company…
…Until I went to boarding school a year later. My dad went ballistic that they were now going to have to take care of “the vermin” (he always called it “the vermin”) in my absence, and made what I hoped to be idle threats about throwing it in the trash where it belonged. when I came home for Christmas break, Ozzy’s cage wasn’t in my room, and I freaked out, fearing the worst. My mother simply smirked and told me that Dad had put the cage down in his work room because he thought “the vermin” might get lonely. During the summer when I came home, I ended up putting the cage *back* in my dad’s work room because Ozzy would bang on the water bottle every morning at 6am, which was the time that my dad would feed him!
Ozzy died from some sort of tumor while I was school the following year, and dad called me and very gruffly to say that “the vermin” had gone. Then he very quickly handed off the phone to my mom, who promptly told me that dad had been crying all morning, and had already picked out the spot in the back yard where he was going to bury him.
What a great story about “The Vermin”.
We had a pet white rat who also died of a tumor.
I also had a pet rat AND my family paid to have tumor removal surgery for her! She lived about another year and a half after surgery… We always got a good laugh out of $200 surgery on a $2 pet. =]
I have a similar story…I was always the one bringing home the stray animal (dog,cat, rabbit, bird, pony) when I was younger. My dad grumbled and complained fiercely everytime, but allowed it. My mother would help with the care until we got the stray healthy and then found a home for them. 75% was our place
We had a lot of spayed/neutered barn cats. 
Well, one day (not to long after having listened to my dad lay down the law about animals, especially rodent like animals *he hated rats/mice/hamsters*) I was at the mall, and someone was selling baby ferrets. There was only one left, and he was so tiny. Way to early to be in a mall parking lot, being sold out of some guys truck. So I promptly purchased Ferret Fart, then went and got him his cage, bed and all the ferret neccesities. I snuck him into the house (with mom’s help) and hid him in my room. There Ferret FArt lived in his High rise Ferret cage, getting all his free no cage time when my Dad was at work. I thought my secret was safe. HAHAHA. ONe night my Dad came home from work, and went straight to my room (thinking I wasnt home) to play with Ferret Fart. Seems that my dad found out quite early about Fart, and would play with him when I wasnt home. Awkward moment ensued! My dad and Fart loved each other. He cried when Fart died of old age. It was cute to hear my dad complain about Fart and his tendencies, but love on him so much.
I was taught early, that the animals come first. Doesnt matter. They depend on you for everything. When I have children, it will be instilled in them. IF they need you, you help them.
Although I was taken advantage of by a cute little tuxedo kitty! That tramp!! She followed me home, all skinny and sad, so I fed her, bathed her, got her a flea collar and made a vet appt. She stayed with me for about 2 weeks and she took off. I named her Whiskers. I saw her the next day on someone else’s patio, eating dinner. Then elsewhere. SHe bounced around from apt to apt. LAst I saw her, she was dressed up as a Sunflower, being pushed in a baby stroller! But she was sleek and shiny and looked to be happy. Guess that is all that matters.
I believe that the level of care a person gives their animals does not necessarily reflect their parents’. My parents did not stuff rules down mine and my siblings’ throats when we had pets, and we all turned out differently in regard to pet care. I think it depends heavily on how interested in animals a person is.
The older I got, the more I read about animals, and the more I learned. I learned that it’s not acceptable for an older animal to be skinny just because it’s old. I actually took over the care of my boyfriend’s parents’ cat because I knew I could put weight on her 15yo frame in a matter of a week (they later congratulated me on how well the cat looked). I also got after a close friend of mine because his older cat was skinny. I later ran into his mom at the grocery store- she said someone had told her son that his cat was underfed and had asked her to buy it wet food
. In both cases, the excuse was “it’s skinny because it’s old”. I do not feed my animals crap, over-processed food and while I’m fine with people feeding their animals “name-brand” or cheap food (at least they’re getting fed), I get absolutely furious when I find out that my sister allows her cats to go without food for a couple days because she “doesn’t have time to go out to the store just for cat food”. I don’t care if they can “fend for themselves because they’re outside cats”; I drove it into her brain that they have come to rely on her for food and she cannot just choose when she wants or doesn’t want that responsibility. Responsibility is not an option, period.
All of that being said, these people are not necessarily bad animal owners. If anything, they are just ignorant. They don’t spend 30min in the cat food isle reading all the ingredients of every bag. They just buy the food they feel is adequate. The animals are not attention-starved, and are in generally good health. I personally believe in stretching my dollar to make sure my pets have a healthy diet. They go in and out as they please and are the nicest, coolest cats with the most personality. I medicate them as much as I can and take them to the vet when the situation is serious. I know their routines and know what they’re thinking/wanting. While my parents took decent care of their pets, I learned how to take better care of mine on my own. I did not have rules shoved down my throat when I was a kid, but luckily I taught myself proper animal care.
Actually your SO actions can be labled as “enrichment”. Many animal holding fascilities (zoos, labratories, pet stores, etc) are now making their animals work and use their brains rather than just sitting and looking at walls all day. They make ice cubes with fruit in the middle, they slather peanut butter/catfood in hollow balls and hang them just within reach so the animal must stretch to reach it or figure out how to untie the rope. They hide small pieces of food around the encloser and in nooks and cranies, rather than in a big pile where they just sit and eat. Mental stimulation is an important part of animal welfare. I’m sure many people have toys for their horses, dogs and cats but for animals who are less play oriented, making them hunt/search/travel for food is a way to get their mental juices flowing.
My dad used to wrap his hands around my dog’s neck and say “All I have to do is squeeze”. When the dog needed some stitches for an injury, he told the vet to put him to sleep because he didn’t want to pay a big vet bill (my brother borrowed money from a friend). When my cat got sick, my dad refused to let me take him to a vet. He died. After my mom died (she’s the one who gave me the animals) I got shipped off to camp. I cried every day I was there because I though my dad would kill my dog while I was gone (he didn’t). Thirty years later I still rarely speak to my dad. Everyone asks me why because they think my dad is such a great guy. I suppose my childhood led to me being obsessed with giving my animals good care. I have a farm full of animals, including several rescue dogs and cats. Every one of them from the one-legged rooster to the oldest horse gets the best care I can give them.
Just so happens february is the month I teach a college class for 1st-5th graders…….a horse course. I tell them that getting Mommy and Daddy to buy you the horse is the CHEAPEST part of the whole exercise. That, if YOU wouldn’t drink the water from your horses’ bucket,(that you have “forgotten” to clean for three weeks, then, why should he ? if you wouldn’t lay down and sleep in your horses’ filthy stall, then, why should he ? I don’t cut them much slack. I guess the next year, some of my former students probably choose rock climbing, or cooking classes instead……..?
My parents taught me right off the bat that the Golden Rule is never to hurt animals, and to always look after them properly. Even if you are a really young kid, you understand “If you wouldn’t like it, then don’t do it to animals.” It’s simple and it makes sense. Recently I introduced my 5yo niece to my horse, and although it took a LOT of repetition “always stand where he can see you. pat him gently. DON’T offer him a treat and then drop it and scream when he tries to take it- that’s teasing him and it’s not fair” she got it eventually. Although I swear I was close to just saying “If you’re scared of him taking the carrot from your hand then just don’t offer him any!”
our neighbour’s child on the other hand, is 4 and is horrible. I don’t let her play with our dog any more for that reason. we have a beautiful German Shepherd who wouldn’t hurt a fly, but this kid was seriously skating on thin ice- pulling her tail and ears, grabbing her paws, pretending to throw a toy for her and then refusing to give it…. I almost hope our dog just turns around and bites her, but I know she’s too good of a dog to do that. Pity though, little monster has it coming.
She’s really rough with her cats too, to the point where I’ve had to discipline her with time out and a stern talking-to. Why? Because mummy and daddy couldn’t possibly say NO to anything! Not even to their kid /throwing/ the cat! Sheesh, it’s no surprise she’s turned out so badly already! Her parents needed to set up rules and they didn’t. Good job guys.