Thought for the day
Jan 05 2010
Too busy to write a long post but did you all hear about Casey Johnson’s death?
Here is my solution:
If your heiress daughter is blowing all your money up her nose or into her veins, cut her off and give it to me instead. I will use it to rescue and rehab old Thoroughbred mares. Not only will your money be used for something constructive, but if she doesn’t have any money, she may have to sober up out of necessity, and may therefore survive. It’s just a win-win all around!
I am happy to submit to any tests you desire, random or otherwise, to show that I’m 100% clean and will not waste a bit of your money on any addictive substance. Only old Thoroughbred mares, which are somewhat addictive but, even when they need a lot of rehab, not as expensive as a coke habit.
Heck, I’ll even teach your daughter to muck stalls and bond with old Thoroughbred mares so that she gets some actual self-esteem and doesn’t care anymore about being high and hanging out with asshats. If her asshat friends show up, we’ll hand them a shovel too. I’m guessing they’ll run screaming and that’ll be the last you see of them! That fat piece-o-shit that was married to Brittany Murphy, can you imagine him lasting very long around a barn with work to do? He would have been out of her life in 10 seconds and she could have gotten her head on straight again.
The offer’s on the table!
All snark aside – I honestly think horses have kept an amazing amount of girls out of trouble or rescued them from trouble. Who needs to have a baby at 15 when you already have a horse to love? Who can blow money on drugs – we have the farrier to pay for! When a man breaks your heart, it’s not the end of the world – we still have our horse.
I know that when I was in high school, I wasn’t the popular type and so I had two options: the druggies or just having all my friends at the barn. I chose the latter. If that option hadn’t been available to me, most likely I’d have been drawn to the wrong crowd and become a member of it. Instead, I hung out at the barn doing nothing worse than having the occasional beer in the tackroom.
How about you? Did horses keep you out of trouble, or rescue you when your life was going a very bad direction?
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164 comments to “Thought for the day”
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Horses definitely kept me out of trouble. I remember when I was 15 or so a friend of my moms asking “Aren’t horses expensive?” and her reply was that “Its much better than a lot of other things she could be getting into.” I couldn’t agree more. I worked to help pay things like the farrier bill and horse show bills. I was all the better for it. When I graduated I didn’t sell my horses, I took them to college with me and worked extra to keep up the “habit”.
On a different note, near my parents (where there are still my sisters 2 horses) something very scary happened.
A person SHOT a mare with 3 ARROWS!!!
http://www.ajc.com/news/fayette/7-0007-000-reward-offered-266570.html
The person who did that needs to be shot and left to die just like he did to that poor mare. I saw that Neal Boortz donated $1,000 to the reward fund. WOW!! You just never know what people will do. http://boortz.com/nealz_nuze/index.html
uniquehorsetrailers.blogspot.com
I posted about that too: http://showhorsegallery.com/articles/how_about_not_shooting_horses_with_arrows
That poor mare. I’m glad she lived and I really hope the person or people that shot her get the book thrown at them. If I was in charge, each responsible party would get shot with 3 arrows a piece!
Oh yes! My horse, Sugar, kept me out of trouble. When you have to fork hay and bust water in the pond with an axe twice a day, you don’t have a lot of time to chase boys, drink or drugs. AND after you do all that work to keep the furry critter alive, you sure as heck aren’t going to let it get by with just sitting in the pasture watching you work! You get on it and ride. Otherwise, why would you do that day after day? Plus when all your friends are off doing what they do, you have your best horse buddy waiting and begging to be with you. She soaks up tears and never makes fun of you. They are the best thing there is for a girl. When my mom told me I couldn’t go out with my friends, I would go ride instead. I quickly figured out it was a lot more fun.
I’m doing everything I can to set my 6 year old daughter and my 9 year old son on the horse crazy path I was on. I want them to have something to do that strengthens their independence and decision making. I think horses are one of the most beneficial hobbies a child can have.
you are so right. my horse lakota is my “drug” of choise he is my best friend and the only “person” i can count on.(he thinks hes a people too) and when i get my heart broke hes there to do the hole you didnt need him any way and i never liked him any way thing. i even just take him for walks like you would a dog and he love every min of it. i dont know what kind of trouble i would get into if i didnt have him. i make sure he has everything he has before i spend money on anything else other then him and my cell bill. he is a very spoiled boy and he knows it too. now to find him a girlfriend that my boyfriend can ride and i can use as my back up horse for barrels and cattle. any one got a idea?
Of course. Speaking in general terms, and being aware that other groups fit this description as well, teenage girls are physically, socially, and mentally vulnerable. There’s precious little between them and people who want to hurt them.
Now teach the girl that she can control a thousand pound animal – and not just control it, but have it willingly respond to a touch, and greet her with a nicker. There’s a lot of power in that. The school bully pales in comparison.
Horses have always kept me out of trouble. At 15 I was babysitting the neighbor’s brat in return for a horse to ride. ( And he was bad, the kind of bad they make funny movies about.) I earned every minute I spent with that nice old QH. I never smoked or got drunk in high school and am still married 30 years later to my first real boyfriend with a 21 year old son. Like Cathy said, there was the occasional beer in the tack room but never more than one of those little “pony” size bottles. I didn’t have time to do those things in HS, I was riding every weekend and every evening that I didn’t have to babysit or do home work I was in the barn or on the horse.
At the time my parents weren’t real impressed. They weren’t horse people and still don’t understand it. Neither of my sisters were ever interested in horses. The older one is divorced single mom, the other was a mom at 16. So yes, I think horses were definitely the reason for who I am today.
I wasnt lucky enough to have a horse as a child, cosmetology school and a job while in High School kept me out of truble…however I do have a special little pony that has changed the lives of many children. I spent a fortune in training this little pony to do almost anything, he was such a quick and willing learner that after the driving , showing , parades and B-day partys , he went on to get his Delta certificate in therapy for children. He visits hospitals and seems to connect with the children at the end of their rope.This amazing little guy seems to know how to “release ” the children so they can pass on. He is truely a remarkable horse that seems to read childrens minds and put them at ease. I had the oppertunity to rescue Blackie , a wild little hooligan at one time , and help him find his carrier and purpose in life. I feel like it was a privledge to have had Blackie in my life, I was just a bridge, in a way to help him get to the place where he is now…completely worshiped by Son Rise Equestrian Foundation, and loved by hundreds of children. This little rescued horse will never know what its like to have an empty belly, or soar hooves, he has worked hard to get to where he is today, and I am proud of him . Soooo, a horse didnt keep me out of truble , but this horse did guide me towards the love of all horses, as Blackie was the first horse I ever owned , or met….at the age of 35, wow , late start . Now I have 4 ,all rescued from bad situations , and beautiful.
And for those with jealous husbands …when they say “your always in the stall”… you can say “yep… better to have me in your horses bedroom then the mans down the street” I love saying that to my husband …shuts him up very quickly.
AWESOME comeback!
I wish that I could put into words all that horses have helped me through. My wonderful stepfather and mom made sure that I was able to have lessons beginning in Jr.High, this truly was a life saver for me. Those horses were great to cry on, argue with and a terrific source of pride. I can still clearly feel the relief that they provided me during some troubling times. In 7th grade I was suddenly 6ft tall and skinny as a rail (not fun as a teenage girl) teased mercilessly at school but in the equine environment I was nicknamed “Bones” and somehow it was actually nice coming from them {too bad that nickname wouldn’t apply today}. Horses were a huge part of my youth and I am very grateful to have them again as an adult and for my teenage daughter.
Likewise here…my teenage years were somewhat hard…yes, there was a time period where I “fell off the path” and got into the “wrong crowd” for about 3 months when I was about 17…but after that 3 months, I got my head back on straight and the horses were there (as always) and I haven’t looked back…in high school, my friends used to get mad at me because I’d rather go to a horse show then go out drinking…yes, horses are more expensive, can be hazardous to your health, addicting…and they can drive you nuts…but, we all have to have a vice right?…lol…I don’t know where I’d be if it weren’t for that beautiful dappled bay pony who was blind in the left eye named Daisy…we did EVERYTHING together…I used to grab a flashlight and go riding at night around the house or back in the trails…I used to sit underneath her (I know, safety first…but I was like 5!…give me a break) when it was raining and eat twinkies…a bite for me, a bite for her…we used to go riding through the woods or go exploring for HOURS at a time…we showed for many years before I outgrew her and won ALOT…I’d say 1/3 of all my trophies were with that pony…not bad for my parents buying me a pony at an auction who was not only blind in the left eye, but had terribly overgrown feet, ran away the next 2 mornings after we brought her home, WITH her foaling a filly on the 3rd morning…and having her so mean when I first got her that my mom used to watch me run after her trying to catch her out the kitchen window….then she’d watch Daisy chase me past the kitchen window with her mouth wide open and ears gone…lol…she turned out to be THE best pony any kid could have…writing this just made me remember all those stories…kind of brings a tear to my eye
Horses definitely kept me out of trouble, that and supportive parents. I didn’t even date until I was 18. A good friend of mine wasn’t so lucky, though. Her parents were not supportive or understanding. (Her mom was a special ed teacher, step dad a school councilor, dad a psychiatrist in the Air Force, step mom a psychologist – oh and she was adopted as well.) Her parents felt that at 16 or 17 (it was quite a while ago) she should be capable of supporting her own habit. She tried to keep up with lessons and even leased a horse for about a year but between school, jobs, chores, and fighting with her parents she never had time to ride. She finally gave up. I eventually lost track of her but later found out that she fell in with a really bad crowd got hooked on heroine and some other bad stuff, even prostitution (I think) for a while. Fortunately she hit rock bottom and then somehow turned her life around. She survived and seems to be doing well but I’ve always wondered what her life would have been like if her parents hadn’t all been insane and if they had actually supported her love of horses. So yeah, horses can definitely keep you out of trouble but I think it does take more than just that. There has to be some kind of support from parents or some other adult role model.
This is so true. My own parents were supportive up to a point, but then — FAIL — in the worst ways. Like the time my crazy Arabian dumped me on my head and when I managed to get myself together enough to run and tell Mom she was too self involved in her depression to get me to the doctor. I don’t know if being seen would have helped, but I’ve had serious problems with C-3 and 4 ever since. After that, I quit riding, sold my horse, and got into stuff I shouldn’t have. Thankfully in my middle age I have rediscovered my love of horses and have had good people to help me along the way.
Barnkitty – I had a very similar thing happen to me at 14. I had started to hang with the wrong people and got in a car accident where I broke my femur bone and damaged 4 of my lumbar vertibrae. I was in the hospital for 5 weeks and couldn’t ride for 5 months. That sealed my fate for the next 15 years until I met my husband. At 41, I got back into horses and I really regret not staying in all along. I am still young enough and healthy enough to enjoy raising and competing with my horses for at least another 20 years and I look forward to learning everything I can along the way.
You said it, when I was 21 my parents bought me a new horse to get me away from a disaster of a relationship. The at the time boyfirend said me or the horse. I picked the horse, still have her today, and that was the best decision I ever made. I cant tell you how much my horses have pulled me through.
“… me or the horse”. <—–Easiest question ever!!!! ;o)
LOL!!! So true! Had one tell me that it was him or the cats. I informed him that the cats had been there longer so sorry I was choosing them, he really didn’t like that answer
Had another one bitch about my horse and even had his friends bitch at me about my horses, well still have my horses and he’s long gone. I would say that yes that is a VERY easy answer. lol
Horses have been a life long obsession. We didn’t have a lot of money, 6 siblings and my parents were in the ministry (pastors of a church), but some very gracious souls allowed me to ride their horses to keep them exercised. I don’t know how much they kept me out of trouble, though they sure kept me busy, so they most likely did . . . but I battled being depressed as a kid/teen and that was definitely a great outlet for me . . . trail riding and mucking stalls and just being around the horses.
When I was about 12, my friend and I were riding our horses past the local church’s parsonage. There was a visiting missionary staying there, and he came out to admire our horses. He said something to the effect of “you don’t know how lucky you are, getting to have a horse of your own”. He had several children and was a missionary to a large city in China. I think at that point I had taken having a horse for granted and didn’t realize the sacrifice it was for my parents, either. His comment made me more thankful.
yeah I missed a lot of partying because of horse shows haha. Not only did I grow up on a farm, I grew up in a SUPER small town (less than 1000) so there wasn’t much trouble to get into. As far as I know, “hard” drugs have never made their way out there. I wouldn’t say that horses had a serious impact on my drug/drinking choices, but I dont think they hurt either… and the horses definitely helped me end a bad relationship.
I remember riding my bike six miles one way each and every day to ride my horse. Boy, I wish my legs were in the shape they were back then! Needless to say, the sheer time constraints of doing that left me with little time to get into trouble.
My daughters always said their horses were the best excuse not to go to parties. “Nope, sorry, have to load the trailer for a show tomorrow!” And, I always told my husband that the horses were cheaper than any drug rehab facility you could find in the nation.
I had the great joy of taking my granddaughter to her first meeting for the 4H drill team last night. She’s going to be nine and I sure hope that horses provide her with the same outlet. The beauty of it all is that if her mom can’t take her, I can (willingly)! I don’t know which was more fun – having a couple of horse crazy kids or having a horse crazy granddaughter!
For sure horses kept me out of trouble! I was far too busy doing horse stuff and spending time at the barn to be interested in anything bad. (Plus that’s where all my $$ went!)
*****I’ve got an especially horrible story I saw in the news today. These guys deserve exactly what they did to this horse. http://www.calgaryherald.com/news/plead+guilty+over+hanging+death+emaciated+horse/2407955/story.html
I honestly can not believe anyone would think this was an acceptable way to put a horse down. Not to mention their lawyer trying to justify it by saying that the men “had no choice”. Bullsh!t. **********
I’ve been a lurker on this site for a while. I love the info and the writing, but I’m not a horse person, so I don’t comment. This post is, however, pertinent to me. The reason I’ll always have a “thing” for horses is that they saved my life when I was 16. Everyone ever heard of Remuda Ranch? It’s a treatment center for eating disorders. It differs from others in that it offers equine therapy–patients get to ride horses.
I was a surly, jaded-as-hell anorexic teenager when I crash landed at Remuda. It was my fifth in-patient treatment center for anorexia and my parents last-ditch effort. My heart was on the fritz, and my brain was so malnourished I often slurred my words. When I lay on my back you could feel my spine through my stomach. And I had charming personality to go with my physical state. I was hateful, suicidal, and perpetually angry. I’d get so enraged over things that I’d trigger nosebleeds. I only wore black and relished dragging knives across my arm and scaring my younger siblings. I was going to die, and not that many people cared anymore.
I don’t know how to tell the next part of the story without sounding sappy, but the horse I was assigned, Sundance, changed everything for me. He was a rescue, and I adored him. Before I was healthy enough to ride, I was given special permission to visit with him. When I leaned against his warm, massive body, I felt peace in every last cell of my body. When I was on his back, I felt focused and in control; two things I’d always had too little of.
After my experiences with Sundance at Remuda Ranch, I still had an uphill battle. Eleven years later, I still struggle sometimes, but that chapter of my life is closed, and Sundance was the turning point. I have a master’s degree, a great job, a fiancee, and will soon be buying a house. I’ve always been an animal lover, and I have a lot of pets (all adopted) and am involved with a local pit bull rescue. I keep parrots and house rabbits, and feed the local stray cats. But horses are always in the back of my mind.
Kudo’s to you. Now get another horse.
Thanks for sharing your story. Reminds me of a family member of mine who spent a lot of time in two different residential treatment facilities. Both used equine therapy and truly helped her turn her life around. She is doing extremely well but still has her struggles. Fortunately her involvement with horses has continued post-treamtent.
When I was going through a hard time as a pre-teen my non-horsey parents bought me a horse and paid for board and riding lessons. I always hoped that I could do the same for my children, never foreseeing how badly we would need it. Now as the mother of a daughter who was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder at an alarmingly young age, I cannot say enough about much horses have helped my family. Even with a lot of professional help and medication, there were times when our daughter’s anxiety was almost more than we could bear. The calming effect our horses had on her was simply remarkable. Many times in the middle of a massive panic attack or meltdown, we would take our little girl into the stall of a favorite horse. Instantly she would stop crying as she stroked and nuzzled her friend. I’m not a super-emotional person, but every time I think about those moments it brings tears to my eyes.
Equally amazing is the fact that over time this little girl overcame her anxiety enough to participate in horse shows. A child, who at one point in her life could barely leave the house for fear that someone might notice or speak to her, is now joyfully steering 1000 lb animals around an arena with a giant grin on her face. I’m happy to report that our visits to the therapist are infrequent now, and if you met my daughter today you would see no remnants of the terrified and withdrawn individual she once was.
Besides the obvious therapeutic effect for my daughter, horses helped my children by giving them an identity. In a town where 90% of the kids are participating in the same activities, my girls have the distinction of doing something different. Everybody who knows them is aware that they show horses and will often ask questions about the horses.
Final benefit of girls and horses– there are (usually) no boys at the barn! (Why the boys haven’t figured this out, I do not know.)
One thing I remember about my high school days is that the barn was the one place I was NOT judged by appearance. The pressure is so harsh – if you haven’t been a teenage girl, I do NOT think you can truly understand the pressure to be thin, pretty, and wearing the right jeans. At the barn, the only thing that mattered was riding well. I could DO that!
Teshie,
your experience sounds like it was really amazing. Do you know if there are many places like Remuda Ranch, that focus more on horses for psychotherapy rather than for physical therapy? I’m a medical student and would love the spend some time at such a place over the summer, since I’m an equestrian myself and am very interested in adolescent medicine.
Actually, horses got me off my antidepressants, thanks to an awesome owner who let me come out to the barn whenever I needed something to do. I spent days mucking, grooming, and cleaning tack, with a little bit of riding thrown in, and just hanging out with all-around good people. I figured it was the smart thing to phase out the meds rather than go cold turkey, and when I finally stopped, I felt great. Haven’t been on them for years now.
I don’t go out to the barn as much as I used to, no thanks to school and classes that are taking up a lot of my time, but when I can, it’s always a lift. So…I can’t say they rescued me from being in a gang or mainlining powdered sugar, but they sure helped me get through a really tough time.
I get the point here, but poor example. It has been widely reported she was cut off financially by both her mother and father (they aren’t together).
She also adopted a daughter and had made statements that she would not let her be spoiled the way she had been, because when she did get cut off she admitted she had problems dealing with it.
Most people described her as very lonely. Some people are just born troubled.
Absolutely! My mom often said what so many have already posted here. When asked how she afforded the horses, she would tell the person that every cent was well spent to keep her daughter out of trouble and in the barn! I was horse crazy for as long as I can remember! I was so blessed to grow up around horses. I started riding with my mom when I was 2, got my first pony for my 4th birthday, and met my horse soulmate when I was 6. I had him for 16 wonderful years before losing him to colic when he was 28. I grew up in the country, with a barn and my horses in my backyard. I rode the country roads and the trails behind our house. I participated in 4-H every year from the time I was 9 until I was 18. I had the most wonderful childhood imaginable – and I can’t even think it would have been half as good without the horses.
But a big part to “turning out good” was the responsibility. I had sole responsibility for the horses from the time I turned 9. That meant feeding twice a day, hauling water down the hill, and cleaning stalls. But I wouldn’t have changed it for the world!
“Now teach the girl that she can control a thousand pound animal – and not just control it, but have it willingly respond to a touch, and greet her with a nicker. There’s a lot of power in that. The school bully pales in comparison.”
Not to mention the controlling asshole boyfriends! There are so many teenage girls out there who devote themselves 100% to their boyfriends and do whatever they do. Thank god I never was one of them. I did date those boys, but always dumped them as soon as they tried to tell me what to do (that was usually a one strike you’re out, no take-backs, no re-do’s thing for me- “no need to apologize, I should be thanking you for showing me your sense of character before it was too late, now please shut up and leave before I call the police because you are no longer welcome in my presence”). I attribute my independent attitude (that’s right, we’re going to call it independent) and confidence to my life with horses– when you’ve got something you love more than the world, you just don’t need anything else.
Horses were awesome for me and I think that every kid needs to find SOMETHING they are passionate about and let that passion drive them, however I think parents need to understand that not ALL kids find horses to be their whole heart and soul. My parents bought me a horse, I didn’t have to raise the money myself, and they paid my board, so I didn’t have to get a job for that. However, they paid SELF CARE board, and they did feed for me on the mornings that I had school, but ultimately I had to make a commitment that every single day after school I would go straight to the barn, ride my horse, clean my stall, feed my horse, and help out with grooming and feeding and stall cleaning of their 4 horses! It was made very clear to me that at any point, if I decided that the frivolous teeniebopper lifestyle was more appealing to me, they were more than happy to help sell my horse so I could run along and play. Saturday and Sunday morning? Up at 5 to feed, clean stalls, ride, feed lunch hay, rotate turnout. Saturday night, they’d usually go ahead and throw my horse his food and water so I could go out with friends.
At my entire barn, I was one of 3 girls in high school who rode every day after school. There were a few who showed up every day, but they just hung out and talked at the picnic tables instead of actually doing anything with their horses. The rest showed up every now and then, usually with a non-horsey friend or boyfriend to show off their horse, feed a few carrots, talk about how “my horse just means the whole world to me, I just love her so much, she was champion of…” blah blah blah and that was it. THOSE girls did NOT benefit from having horses and I never understood why their parents continued to pay board month after month. I wish more parents would take an active approach in their kids lives to find something they are passionate about, whether it’s horses, tennis, karate, whatever, provide them with support to do it, but make them earn it!!
Yep, I couldn’t afford drugs. I made $75 a week and had to pay board and buy things for my horse. It kept my head on straight, so that during the times that I did have the opportunity to do something stupid, the knowledge that my horse needed me to be clean so I could work and pay her bills helped me make the right decisions. Of course she repaid me by trying to kick my head off on a regular basis, but I loved her anyways.
I wasn’t the popular sort either, and growing up in a decidedly NON-horsey area I was also picked on for my equine addiction. I could only ride once a week when I started, but I was thrilled. As I got to be a better rider in the troop program I hung out at the barn more, riding several days a week. I started riding at a second barn, taking private lessons and doing some schooling shows. It was there that I was able to do a few short term leases as well. I had fun enough there and I didn’t ‘need’ to (and still don’t!) drink, smoke, or do drugs.
As a city kid, the first horse I saw was a police horse. July 4, 1976 to be exact. The officer put me on top of “Charlie” and the view was amazing. I fell in love instantly. I begged for a horse of my own. My parents said no. Please? no. Then my Dad had the brilliant idea of saying I could have one if I saved up my money. Neither of my folks thought I would do it. They figured it was on me and their problem was solved. Well, it took me from age 7 to 12 to do it. But I did it. lol Anyway, my parents didn’t buy my horse. I did. This taught me all about money and finances early on. By accomplishingn this, I had the pride I needed to get through the harsh reality of a public school system. I bought my first QH at 12, and boarded outside of the city for $50. I got “hammedown” things from tack shops or other people since I paid for everything myself. (sometimes I borrowed from the bank – Dad – but I had to pay him back). Because all of the responsibility to have a horse fell on me, I could not get preggers or arrested for something stupid. My Mom told me if I did that, my horse would be sold and my life would be drastically different. Other than smoking, I was good. I thanked my parents later.
To this day, no matter how tight the economy gets, I figure out a way to make things work so my horse (my 4th and a TB) is happy, healthy, and fed. When I’m depressed, I never got to have that cheap vacation through drugs or alcohol. Never did and never will. I’ll take the barn over any of those options any day… thanks to Mom and Dad.
I’m pretty sure that’s how my barn lost a fair share of it’s riders. Boys, friends, parties… all that social stuff. I was one a member of the biggest Pony Club in the region. Now, like 3 or 4 of the girls are single mothers or have completely abandoned riding all together. But I could never do that. I told myself I wouldn’t. I made it through high school just fine having good frienships and riding regularly.
People who say “But I don’t have time to ride and work and hang out!” need to get real. There are 7 days in a week. I rode 2 nights during the school year and worked 2. I saw my friends 5 days a week at school. I was not deprived of socializing. haha
Seventh grade was my worst year so far (now in 11th) and horses definitely helped. I was teased and picked on, no real friends to turn to either. The one thing I could look forward to and completely enjoy was the once a week riding lessons I had. Kept me going.
Seventh grade was the low point of my entire life!
It gets better, I swear it does. You go to college and a lot of the crap is just over – you’re allowed to be different, you’re allowed to have opinions – it’s so diverse that EVERYBODY fits in with SOMEBODY.
Hang in there, you’re ALMOST THERE!
Seventh grade sucks. The only year I went to middle school was in seventh grade. TWO girls got pregnant, they were 14 for crying out loud! Onehad a quick fix abortion (thanks mom and dad) and the other moved across town. Girls were regularly pushed into the boys bathroom, and the door was held shut.
I begged my mom to homeschool me again and she did. My best friends are my horses and the people I’ve met through them. My best (human) friend was someone who I met in my 4-H group. we trailer to shows together, and she’ll keep her horses at my place occasionally. We are both looking forward to our senior summer, when we’ll ride EVERYWHERE!
I’m so glad that i have my horses and am homeschooled. where others have to wait 8 hours before they get to see their horses, I can step outside my house anytime, which i will occasionally do at 3 am. I’m still really busy with regular school work, college (early start!), and a job. But hey, the horses come first. I’m saving and planning for one of my horses to come to TAMU with me to keep me sane.
Horses actually got me INTO trouble when I was young!!
I was so horse crazy, but couldn’t have a horse of my own… so I did everything from stay up all night reading horse books to TRESPASSING onto people’s pastures to pet/brush/feed treats to their horses!!!
I almost got arrested more than once for it…
I know now how stupid/dangerous/illegal/rude that was, but I was THAT horse crazy. Thank god I was smart enough not to try to ride any of them!
One of the first things I did when I became an adult with a steady job was to buy a horse of my own
*sigh* my mare got me through those rough middle school years and helped me through high school, and continues to help me in college. I never had time to become part of the wrong crowd or even the popular one. I’m just fine with that because without my TB mare I don’t know where I’d be right now. I still don’t have time to become part of a crowd! I go to my college classes and rush home on the weekends to ride! I don’t know how many times I’ve just left and gone to the barn after a difficult moment and hugged the mare while bawling my eyes out.
Im a lurker here….but I was jsut talking about this the other day. I beleive horses really kept me out of trouble.
My mom introduced me to horses as a little little kid. I was always in the barn with her helping with her beloved quarter mare. when I was 10, she bought me my own pony! a wickedly cute, spunky welsh/arab cross. We did everything together. As I sadly outgrew Immy, i gave her to a little girl down the road, so Immy could have another littl girl to bully/love. Immy died a happy well loved spunky pony in her own stall at 28.
When I was 15, my mom gave me a colt for my birthday. ( he was the grandson of her mare). Joker and I figured eachother out and were great pals. Joker kept me busy, when all my friends were going out and “partying”, I had a stall to clean, a baby to halter break, and work with. I spent every evening in the barn with him, doing ground work and anything u could do with a youngster. Im proud to say that Joker didnt have anyone sit on him until he was 2, and then it was still only walk trot. he was a slow maturer…Totally not thte beefy quarter horse. lean and lanky until he stopped growing upwards. While a few of my friends ended up pregnant before graduation, trouble with the police, flunking out of school or whatever… i was attending horse clinics, shows and other 4-h things like horse judging competitions, graduated and went to college. I might have missed out on some great parties (or so i heard) or been thought of as a nerd, but I kept my nose clean and learned some important things about hard work, rewards, love and self esteem.
Looking back at all the trouble my friends got in, Im glad my grandpa bought his daughter (mom) her first pony when she was little. So the cycle continues. I hope to get my first kid a pony when the time is right. Im sure it saves alot of heartache and trouble…not to mention ponies are just soo fun!
ponies are awesome! Does any body want one? I have one that needs a rider/home..
I might be interested in your pony….shoot me an email at starrzx2@aol.com with the details!
I’m so fortunate to have had my horses through my somewhat difficult childhood and adolescence! I was still boy crazy, but taking care of horses and foals, and my kitties taught me to be VERY careful and not get pregnant, and they taught me about compassion and unconditional love. I would get my chores done and spend all day on my ASB/TWH mare, bareback, riding all over 350 acres. Every teenager needs to take care of a few horses!
If only Elin had a horse (and she could afford to rescue a lot of them) she would not care what Tiger does! She could spend all of the jerk’s money on horses and be the happiest women on earth no matter what he did.
I wasn’t a popular kid either and I definitely think horses kept me out of trouble and on a good path for life. We didn’t have a lot of money for lessons so to earn extra saddle time I did barn work and as soon as I was old enough, I got a part time job. I’ve never been out of work since that time (knock on wood and cross your fingers for me please, I have a boss that hates me now and that’s a story in itself). In turn, I spent all of my time when I was not working or studying at the barn – being around the horses was like the ultimate reward and getting to ride was the cherry. Horses teach you so much about patience, love, and responsibility (and if they aren’t doing that, you really need to pay more attention). My horse is actually a favorite former lesson horse of mine that developed navicular and was dumped when she was no longer sound for lessons and able to generate money (my trainer used to be all about the horses, but since she’s gotten older she’s gotten kind of mean and it’s become more about the money. Very sad because she was good and we used to be friends. We’ve parted ways). She’s mine for life and spends her days grazing and playing with two other elderly horses that are also retired – and the only keep she’s had to earn over the past 5 years I’ve owned her is to come when I call her for scratches and treats.
Oh, the trouble horses have averted for teenage girls!
A client once remarked that his office mate had been critical of the time and money my guy spent on his twin teenage daughters’ horse habit. “Beats the cost of rehab, though, doesn’t it?” he said while looking his unfortunate co-worker, father of a coke-addled teen, in the eye.
When girls are at the barn, they are not at the mall. When they are riding, they are not rolling in the hay with A Boy. When they are attending horsey events, with horsey people, they are not hanging out outside Forever 21. When they are saving for a new bridle, they are not buying cigarettes. When they are talking to their barn buddies about riding tomorrow, they are not sexting men older than their fathers.
When asked, which I am professionally from time to time, about the worth of horses and kids, I just bring up some comments as above and the parents usually start to get the picture. Helping a girl with her passion for horses is an wonderful investment!
I wish horses would help my 14 year old step daughter. She loves working with the horses but she’s been lying and been disrespectful. I took away working with the horses as punishment. She may get to earn it back but it’s hard when you can’t trust anything they say.
I’m trying to come up with something to allow her to earn it back but yet teach her to be respectful and tell the truth at the same time.
I know it seems backwards but my folks thankfully did not end the horse connection when I was causing them trouble. They let me know that I still had to clean stalls where I rode (this paid for my lessons) although I did not take lessons when punished I still had to groom horses. This turned out to be the needed counseling for me to get through my attitude moments. I was able to rant to the horses all of the injustices of the world and the grooming soothed my soul. Perhaps there may be possibilities for your daughter along those lines. Good luck and know that it does get better.
I only took it away from her because she told me I wasn’t supposed to help her with her homework, only her dad was supposed to help her. No offense to my husband, but he won’t be able to help the girls with their homework much due to what the assignments are. They’re just too difficult. But her mother told her the lie that only her dad was to help. Since I’m the one that works with them with the horses, it was a trade off. They don’t want my help on the homework, then I don’t want to help them with the horses.
We don’t have stalls for them to clean and the pasture is frozen so I can’t send them off to clean the shelter out at this time so we can’t do the physical labor as punishment.
I figure over time, if she improves, she can earn it back. She knows I don’t back down so hopefully she’s taking this seriously.
Horses are a privilege not a right. I gave my step-daughter everything a kid could want, including a WC halter gelding to show. Once the lying began, trust was lost and her horse privileges were taken from her. Eventually she was returned to her mother. She never knew her show gelding was visibly depressed after her departure. Apparently the horses and lying to her Dad and I didn’t mean that much to her after all. Just another selfish kid.
Horses also give us a chance to meet new friends with similar thinking and love for these magnificent creatures. Thanks for the visit, and hang tough on the step-daughter.
My parents decided that the best way to keep their girls out of trouble was to make sure we had horses as a diversion from boys. Even though they were working class and we never had anything fancy, we always had horses. I was in 4-H, FFA and rode jr rodeo. We always found a way to keep at least two in the backyard. I was able to get paying jobs riding for other people long before I could have had a real job. I cried in the mane of more horses during my teen years than I care to remember, but I saved my parents a ton in therapy costs. And yes, the horses, and other animals, kept me out of trouble. Not so much for my older sister, who they should have just paid for therapy.
When I was 15, I decided to sneak out of the house in the middle of the night with my boyfriend and some friends. Well friends mom noticed her missing and called my parents who found me missing. I got home and my parents were waiting for me…. My mom grounded me from a horse show… actually even worse – I got to go but I didn’t get to take my horse but my sister got to show. The judge was an Arab judge who would have LOVED my horse…. it was pure torture. Anytime I got grounded it was from the horse…. I agree horses are much better than other things a teenager can get in to…
I just looked this girl up, as I’d actually never heard of her before. She was the fiancee of Tila Tequila. Wow, now there’s a classy pair!
I’m certain a horse WOULD have kept me out of trouble! I was a freakin’ monster from about 13 to 17. Yet another reason I am not having children.
Deleted at the request of the writer.
Credit goes to http://www.trinityapp.com tracy@trinityapp.com
That essay is copyrighted but gets circulated without the credit a lot.
Thanks for that, I will give proper credit from here on out!
Please delete this article. It s copyrighted and every time it gets placed on a forum it gets copied and sent out without the attribution of me being the author.
Tracy Meisenbach
I’m 16 right now, and I have got to say that horses have already saved my life. I’m deff not in the popular crowd-far from it. My family has had a lot of problems lately, my brother has a serious medical problem, my best friend of my six friends I actually have moved halfway across the country, and I have been in a huge fight with former friends for the last year. The stable I take english and saddleseat riding lessons is really big in horse rescue, and really soon after I started taking lessons they rescued a emaciated, wormy, long hooved, full of rain rot, chestnut Saddlebred mare. The first time I saw her I fell in love. To me, she was beautiful, and I spent every last minute I could with her, slowly nursing her back to health. People may say I saved Belle, but my friends, family, and I know that it was Belle who saved me. Now I can happily say that Belle is fully recovered, but the barn ended up selling her.Anyways, insead of drugs, drinking, and smoking, I rescue horses, because nothing can beat the feeling that you have actually helped save a life. That and the price of horse care items is outragous!!! who has the extra money to spend on cocaine, cigarettes, or beer when there are so many cute halters and saddle pads to buy out there?!?!
I would say a qualified ‘yes’ as to whether horses saved me as a teenager… They did keep me out of trouble, but I brought my depression with me to the barn. I had a hard time making friends anywhere, and I was very hard on myself. Unfortunately, I also considered my horse to be an extension of that, and he was a bolter, spooker, and difficult to bridle. I was ashamed of him as he was a Quarab in a barn full of TB hunters. There was just no fitting in anywhere. I never stopped trying, but sometimes my depression and self-loathing was more than I could take and I would quit riding because I hated the people, hated being broke, hated my riding, hated myself. Over my life, as many as three years would go by before the itch came back. It was a good thing, though; every time I went back, I was stronger. I also decided that life wasn’t worth living in the state I was in, so the choice was clear: die, or get better. I got better. So did the riding and my general equine education. At 47, I may not be perfect, but I’ve got a hell of a skill set and the REALLY NICE warmblood mare to go with it. (plus, she only cost me $8500 as a green 5-year-old because I did my research!)
So. Horses couldn’t save me entirely as a messed-up kid, but they sure did save me over the course of my life. Nothing like HAVING to get up and take care of a living breathing creature to at least keep you functional! My husband says, “I’ve known you with horses and without horses. ‘With’ is definitely better.”
OT, but wanted to say your article in this month’s Horse Illustrated was great, Fugs! Keep it up!
What was funny was I was reading it, and as I was doing so I thought this would be great information for the Fugly blog. And there was your name! Congratulations!
No. Unfortunately, I took the wrong path which probably could have been avoided if I’d had a horse. I had my daughter at 17 and my son at 19 (and then i figured out how exactly that happens and got on birth control!). I never did get into drugs (ok, I experimented a little bit, but never with anything hard and never became an addict). My personal opinion is that if i had been able to have a horse when I reached my “troubled” years, they would not have been troubled at all. During childhood, horses were really my only friends and then at 13 they were taken away and we moved to the city and all of the sudden I became an uncontrollable wild kid. Hmmm- i see the connection there. Quite frankly, I was extremely ticked off that the one single thing that I loved was taken away from me and so i acted out in the worst possibles ways.
As an adult, I now see WHY things went the way they did, but you know when you are a parent sometimes you have to make sacrifices and just suck it up to ensure the well-being of your kids and if that means paying for riding lessons in the city- well that’s what you do. My mom didn’t and I ended up with 2 kids with a trash guy I haven’t seen in 14 years now. My son is into guitar so he gets weekly lessons. My bank account is crying tears of pain, but he gets them and he is a pretty good kid. So yeah- I think any hobby that requires responsibility can be beneficial and keep kids in line.
Chilirelleno:
Boy, we have lived a parallel existence! My life story seems to mirror yours. I had horses as a child, then they were sold when I was a pre-teen and we moved to town. Got into way too much trouble as a teenager, had my first kid at 17 and second at 19. My daughter is now 16 and son 14. We have lived in the country, with horses, since they were 6 and 4 and they have turned out to be great kids. They have given me none of the hell I put my parents through (so far!). Neither of them are really “into” horses (the horses are my hobby), but both know and have experienced the responsibilities of having horses and keeping a farm running – they have learned nothing worth knowing from their deadbeat father.
Now, I also have two beautiful little girls (almost 6 and 3) and have already bought them ponies! Hope springs eternal that one of them has the “bug” and will be my riding buddy.
I’m not sure it’s all about the horses that keep kids out of trouble (although, I’m not denying they can certainly help!). I think it’s the country lifestyle, responsibility for other living creatures, a slower and quieter way of living, quality time spent with the family, etc. Our six kids (two teenaged step-daughters as well – I have a GREAT hay-hauling crew!) understand that every event, trip to town, overnight spent with friends, sports practices, etc. has to be planned out ahead of time because we live out of town. This has really made them appreciate the time that we spend running them all over creation and the freedom that we allow them to have. At home, there are no neighborhood kids to play with and hang out with (and get into trouble with!). They rely on us to take them to visit friends, attend sports and school functions, etc. which we are dedicated to (as long as we know ahead of time). The driving burden is insane. I’ve put over 117,000 miles on my 4 year old vehicle, and we have another daily driver as well. But, the flip side is that we know who there friends are, where they live, who their parents are, and where our kids are all of the time.
Of course, all of this could blow up in my face, since our oldest teenager is only 16 and the youngest of the four teenagers is 13. The next five or six years will certainly be telling, but I think we’re on the right track!!
Just want to add- i do NOT blame my parents for my own mistakes. I think if I’d had a constructive outlet a lot of them could have been avoided, but the actions and the consequences are solely MY doing and my responsibility. Not that I think my kids were mistakes. After all, once they came along i had no real choice but to straighten my act up and get my life together.
I guess I am one that can attest to how horses can and do keep girls grounded in the true sense and away from the trials and tribulations of adolescence. I was given a horse by my parents when I was 11. It was the best thing to ever happen to me. I came from the non-horsey family but always wanted one, had a friend that had one, my sister always wanted one but grew up and left home for the boy before our parents could actually afford one and have a place to keep one (sorry so long winded there). I spent every waking hour on my horse. My friend and I rode from sun up to sometimes after sun down with our parents driving the back roads looking for us. They never thought to look 10 or 15 miles away, through the fields and woods. (this is back in the early ’70s when one could do that sort of thing) We literally lived for/on our horses. We even got stoned once in a while while out riding, when we became teens as our way of doing that dirty thing you weren’t allowed to do. But we didn’t do it out driving around with kids getting into trouble or accidents. We were smart about it. Well, we thought so…
But my parents moved on my 16th birthday and the horse couldn’t go so I had to sell her to none other than my worst show competition. That was the hardest thing for me. Then, if you can imagine being 16 and moving to a new school and leaving all that is familiar behind not to mention trying to find yourself; boys, drugs and drinking became the mainstay for a few years. It was the pits. When I was 18 I was assaulted (yep, raped and beaten by a stranger). It was a pivotal time for me to get my head back on track. And I did. A year later I met a guy who turned my life around and we’ve been together 31 years. I did not have horses again until I was 30. I haven’t looked back since. My husband knows that my life would never be whole without my horses… my husband and sons have their cars, I have my horses.
Horses definitely did and do keep me out of trouble and keep me happy. I never really had friends when I was a kid, but my horses filled that position quite nicely. I fell out of horses and riding a little over the years, following a career path which ended up crashing and burning about a year and a half ago. That sent me into a year long depression, but I finally picked myself up, bought a cutie-patootie colt who needed a home to work with and train and he’s just totally changed my life! I’m now happier than I remember ever being and have this colt who is just becoming so close to my heart. Looking forward to many many years with my boy
I am definitely one of the lucky ones who has had horses help her through some really tough times. I had the good fortune of having my first horse come into my life not long before my mother died of cancer when I was 15… she is living her well deserved life of retirement now. Both of my current horses have also been with me through thick and thin with two stays in a psych ward and losing almost all of my human friends because of mental illness. They are there every single day and love me no matter what. I couldn’t ask for anything better. And there is nothing better than feeding time when you are every horse in the barn’s favorite person!
Oh god, absolutely. It was more my dog though, who is unfortunately going to pass any day. I got her when I was nine years old and thus started my 4H career which turned into horses. But yes, dogs and horses kept me busy and I was less than the not popular type- in middle school, the dogs and horses WERE my friends.
I shudder to think of where I’d be without them. I was a bit of a black sheep anyway, I probably would have ended up pregnant and on drugs at best and at worst my depression may have been that much worse to where I would have killed myself. I certainly wouldn’t be about to finish my degree in Animal Sciences (of course) and engaged to a great guy.
Heck Yes! I had a rage-aholic father growing up. If I hadn’t had my 3 horses out in the pasture (grew up way out in the country) I am sure I’d be a total basket case now. I thank God all the time for providing me them and he was very generous about it, they were each given to me by friends or relatives and they were each very well bred high quality horses. They are absolutely the defining factor of my life.
I was terribly abused as a child and horses were almost my only friends. I never had a well-broke horse, I was probably at least as wild as they were, lol. But they gave me someone to care for, a live being that cared for me, someone to tell my secrets to. They taught me how to bond and love, and how to be strong and brave. They were the only beauty in my life at that time. Horses, good for the body AND the spirit.
Tucker and Birdie, sometimes logic will do it. Try saying something like I used to tell my kids. There is a great pride in honor, it causes a person to feel worthy, it is the one thing that no one can take from you. No matter what, when we are honorable we can face ourselves and others with confidence and pride, we can feel good about ourselves. And others will respond favorably to truth, they will have respect for you, you gain freedom and self-confidence. When lying becomes a habit no one will believe you when you are telling the truth, which is so frustrating when you ARE finally telling the truth, which can lead to depression and isolation. People pull away from us when they can’t trust us, they can’t bond with us in a real way. When we are honest and open with each other we form trusting, loving bonds.
Fugly, you forgot to mention she had juvenile diabetes, and had had it since she was 8 years old. May have had something to do with her death. Not that I want to contradict a source as stellar as Perez Hilton, or anything.
I’m sure when I was a teen horses did keep me out of a lot of trouble, even though I didn’t own one at the time. I squirreled away ever dollar a kid could possibly earn to buy and board a horse, but until I got to be 19, it just wasn’t feasible. However if I wasn’t at least trying, that money likely would have been spent on booze and smokes. I rode my parents friends horses from time to time, but after we moved to the city (bleck!) they were an hour drive away. I did take riding lessons now and then, but my parents really couldn’t afford it so I got to take them every second year from the cheapest place in the yellow pages. I got lucky though, even knowing what I know now, that place was actually pretty decent. I’m currently boarding my rescue TB with them. They aren’t THE best, but the BM is really good, he’s maintaining his weight, and I actually like the other boarders there. The other boarders are very nice and aren’t stuck up teenage girls who’s daddy pays for everything and either have a $40,000 car or have trophy wife mommy waiting out front for them in the Escalade after they hand their $40,000 horse off to their groom. (Now my parents are loaded, which dad did earn primarily with hard work. What really pisses me off is the other part of it they got by selling their farm. I was like WHAT THE FUCK! I spent my entire teenage life wanting a horse, which they said I couldn’t have because you can’t have horses in the city and they couldn’t afford board, BUT WE HAD A FUCKING FARM WORTH $8 MIL???!!!!)
I don’t have a clue who this chick is, but she sounds like a CC of Paris Hilton. LOL
My parents didn’t let me ride because they wanted to keep me out of trouble… They let me ride to shut me up! I’m serious. In fact, they make no secret of the fact that they hate that I ride. They’ve come to watch me ride so rarely (MAYBE once a year, if that) that I can’t remember the day they last came to the barn. I think the last time they came they whined so much (It’s too hot, I’m bored, All you do is go around in circles, I just don’t get it…) and then they’d complain about money…. that I finally stopped asking them to come.
In fact, I happen to know they had no motive in letting me ride other than to keep me happy because my mother flat out told me that horses would never get me anywhere and I’d never be any good at it anyway. And starting out with this idea in mind was not helped by a “friend”‘s mother coming up to me at my first show and saying “You were the girl on the palomino pony?” and as soon as I said yes (no duh, I was holding the pony’s reins in my hand at the time) she started in to what a terrible jumping round I had and gave me quite the lecture about how horrible a rider I was. Funny, I seem to recall that I beat her daughter when the ribbons were handed out.
I sucked at playing the piano and there was ALWAYS enough money for those lessons. We even BOUGHT a piano. New helmet and new paddock boots (of the cheap brands, mind you)? Always always always too expensive.
I wish my mother would have just saved the money for the stupid piano lessons (and guitar… and recorder… yes, I took recorder lessons… and let’s not forget Girl Scouts and their summer camps, which I hated anyway) and bought me a horse. Oh, and at the same time she could have stopped telling me how worthless and useless riding was, and my dad could have stopped telling me how boring it was. That would have been nice. When I was offered the chance to work in exchange for lessons I grabbed it so that they’d stop telling me how much they spent on lessons (mmhmm… One riding lesson a week versus my sisters golf lesson, clarinet, and ice skating lesson… Of course I was the most ‘expensive’ child… yeah right. I have and always will feel that they were trying to emphasize the ‘approved’ activities for me to do and get me to quit the one I loved). They even did make me quit several times when they said they couldn’t afford for me to ride anymore.
I’m fortunate; never did have any inclination to drink, try drugs, get into trouble. Didn’t get to spend any time with horses until after graduation , when I was working and could foot the bills.
But a friend of mine tells the story of a neighbor with 3 daughters, and she had told him with the first 2 that he should get them lessons and a horse cos it was a great way to keep them out of trouble. He didn’t, and both of them gave him hell. With the 3rd he did, and told my friend afterward that he really wished he had listened to her earlier.
Horses in particular — but also anything that takes dedication and responsibility — are a great thing for a kid to grow up with. Can prevent a lot of trouble!
About ten years ago there was a reform school for troubled girls in Sweden which was basically a harness racing stable. The girls looked after the horses and learned horse management. It was hugely successful, but sadly faltered after the director, Sven Forsling, retired. I just tried to find the e-book (which has been translated into English) which I highly recommend. Frossarbo Stables. I’m about to interview Forsling about it all.
Here’s the site, found it: http://www.thegirlandthehorse.com/
I do like a nice socialist welfare state
Doesn’t it say in the ‘article’ (Perez is hardly the Times Online), that her family DID cut her off? And that she was begging friends for money for her daughter? Hard line action with drug addicts does not always work. While I agree that giving people who seem to have lost their way another choice is a good thing, completely cutting them off does not always work. And some people are just hell bent on destroying themselves… it’s a very difficult subject and not one for knee jerk reactions really…
When I was in my teens (13-16), I was a suicidal mess. Everything you hear about when it comes to suicidal teens, was exactly who I was. I would cut myself all over my legs, stomach, feet, basically anywhere I could reach and that could easily be hidden when I went to school. I had a large pony who took care of me during those years. She was the one who I literally got up in the morning for and lived life for. I really do not think I would be here now if it were not for her and her constant need for attention, exercise, etc. She was absolutely perfect… until I out grew her both physically and riding ability wise. My parents decided to sell her on a whim, without my consent or thought. I died inside. I no longer cared to hide my cuts, and aimed to actually kill. It hit the roof when my parents left me with a babysitter who fell asleep on the couch watching TV. I sliced my wrists deep enough to pass out from blood loss and if my parents hadn’t of gotten home early and rushed me to the ER, I wouldn’t be here now. My parents tried everything – therapy, drugs, buying me lots of shiny electronics, nothing worked. I wouldn’t answer to any questions, and hardly ever talked. I grew to my current height of 5’4″, and weighed about low 80s from a lack of appetite.
That’s when my parents buckled down and bought me the horse that literally, saved my life. His name was(is) affectionally nicknamed Andy. He was too much horse for medium-beginner me, and had an attitude to boot. He would let me cry myself hoarse into his mane and give me horse hugs, yet kick my butt if I rode him wrong and let me know that he didn’t appreciate me yanking on his mouth if I didn’t see the right jumping distance. He kept me busy, always guessing what he would test me on next, and how to improve myself. And through him I improved not only my riding, but who I am as a person as well. By the end of the day, I was too tired to do anything other than eat, some homework and then crash on the bed. I grew healthier and made friends at the barn. I competed, and while I didn’t do so well, my vision of myself improved.
I eventually had to sell Andy, and that really broke my heart. I would love to eventually buy him back, but I know that isn’t going to happen because the lady who bought him from me already said he has a forever home with her, and when I do see him, he’s fat, sleek, healthy and happy.
I never got into drugs or alcohol, I had barn friends who either OD’ed, or got into car accidents while under the influence and killed themselves or someone else. I celebrated my 21st birthday a couple months ago.. Guess who was the DD? Lol.
It’s amazing, I’d look at Casey Johnson and just think,”She has it all.” But, anytime I see conspicuous consumption, now, I think of it in terms of how that money could help so many people who are really hurting out there, how many homeless animals could be saved, etc. I’ve found that you really need some purpose in your life.. When you are entitled and just kind of floating, you’re screwed. Beauty and celebrity fade. As you age, your priorities seem to change, it seems. Who knows? Maybe this woman was happy..I’m not betting on it, though. JMO… I have my animals, and give money to charity, anytime I’m able. I do volunteer work, whenever I can. I only wish that I could do more. Easing suffering, even in some small way, makes me feel better about myself..
Many years ago, my dad was on the police board of the city where we lived. The police chief would always ask my dad how we kids were. “Peg is doing this, Bill is doing that, and Laurie, well, she’s still into horses.” The chief told him to NEVER complain about that. He said that a kid who was really into horses, and having to do the work themselves, earn the money, etc., would NEVER be in trouble with the law because they would be too busy to get into trouble. They’d also do well in school. My parents even made me buy my own blue jeans and boots from 7th grade on, and never contributed a penny towards my horse activities. I didn’t actually own my own horse until after I was out of college, but I was always involved with them somehow, running stables at a summer camp, working at the home farm of a racing stable, etc. And I never got in trouble with the law, and did well in school. There’s a lot to be said for that.
Though I agree with the original post some of the assumptions here have rather irritated me. I’m 17, I dye my hair, I have unusual piercings in my ears, I have boyfriends and I’ve only been riding for the last 2 months. Despite this, I am a nice person, have self-confidence, don’t drink, don’t do drugs, don’t sleep with random boys, I’m in voluntary full time education and will be going to university next year to study Geological Hazards and I hold a part time job. My parents couldn’t afford horses but they brought me up with an idea of curtesy and the idea I was worth something. I didn’t need horses to become a decent person or ‘save me’ from drink and drugs as I had the will power as many of my friends do, to say ‘no’. Just because I have piercings and different colour hair it doesn’t stop me being a decent person. This is not in response to anyone in particular but it does annoy me when people stereotype others just because they showed some individuality and happen to be young.
I agree. Appearance doesn’t dictate behavior or common sense. I went to school with girls who looked like preachers’ daughters who wound up pregnant and cross-addicted by age 16, and I’ve had friends whose hair was a different color every time I saw them who didn’t drink, smoke or do a single thing wrong.
It’s not that all punks, for example, are on drugs, it’s just that a lot of punks go to raves and a lot of drugs are at raves, you know? Don’t feel bad, it’s kind of like being a cat rescuer – the assumption is that you’re a few fries short of a happy meal and you’re guilty until proven innocent!
I agree also. I have known a lot of people who appear a little “rough around the edges” who I don’t recall ever hearing them so much as say a cuss word, much less get strung out on dope or drinks. In my opinion, it’s the one in the pig tails and pleated skirt and cross around her neck that you want to keep an eye on!
BTW when I was in high school I used this farrier for a while who did pretty perfect work. He had black hair, sleeveless shirt to reveal many tattoos, facial piercings, etc. I barely noticed because I don’t care about that stuff, but at one point it came up in conversation and he told me that he knew that his appearance might cost him business, but that would force him to work that much harder so that people would judge him on his work, not his looks.
I got my first tattoo when I was 16… now at 22 I have eight. the multicoloured hair and facial piercings, along with dog collars and such were major parts of my teen years. Although a lot of people will judge you based on your outward appearance, your horse never will, and neither will the people you actually want to share your life with.
Fugly, you are so right! If only people who are so useless didn’t get the money and those that would do good with it had it instead. However, the old saying that money is the root of all evil is true. The money enabled that young woman to live an utterly useless and insignificant life for a short time.
However, there are those that do good with their money, Bill Gates and his wife, Warren Buffet, some of the Rockfellers,and many others, Oprah and a lot of movie stars and performers also give lots of money to help good causes.
I saw the article about the Johnson and Johnson “heiress” yesterday. What a sad thing that the only adjectives used about you when you die are heiress and socialite. Both descriptions bring to mind useless and wasted lives.
I know that there are people who inherit money and are socialites that also do good in this world BUT most of the time the stories we read are tragic tales of youth misspent, drugs and alcohol excess.
People like Lindsey Lohan who have made their own money are also wasted lives; just because you earned the money does not save you from stupidity and excess.
I remember the ridiculous video of Paris Hilton leaving the jail clutching a bible! She threw her little fit and got out of jail. Then she mouthed promises of doing good and helping others. Just as soon as she got out and was free she went back to her partying and wasted life.
When I was younger, I knew a girl who was lucky enough to be born to wealthy and nice parents. She was a horse lover and so they indulged her every whim by buying a huge farm stocked with horses for her. Instead of enjoying the fantastic life that she was given she turned to drugs and ended up living with a drug dealer. She was found dead of an overdose before she was eighteen. WHAT A WASTE.
I never understood people like that. She had everything that I would have given my right arm for when I was a teenager. I had to work cleaning out stalls in order to even ride a horse at a local stable. Eventually I learned enough to become a riding instructor and to earn board for a horse of my own. Horses were a wonderful outlet for me when I was a teenager.
I learned so much about self sufficiency and self motivation by having to earn my horse and his board. Of course, the horse himself added so much to my life. Through horses I made some of the best friends of my life. Through horses I had some of the most exciting experiences of my life. Horses themselves are magnificent and fascinating creatures.
I cannot say enough about the excellent lessons that can be learned around horses. I wish that every young boy or girl that is “horse crazy” would get their chance to work with horses, it is a wonderful life!
i was the ignored second child born to two alcoholic parents. i truly believe that they let me take riding lessons just to give me something to do on saturday afternoons. that was in 1958. we lived in chicago and they let my older brother drive me out to the south suburbs to ride. i was the typical horse-crazy kid. if i wasn’t riding, reading, or dreaming about horses, i was being a horse! my parents never came to see me ride, never asked me about it, never talked with me about it, period. well, actually, they never talked to me about anything!
i truly believe that horses have molded me into the responsible, loving, spiritual person i am today. i raised my son around horses, cats, dogs and birds. today he is a 30 year old married father of one. a wonderful man who is compasionate, caring and loving. his sense of humor was embellished by taking care of and enjoying the animals we were priviledged to have in our lives. my hubby is my soulmate who loves cats, likes dogs and horses. what more could i ask for from life? and it is all due to horses being there for me for the last 51 years. they are life’s greatest joy, next to my family and my god.
that poor johnson girl was to be pitied. an empty life followed by a lonely death….. all by the age of 30. how sad. and, yes, fugs, just think of all the good we could do with even a fracture of her wealth. how many of our beloved horses we could help…..
I think anyone, especially one in the throes of teen angst and hormones, would benefit from horses. Any time you take care of another (regardless of species) and get “outside yourself,” you become a better person. What I see happen (after 35 years of teaching public school) is that when youngsters are involved with horses and hit the teen years, often their interest in the horses wanes and then parents have to learn to rechannel THEIR efforts to keep the kids from being influenced by not-so-savory things.
If anyone watches the series “Solved” on the Investigation Discovery (ID) channel, there is a story — the segment is called “Dark Side” — about a young woman named Kelly Bullwinkle. She was 18 years old and lived in Redlands, California. She was a member of my dressage chapter. She got involved with some of her peers who were into the Goth “lifestyle.” Kelly had a horse, Banner, and rode dressage. Her trainer tried very hard to influence her AWAY from the “friends” and more to the horses. It appeared to be working and then Kelly disappeared.
Her body was found a few weeks later in an area of orange groves, a place called San Timoteo Canyon. The “friend” who had led one of the searches for her and who had erected a monument to her was arrested for murder. She is now serving a life term. The murder was a “joke gone bad.” There was a boy involved. The joke was to threaten to kill Kelly (because she was not leaving the boy alone and the girl was jealous). The boy shot and wounded Kelly, but instead of calling for help, the girl took the gun and put Kelly “out of her misery” because she “didn’t want to see her suffer.” (I am appalled at this, still, and on the show one of the investigating officers is crying at the end. He said it will always affect him, the cold-blooded way that monster spoke of her “act of kindness”).
The boy was tried and is serving a lesser term because Kelly’s mother could not go through another trial. Bless her heart.
Sometimes horses cannot fix everything. I wish it were so.
I think that horses are an addiction all on their own… a great addiction though (says the addict)
I do believe that horses not only kept me out of trouble but also helped me develop many life skills. I did not have my own horse and I still don’t, but lessons and leasing made me hesitant to spend time or money on anything else. Why would I go buy drugs when that money could be used for more riding time or riding gear? Even now in university my weekly riding lesson money is top priority. As a shy person riding also gave me a great deal of self-confidence, helped me get out of my shell, and taught me about responsibility.
I can’t say horses kept me out of trouble, after all, debt is trouble!! I was at the “stables” (Translation: Barn) from age 12, all weekend, every weekend, and had a six mile bike ride to get there, too (aah the days when it was safe to let a child ride her bike, alone, down country lanes and across deserted commons where the Gypsies camped) I was never aware of “popular” “unpopular” at school as I just did not inhabit their world…..not sure what happened, I was a weird kid, give me ONE person that I got on with and I was happy as Larry, but also leave me completely alone and I was equally happy. Stopped working at the stables at age 15 when I realised that if I saved all my money I could buy a pony in a year. Discussed it with my parents who said OK, they would stand guarantor for any Vets bills, but anything else was up to me.
It took me a year of working w/ends and any other times I could get, but I did it, so I guess that was keeping me out of trouble?? After that I had not time for any friends that were not directly associated with the place I kept my pony.
Never did have a Vet bill, saved up enough to buy another to break and sell, and I was away.
Since that day I have never, ever had a spare penny, not even when I was getting a pretty good pay check at the end of the month, every penny went on the horses, which now number 22.
Partners have come and gone, I am still weird, and the dogs and the horses are still here.
Keeping horses is and obsession and a passion, if you can ignite that, tap into it, it consumes all else.
That is why these “Last Chance” wagon trains, and mustang training places WORK.
Dogs too, getting young offenders to train assistance dogs, whoever thought that up deserves a medal!!
Debt is trouble but you can work your way out of debt – it beats overdosing on drugs or doing any kind of other permanent damage to yourself (or others, in the case of those who drink and drive!)
I was also abused by my stepfather as a child; I had no self esteem and was far from being popular. Kids could find just about anything about me to pick on. I was overweight and shy. I hated school and had very few “friends”. I desperately wanted a horse for as long as I can remember. I too asked my mom if we could put a horse in our backyard (3/4 acre) in a suburban neighborhood and I could feed my horse out of my bedroom window (sounded logical to me!!) I begged and begged for a horse for Christmas, I would never want anything else EVER!!
Finally, I began taking riding lessons in 1982 and then found Mego in a want advertisement. She belonged to someone I went to school with, a very popular girl of course. She was afraid of Mego, who she said that if she misbehaved in the morning, she would have her “trainer” get after her in the afternoon…um yeah. She was kept in a very dark stall in the barn also.
I was VERY green and only rode Mego around the ring a couple times at the trot and said “I want her”…This was a learning experience for me…this mare was 6 years old and probably only green broke at best. I was so desperate for my own horse it didn’t matter. It was a long road for us and only after 6 months of having her she got strangles. She almost died on me. After an entire summer of caring for her myself (I boarded her) we finally began getting along. When I found that I could get her, I sold bubblegum at school for about 4 months, bringing home sometimes $50 per week!! I am not sure how I got away with that but I did. Mego officially became mine on Christmas Day 1982, a day I will never forget, ever.
That day I found out that every horse isn’t like what you see on TV! Mego would kick, buck, strike and squeal at anyone who touched her…or tried to! I often wonder why she didn’t do any of that crazy stuff when I went to see her? Many people told me to get rid of her and at one point I was almost ready to do just that. Thankfully my mom didn’t let me give up. I had her for 18 years and was the best horse I have every owned. She did keep me out of trouble; I ended up working at my boarding stable so I could keep her, then also my Paint gelding Cody. I worked for the resident Saddlebred trainer also and then moved with her when she left that farm. Then I worked for a Paint horse trainer for a couple of months before moving to Florida. I was always way too tired to do anything after a full day of working with the horses. After coming here I worked for a few TB farms until I hurt my back…now I am a Secretary. I am glad to have a job, but I really miss the horses.
Horses have taught me so much responsibility. I have had to work outside in so many different kinds of weather. I was originally from Massachusetts so winter was tough. I would be at the barn from 6am to sometimes 10pm and I had to keep moving to stay warm. I owe my life now to my horses. I still have my old Paint gelding, he is 26 this year and I will have had him for 25 years on March 23rd. I lost Mego to colic in 2000.
Kids now days think they have it hard if they have to work bagging groceries or working at a fast food restaurant…they don’t know what REAL work is and if they learned they would be better off!
Oh, and to this day it is still hard for me to decide what I want for Christmas!! I usually tell my kids that I already have my horses so I usually can’t think of anything! They get mad at me when I tell them that!! LOL!
Great thread. At a point when I was wondering why the heck I work 70+ hours per week, with no pay to run Square Peg. Reading this helps me think about the 50 or so kids and volunteers that visit the ranch every week. Everyone at our place cleans stalls, scrubs tack, takes home stinky horse laundry. Every one of them could be somewhere else and yet chooses to be with the horses. I went back to re-write a blog post that I’d published a few years back about a kid that slipped through the cracks.
http://www.squarepegfoundation.org/blog/2010/01/reprint-lost-girls/
Horses and girls – pretty strong stuff.
Peace out.
I had a friend like that in high school. I have never found a trace of her, not on Facebook, Google, anywhere that you would expect to be able to track down an old friend. She had no self-esteem, a terrible family, and was shoplifting and getting into trouble early. I will always wonder what became of her.
You guys are all being sexist!
(Yes, I realize, most of the people here are probably female).
But what about the benefit of horses for *boys*. When I think about what many of the teenage males around here are like…smoking, drugs, violence. Gangs. Kids (especially black ones…not a racist comment, but that seems to be the way it is) getting shot at the age of 16 or 17.
Then I think about Zach. Fifteen years old, more mature than many thirty year old men, respectful to everyone, never showing any expression other than a smile. And that kid is *brilliant*. He’s training a mare I tried to ride and handed back to him with a ‘good luck’….and doing a fantastic job with her. He knows not to beat a horse…which means that when the time comes he’ll know not to beat a wife. I have met very few young men that age who truly treat women with appropriate respect, without putting them on pedestals, because he’s used to working for and learning from women. He’s a kid I’m hoping will go do equine studies and become a trainer or a vet. Heck, if he stays as small as he is, maybe we’ll see him on a thousand pounds of Thoroughbred going down the stretch some day. He’s very talented, but he is also the nicest kid imaginable.
It’s not just your daughters who can be helped by horses
.
This is absolutely true, of course, but I have yet to see a teenage boy become pregnant…..
OK, OK, I shall stop being fecetious now, I promise.
The majority of the kids on the dog trining courses at Juvy are boys, btw……..
I love my dad, he’s such a blast!
When I was about 8, I worked at a pony farm that was down a trail behind our house, and then, on my 11th birthday, I wandered out to the backyard and said, “Why in hell is there a fence there?”, turned and looked at my grinning parents who were holding a palomino, all saddled up and ready to go. Becky. She got me through ‘those’ teenaged years, and I pretty much stayed out of my family’s hair with the exception of the occasional snit.
When I was older and my dad had remarried, the stepdaughter was about 16 or so and had gotten preggo, I got lippy about it and he snarled, “Well I didn’t get her a goddamned horse soon enough!!”
I mention this type of thing all the time. My sister and I are radically different people, and she’s been in trouble all her life. I strongly believe that if she had had something as important as horses to keep her in line, she would have turned out differently. None of my friends did drugs or drank in school; we didn’t fail classes or skip school or mouth off to adults. I credit horses with that phenomenon.
I definitely would have been better off having horses to occupy my time growing up. That did not happen, though so I am just scarred for life by the memories (horse deprivation, idle wasted youth). Have to say they are great therapy after a “big” blow up of a day yesterday at the office (snark)!!!!!
I totally agree that horses have the magic ability to keep young people out of trouble. I’m reminded of that daily when I go to the TBFriends website and Joe talks about all the young girls floating around his place. It warms my heart. Growing up, our family didn’t have much money but we live in a rural area on some acreage and my Mom is a horse nut so we always had horses. We didn’t get lessons or fancy equipment but we got to ride every day. Horses give me peace and they keep me sane. My Mother raised 9 children. There isn’t a single one of us that got into drugs and every one of us turned into a hard-working, responsible adult. With the exception of my brother, every single one of us still has horses. My brother still rides. He just has to borrow a horse from one the sisters.
lol
I don’t think it was so much the horses as having a focus during a nasty time of my life. Middle school was horrible and high school not much better. Getting the horse was a goal, caring for her and riding her and becoming a better rider, more goals. I had moderately supportive parents, I think they were really trying to help me become less shy, so the more I did on my own the better, and I was painfully shy. Actually cold calling the guy who was selling my mare and making the arrangements to come try her out was so out of character for me at the time! I think my mother was totally shocked. Of course I could have used more financial support but again, letting me figure out budgeting on my own. It would have been totally different if I’d been sent to a barn for lessons – HATED that – loved the lessons, scared to death of the other kids and being laughed at or talked about behind my back (my perception as a painfully shy kid). Still got into some trouble – it was the early ’70′s after all, but always had that horse to ground me. Goals, dedication, focus, horses can provide these and they really keep a kid out of trouble.
With two alcoholic parents, one with a history of severe depression, it’s been repeated to me frequently that it is amazing how I’ve turned out so “normal”. I started riding when I was 9, doing lessons at a local barn once a week. As soon as my older sister got her license, we escaped to the barn on the weekends too, where any extra work around the barn would net us a practice ride on a school horse. Even though I wasn’t really popular at school, at the barn I always had friends. It didn’t matter that they were in a different income bracket than me, because we all had something in common that we could not live without! When I managed to secure a scholarship to study abroad in Germany for a year when I was 15, one the the requirements was that I be able to ride while I was there. Even dealing with host family issues, and studying Chemistry in a language I was not at all comfortable in was manageable, as I was able to go down to my pony’s field in the evening and cry to him if I had a bad day, or made a fool of myself at school! And again, even language barriers couldn’t keep me from making friends with other riders who “got” why I rode, and were there for me when it seemed like I was on my own, halfway around the world from my family. Even though I have hung out with a lot of people that could be thought of as being bad influences, my love of horses (and lack of money thanks to Maddy’s massages, ThinLine saddle pads, and shows) has really kept me from following down that path. I know I’m not the only one who has managed to keep their head, even when no one else seems to give a damn, just by going down to the barn, wrapping their arms around their favourite horse’s neck, and inhaling their scent… which I’m pretty sure is more intoxicating than the most addictive drug out there!
It’s great to hear about the way horses touch all of our lives
Like so many people here, I was a teenager that was headed down the wrong path. I never got to be out of control, but only because my parents recognized what was happening and got me back into horses. I had ridden as a child and loved it…horses were my whole world. I even put My Little Ponies in my dollhouse. But at 13 I quit riding after a terrifying jumping accident. At 17, I started riding again, and it changed my life. I had decided I wasn’t going to college, but after being with the horses cleared my vision, I changed my mind. My parents never bought me a horse, but they supported my decision to attend an equestrian university, and riding through college kept me out of the parties (who has time to party all night when you have 3 stalls to clean and a riding test at 7am?). I adopted a OTTB when I was 23, and when I lost her to colic, I adopted a nurse mare foal because there are so many great horses out there that need someone to love them. I give back to them as much as I can. I volunteer at a local barn that has a small rescue program and a volunteer-to-ride program. Our volunteers are, for the most part, teenagers who wouldn’t have the opportunity to ride if not for this program. So thank goodness for our four-legged friends!
Horses rescued my son. He has always had problems with learning disabilities, dyslexia, social skills, ADHD etc. He’s always been in special classes due to his learning ability and social problems. I think that helped him feel more isolated from the other students. Team sports never worked out for him either, he either clashed with other players or was in his own world.
When we finally moved to the country, we got into horses, he was afraid of them at first and would cry. Sent him to a camp that had horses 2 years in a row, second year a light must have clicked on. He came home a showed us how he could ride our old morgan X and he galloped up and down the paddock. He then said he wanted lessons to learn how to jump, he was 11 yrs old then and been riding ever since, he’s 16 now.
The first horse i bought him was a mistake, and eventually we sold him. I then bought him a young Trakehner, the horse had not been handled much, but him and my son instantly liked each other. The only thing my son was disappointed with was that he had to wait almost 2 years before we could have the new horse trained under saddle. The horse was 4 1/2 years old when we had him started (just this fall).
When he finally got to ride him for the first time, his words were “I feel like a million bucks”. the bond between him and this horse is amazing, when my son feels low he wil go to his horse who usually smothers him in kisses. and when they ride together, its hard to believe the horse is so young.
He has finally got something that he is GOOD at without even trying, riding horses always came natural to him and they liked him back. During his riding he has decided that one day he would like to compete and maybe go to the Olympics. He also wants to go to college WITH his horse as well as travel to Europe for his riding, hopefully with his horse.
I remember one time one evening watching the news about a gang of boys doing a shooting at about the same time my son was having a lesson, and saying to myself, ‘i know what my boy was doing and it wasnt anything illegal’.
If it wasnt for horses, things could have been much worse for him overall.
Sorry for the long post.
wish I could get my son to ride horses. He has Asperger’s and PANDAS and I think hippotherapy would be great for him. He won’t even get near my own horse….who is very fun and sweet. He’s 19 and currently at a school getting help with his disabilities…..maybe I should push him a little harder on the horse thing. I think he’d really like it if I could just get him near a horse!
Keep trying!! The self esteem part of riding and jumping for my son is AMAZING where before it was very low. When he rides there is always a huge grin plastered to his face! My son was tested for everything, including aspbergers…school is hard for him. But he has a gift with horses. he also wants to have his own stable where he can coach and train horses. I use to worry about a career for him that he could do, but not anymore.
I do not want to replace this topic because it’s great and I know there are many more stories to tell, but for today’s useless stallion ad, check out these…what are they, TARPans?
http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/grd/1539266656.html
I’m going to call him. I’ve always wanted a a bay and blue paint.
lol, what an ingenious way to cover up conformation faults! This is probably the best case of “but at least he’s got a great personality!” ever.
One is soooo special, they are keeping it under wraps!
I tried to convince my dad the best way to keep me from getting a boyfriend was to get me a horse. This very logical argument fell on deaf ears.
I will say that during High School I didn’t ride as much as I did before high school, mainly due a lack of close by quality riding stables is the Northern Virginia area. But as soon as I graduated from high school, I got a job, saved all my paychecks and bought myself a horse.
My life after that was basically the following: Get up care for my horse (I was partial boarding where you had to muck stalls and feed), ride, come home take a shower, go to work, go to class, hang out with my boyfriend (see Dad, if only I had gotten a horse sooner!), go to bed… lather rinse repeat.
Buying a horse was one of the best decisions I ever made, that and moving to Florida. Having a horse meant I needed a job so I could pay board. I had a job throughout college and I actually got part time jobs in my field of study. So when I graduated I all this experience in my field and was able to start working for myself right out of college. If I hadn’t had the horse, I probably wouldn’t have been as motivated to work and I might not have been able to start my own business and be where I am now. My mother used to say, if I hadn’t bought the horse, look how much money you would have been able to save. But truth it, I probably wouldn’t have bothered to work so much just save it all. Having the horse was the reason for working.
I was a pretty level-headed kid in school, without horses. (I rode when I was a child but stopped when I had back surgery at 13.) All that level-headedness flew out the window, though, when I left school and moved out with a boyfriend. The relationship turned out abusive and I got out of it two later (luckily with a cat, not a baby!), but still couldn’t seem to find the drive to do anything with my life. I had no energy left.
All that changed when my uncle, who remembered my horse-crazy youth, introduced me to a therapeutic riding stable. Volunteering there was just as therapeutic as riding there would be! It got me started down the path I’m currently on–in school for equine management, with an eye towards equine therapy in the future!
If you or someone you know is going through a tough time, but can’t afford a horse or lessons (and let’s face it–it’s expensive!) I’d suggest finding a therapeutic stable or rehab facility and volunteering! You’ll benefit along with the rest of your community.
I raised my daughter with horses. In order to do it I became a trainer. I wouldn’t trade a minute of it.
I’ve struggled with depression since I was 14 (20 now), and ended up with some bizarre health problems for several of my teenage years. I was lucky enough to be able to continue taking weekly lessons from age 12 to 18.. and it was the one place where I was healthy. Put me on a horse, and I could talk, breathe freely, whatever the issues were they were rapidly solved in the presence of horses. Did they come back after I got off? Sure. But the hour a week was well worth it, nevermind all the good that being near horses did my mental state! I’m not in a position at school where I can ride during the year – but I’m looking at fixing that next year, and as many others have said it’s driven my decisions. Save money to buy a car to be able to get myself to the barn, for example (my current project!). I got my drivers license as soon as possible to drive myself to the horsey summer camps I wanted to work at during the summer. Such a blessing.
On a different note – I’ve recently overheard that a girl that rides in another lesson at the barn is mentally challenged, still on an elementary school level. I’ve watched her ride on and off for several years and never noticed anything – she’s riding competently in a walk-trot-canter lesson and doing just fine. She’s happy doing it, and maybe she’s restricted in her school life or whatnot, but it’s not holding her back at all with the horses!
All snark aside, I’m thinking that her problem wasn’t as much with money going up her nose as other folks would think – she was a sufferer of juvenile onset diabetes and might have died of complications of that, instead.
I’m not lucky enough to have a horse yet but when I was a kid working 30 hours a week and band practice kept me out of trouble.
I was a good kid, an only child and spoiled rotten. (except for the pony I asked for every year for my birthday, from 6 until about age 12, then it was a horse). My parents are NOT horse people, but let me take lessons, I still remember not being able to canter or jump the fancy “advanced” school pony in my first lesson on it, because my trainer talked to my dad and he told her my math grades were awful. Guess what got better by the next lesson? They also leased and finally gave in and bought me one. I must admit the horses did keep me out of trouble that my friends that didn’t ride always seemed to be in.
Fast forward, some twenty plus years later, I finally have one of my own again after years of mooching rides and riding all the green projects. My husband is great, although he’ll never ride like I do, he does make a great groom. He knows it makes me happy and alot easier to live with!. I’m a lucky girl, all these stories make me want to skip work for the rest of the day and go ride
My horses saved my life, over and over. From keeping me out of trouble as a kid, to providing me a career eventually and being my therapy. I wish more troubled kids, not just disabled, had a chance to work with horses. It really can change a life even if you don’t go on to making it a career. I was truly blessed to have a family that was `horsey’ and to grow up having one..or two…
I just saw this on the web:
Just in case my HTML didn’t work:
Vt. farm that sells horses for slaughter spurs controversy
(http://www.wcax.com/global/story.asp?s=11773987)
What’s interesting about this place getting shut down is that they didn’t get shut down for selling the horses to slaughter they got shut down b/c THEY SOLD HORSES TO A RESCUE! Something about how horses sold for slaughter aren’t required to be tested for certain diseases but horses sold to private owners are.
Anyways, wanted to bring it to everyone’s attention b/c it make impact their dealings with kill buyers.
Actually, as awful as it is that they’re not being shut down for selling their horses to slaughter, they’re not being shut down for selling the horses to a rescue, either. They’re being shut down and fined because they didn’t test the horses for equine infectious anemia, which isn’t required when a horse is being used for slaughter, but is required for everything else. On the bright side, at least they’re getting shut down.
Correcting my typo, thinking ahead of my typing fingers
)
**Anyways, wanted to bring it to everyone’s attention b/c it MAY impact their dealings with kill buyers.
I had a good time visiting. We definitely need to do it more often. Not too many people will tolerate me complaining about the stepkids. Everyone just expects me to be “mommy” to them.
Did Lace eat his blanket yet?
I’m going to email you pics of Ginger…maybe you can figure out what color she is!
Horses definitely kept me out out trouble. So did my dogs and cats. They teach you responsibility and unconditional love. When I would meet a guy they would have to pass the Shadow test. If they could not understand that Shadow (wonderful QH) was the most important thing in my life then they could get out. When I met my husband, Shadow hated him and he disliked Shadow. They were both jealous of the other. Thankfully they learned that I could have enough love for both. My husband understands my horse habit and lets me enjoy it. If he ever complains I tell them they were here before you and you knew what you were getting into. It shuts him up.
People would come by the house and see all of my ribbons and comment to my mom on how expensive that must have been. Her only response was, yes but it kept her out of trouble.
When I had three debilitating back injuries in less than a years time the pain, lack of sleep and stress left me in a slump of depression. I wouldn’t go out, see anyone or do anything, I gained weight and was an emotional wreck. It took a horse to give me a reason to get dressed and leave the house again. I was too afraid to ride, but just brushing and spending time with him got me interested in life again. Today I’m 20 pounds lighter and taking riding lessons. I’m even thinking of showing this summer for the first time. I’m working again, I go to see friends and I signed up for a rock climbing course. I’m still in pain more than two years later, but I don’t let that stop me from living my life.
I’ve always been honest with her. I refuse to lie to her. Unfortunately, when people try to poison the minds of others, it’s hard for that person to see what the truth is and what isn’t. All I can try to do is be there when she finally realizes that I’m not the evil stepmother and that I was telling the truth all along.
She has the typical teenager attitude that we don’t understand what she’s going through because we’re “old”, that we’ve never been teenagers and facing the same issues. Plus she was finally put into school after a 5 year absence (mother pulled them out to homeschool), which we were the driving force in the change. So she’s struggling with getting back into the “real world”.
Wasn’t Casey Johnson into show jumping or something?
I guess I was a trouble magnet with or without horses. It was a joke in my circle about how our parents thought having horses would keep us out of trouble. I’m not saying I did all this stuff, but from the suburban boarding stable to the racing stables I where I worked, I saw some hard core stuff – stuff that freaked me out. Hard drugs and a lot of people with eating disorders who drank a lot. I had more than the occasional beer in the tack room but I didn’t get hard core. Or knocked up. So, you know, I got that going for me.
I don’t know if anyone even reads my comments
, however…
I was sexually abused since I was a toddler by my grandfather, my mother left when I was 5 and my father, disabled brother and I moved away. My mom told me, when i was seven, that she didn’t want to and that she’d been forced into having me, which doesn’t surprise me considering who my dad is. These things and others left me with low, low self esteem and by the time I was twelve I had attemted suicide seven times. Never got super close, but it did get me addicted to self injury at the age of ten.
All through this time, up until i was 13, I was praised as intelligent, coping well and full of self-confidence. Meanwhile, I was still carted away to my grandparent’s every weekend, because nobody believed me anough to care. At this same time I discovered that both my parents are chronic stoners, like my fathersmokes about 16 joints/day. My mother is almost as bad and is now perpetuating rumours EVERYWHERE about me, and she only sees me once per year.
I always, always wanted a horse. A few free ones popped up, I took them, rehomed two of them and kept the last. Nick of time save really, they were going to call the dealer the next day. I was 14, had no job, but KNEW i HAD to have him. That’s him in my avatar picture. He’s a real brat.
A year later, yes, I’m 15, I’m in the process of moving out to get away from all the drugs, juggling school and a part time job, a boy friend and of course, riding. I feel bad about moving because I’m leaving my brother and I’ve always acted as problem solver for him (though he can look after himself). However, both my bf and I are trying to go in opposite directions from our parents. as his father doesn’t hesitate around drugs either, and we need to get out. I know I will be snarked on for moving out young but I want to go in the right direction and the local authorities won’t do anything about the situation.
Short in short, I moved my horse closer to me in may. He’s a handful on the best of days. I was told he was nine when i got him but I doubt it because of how much he’s grown. I’ve gone from cutting 3-4 times per day to only have cut thrice in the past 10 months, and not at all in the past 7.
Yes, the path I am setting for myself will undoubtedly be harder than having had supportive parents in good financials straights, but I want to end up better than Where my parents went, and I think I’m going the right way.
Best of wishes to you. I haven’t been through stuff as tough as that, but it sounds sensible to get some distance between you and your parents. I never realized how hard it was to cope with my father until I went away to college and didn’t have to deal with him as often – such a big relief! I’m glad the cutting is easing up for you. It’s damn dangerous – as you’ve probably discovered by now, it’s every bit as addictive as the stuff your parents get into. I’ve been free for four years, and am more proud of it than of anything else I’ve done.
You’re going to come out as one tough chica. Hang in there, I’m rooting for you.
Yes, it is addictive, and as you pointed out, damn dangerous, and I think that part of the reason I’ve been so moody lately is because of it’s own little special type of withdrawal. It amazes me how people choose to turn such a blind eye to self injury, saying it’s gross, wierd, and overall socially outing you, whereas drugs are for the most part socially accepted. That just makes no sense to me.
True, trying to grow up on your own at such a young age isn’t the greatest, but it sounds infinitely better than a childhood full of perverts and clueless druggie parents. I hope you now have some older friends in your life (teachers? horse friends?) who you can seek out to call on for a sense of direction when you ask. I hope your BF is close to your age, not an older person who is telling you what he thinks you want to hear.
Good for you to stop cutting. That was all about verifying the worthlessness lessons taught to you by a bunch of pathetic, sad people, which you now know, were all lies.
It sucks to have to cut people out of our lives, especially when they are family. And leave behind people we love (like your brother), just because of the harm done by the sad people around them. But you have to, for now.
Surround yourself with things you know are good for you (people, even if you’re uncomfortable, and of course, horses!) Later, you will be able to save the people who deserve it. Later, not now, you will maybe have kids and be able to give them the kind of childhood you know is right.
Stay strong, because 10 years from now you will have reason to be proud of what life has taught you, and you will be one of those people we all look to and admire.
Thanks for the support. To ease your concerns, I do have some adult friends whom i can trust and confide in. one is an old tteacher of mine who I became close to and she probably saved my life, and another being the person i board my horse with, who is just plain amazing.
And yes, my boyfriend is near my age. He is only three years older and we match well.
Best wishes.
Wow, you have a very moving story. Best of luck to you in living your life the way you choose to. It certainly can be done. Stay in school — that’s your ticket to future success. You go girl!
Dear Aspin,
It sounds like you have been given a tough hand of cards to play. It also sounds like you have made some decisions to take control of your life. Because you have posted this on a forum, I’ll take the liberty of giving you some unsolicited advice.
Find an adult or two that you can trust and talk to. There are counselors at school who are paid to help in these situations. There are resources, finances and more for kids in your situation. There is more help than you know and while you might not like everything they say, they have a perspective of a larger understanding of the world than you do in your 15 years. I speak from some experience. Feel free to email me privately if I can help joell at squarepegfoundation dot org
Best of luck.
I’ll certainly e-mail you. I might be able to better explain the situation, and maybe the complicatiions will show through more thoroughly. Thanks for putting the effort into someone you’ve never met.
I’ve been horse-crazy ever since I can remember. I grew up in the suburbs and there was no room for a horse. The nearest boarding barn was at least 10 miles away and I couldn’t drive. My parents were awesome, though and I had a great home life. They paid for music lessons for my sister and I, and during my high school years, the horse bug hibernated. Then, I transferred to a college my sophomore year, from Minnesota to Texas. And, that Texas university had a Riding Association! The horse addition/fever/bug–whatever you want to call it—came back in full force! I rode 4-5 days a week during my college years and when I was a senior, my Dad gave me $500 and told me to buy a horse with it. I found a green broke cutting-bred QH named Superbar Sonny. He cost me $600 and he was the most awesome little gelding! I trained him with help from an experienced friend and he would do anything for me. I made some of my best friends in college in that riding club, and 20 years later, we’re all still friends. Now, I live on a 24-acre ranch in central Texas and have three horses of my own. Sadly, I sold Sonny after I graduated from college.
I have two young children, a 7 yr old boy who doesn’t really care to ride, and a 3 yr old girl, who is showing signs of being horse-crazy like I was. Although I had an idyllic childhood and wonderful parents, I still, TO THIS DAY, regret that my parents never got me a horse, or at the very least, let me take riding lessons. As an adult, I’ve had to pay for everything myself (and it’s so expensive!) And, I’m years behind in riding ability than those who had horses as children.
The best present my parents ever gave me? Besides Dad giving me money to buy the horse, my very next birthday they bought me a leather western saddle. I cried. Do you know what’s interesting? If they would have bought me a horse when I was a kid, they never would have had to buy me another Christmas or birthday present for the rest of my life!!
I’m reserving judgment here, and we shouldn’t rush to stone her and her family so fast — she had diabetes, and if one parties too hard and sleeps too much (like she was), that can take care of you pretty fast if you’re diabetic. Also, I have read in an article that her parents DID cut her off recently in a last-ditch effort to get her to straighten out, and she was in big debt when she died.
Other-people’s horses lit up my life enough to see how badly ‘lit’ I was on my daily doses of too-much-wine. I credit my becoming involved with horses, at the TENDER age of about 43, to my realizing that I needed to get up off my hatted-ass and take responsibility for myself instead of numbing myself down with alcohol. My gelding came into this world about the time I made it to my first AA meeting — and even if it does sound cheesy, I believe there’s a connection to be made, there.
Even educated, professional ‘grown ups’ can be hauled out of bad places by the steady presence of a horse (and all the required work, the requisite dedication) SO, it’s not just the younguns whose lives are steered in a ‘right-er’ direction by horses!
Kids need something to focus on, horses are truly a great focus. Let’s face it, if you place a group of adults together, eventually with nothing to do they will do stupid things. Everyone is searching for something, but not everyone finds that thing. Sad.
My current horse keeps me in trouble. Though I’d like to think of it on the positive side – I know all my neighbors much better now that Bandit has wrecked their yards. But they did keep me out of trouble in high school, and reminded me why suicide was not an option when things to rough.
OT but Jason Meduna’s trial should start next week. Here’s hoping us Nebraskan’s show the rest of the world how prosecuting these things should be done!
I actually DID hang out with the druggies, but I never touched any drugs or alcohol, and they knew me well enough to not pressure me. I still see some of them and although they do a lot of stupid things, most of them are incredibly nice. However, my horse saved me from medical hell! I’ve been through so much health-wise and right when I was finally going to give up, my mother bought me my horse<3 Not only did he re-inspire me to keep on going, he helped get some of my strength and confidence back! I'm still not very strong and I did fall off and injure my back really bad (just what I needed
) but I still have to smile just thinking about him. Hopefully soon we'll both be in shape and back to normal! 
Horses made me who I am but that’s a boring story.
However, I did once get a letter from the father of one of my former students and it simply raved about how horses kept his daughter from being a nimrod and the only reason he let her keep taking lessons was because I had once said something inane to him about how horses are sooooooo much better than boys in the teenage years. And he went with that and ended up with a wonderful, compassionate, loving daughter and felt he had to thank me for that. I still have that letter. It made my decade!
Horses SO kept me out of trouble when I was going through my rebellious teenager phase. I’d think about doing something stupid, then think of my sassy, funny, sweet mare who I had such a bond with…nope, can’t let her down. She needs me, I’d tell myself.
It was very clear to me: Get in trouble or do something assholeish, you don’t ride. Being obidient and acting with sense, then getting to go snuggle my horse is ten times better than having “fun” being bad and not seeing her or worse, my parents getting rid of her.
Every time someone talks to me about a young teenager who is being a “problem” for their parents or guardians, I advocate for getting them into horses.
If I had not had a horse when I was going through my phase of rebellion, I’d have been a druggie with a serious record. I wasn’t ‘that bad’, but the so-called friends I had were. They’d have taken me right down with them…
I saw on TMZ that Casey’s two dogs were saved. Two of her friends went to Tila’s home and retrieved them.. One was old and apparently needs regular meds. They felt that the dogs were in danger of being euthed.. So, Paris and friends stepped up for the animals.. admirable.