Their slogan is – folks, I do not make this shit up – “It’s all about the hair.”
Well, thank you for ‘fessing up before I had to point out that it’s clearly not about the quality or responsible breeding! You’ve allowed me to skip right to step two, detailing your sins for the public…and, boy, do I have a lot to talk about.
First of all, you breed Gypsy Cobs, otherwise known as “coloured cobs that sell for $400 in their native lands but are shipped overseas and sold to foolish Americans for 75x that.” Many Europeans have pointed out this fact on the Internet, but this does not seem to dissuade the Gypsy Vanner aficionados, who continue to shell out amazing sums for critters that are, basically, spotted draft horses with more hair on their legs than a Nascar-watching redneck has on his back.
Though, never let it be said that these folks have one-track minds – their horse collection consists of “our Gypsy Cob stallion, four Draft Cross smaller mares, & one filly. Two Welsh Cob fillies, two Arabian mares, one Curly mare, one Morgan mare and three half Haflinger pony mares.” And hey! You can put one in your barn because “prices are DRASTICALLY reduced” and “offers will be considered on any.”
Well, I can’t imagine why they’re not selling, given that your stud is such a superstar. In your own words, he is “great with the farrior” and “can be ridden and sat on.” Well, shit, with accomplishments like those, I can’t imagine why all them big name dressage folks haven’t come a’callin’ with their checkbooks!
It’s like a damn broken record, isn’t it?
Here is the best part – they have the “buy it now” paypal buttons so that you can put a horse in your shopping cart and check out! What…why would they need to meet you? Know anything about you? I’m sure you’re just as good a horse owner as any! Just paypal over the cash and come get your hafgypsymorcurly baby!
Check out this lovely creature. Poor dear! They say she is really friendly. That is like when someone tells you that your blind date has a great personality! I feel bad for this filly. She had her first foal this year, a month shy of her third birthday, and is bred back again…and she is available on the Internet to any moron who can paypal over $2500. Training level? Described as “baby training”…in other words, she leads and ties. Hell, who needs to train her? She can just pop out babies, like her momma who is also gettin’ booted out the door at age 20 with the following reassuring language: “She was confirmed sound & healthy, and the vet said that she should live for a good long while yet. However, since she is an older mare, her price is for her 2008 in-utero foal only, with Lolli herself being free.” Yep, no value except as a babymaker! That’s what Momma’s life has come to and I’m sure Filly’s life is heading the same direction.
But hey, if you don’t have Paypal and you still want a horse, no problem! We got one you can have for FREE since she is “lame in her front feet.” That’s an interesting diagnosis, but c’mon y’all, we can’t be callin’ the vet for a 24 year old horse! And just so y’all know, we ain’t payin’ for any vet bills if she gets even more fucked up on the ride to her new home. It’s totally y’alls “responcibility.”
But, c’mon, lookit this nice mare! She put up with all kinda shit. Like the way we ride.
And yup, you guessed it! Lame in both front feet Danzer popped out a Morab baby this year! (But we figger she’s probably done now that she’s gonna be 25, so her furry li’l ass is out the door.)
Now, in case you are thinking I’ve found one of the all time prize winners here, I’m not done.
They ALSO have a dog breeding operation. At least I think they are dogs, because I’ve never heard of some of these before. Allow me to list the “breeds,” and I use the term loosely, they are marketing to the public. Again, just use the paypal button and the puppy of your choice is all yours! We don’t need to know nothin’ about ya. Y’all got money, that’s all we need to know!
Mini Bulldogges
Cotrailians
Ori Pei
Colonial Cockers
Mini Colonial Cockers
Mini English Cockers
Mini Aussiedoodles
Labbes
Comfort Retrievers
Mini Saints
Dakota Sheepdogs
Mini Aussiedoodles
Mini English Shepadoodles
It’s ok though, they are happy to educate you about all of these critters. Just peruse the various pages and you can learn that “A Toy Bulldogge is a very small Bulldogge, usually only maturing around 10 inches tall, or less. (As small as 7 inches)” and “A Comfort Retriever highly resembles a Golden Retriever, but are a lot smaller.” And hey, they have guarantees in their contract! Allow me to share!
” This pup is guaranteed healthy and checked by our vet prior to leaving our home. We guarantee its health for 48 hours.”
After that, if it keels over dead, you’re fucked.
“If, within 48 hours after arrival (Sunday’s excluded), the puppy is examined by your vet and is found to be physically unsound, and if, within 48 hour period (Sunday’s excluded) the puppy is returned by the buyer to seller’s home with a written statement from the vet, stating in what respect the puppy is physically unsound, the puppy will be replaced.”
That should be easy, returning a sick puppy to middle of nowhere South Dakota within 48 hours. No problem! And GREAT for the puppy!
“Otherwise all sales are final.”
My cousin, he’s a lawyer, he tole us to say that.
“This pup is also guaranteed to be free from canine hip-dysplagia and retinal eye-dysplagia for a period of twenty-four (24) months from the date of birth.”
After that, again, you’re fucked.
“X-rays for hip-dysplagia must be submitted to the Orthopedic Foundation for Animals, 2300 Nifon Boulevard, Columbia, MO. 652012, then submitted to myself, along with the dog, to receive full refund, or without the dog, for half a refund, and a copy of the final Bill of Sale.”
‘Cause we want to resell that there dog to someone who ain’t smart enough to check its hips.
“Eyes must be checked by a licensed opthamologist to receive a refund.”
The fact that it’s walking around carrying a little white cane is not acceptable proof of visual impairment!
“No guarantee is given if in the rare case any puppy is sold for less then $300.”
Of course not!
Say it with me folks…PUPPY MILL, PUPPY MILL, PUPPY MILL!
(And you all know how to stop these people. Make it YOUR MISSION this Christmas that NO ONE in your extended family buys a pet from anything other than a reputable breeder, or that they choose adoption/rescue instead. Let’s all make that small effort this year to make animals’ lives better.)
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Check out this lovely creature. Poor dear! They say she is really friendly. That is like when someone tells you that your blind date has a great personality! I feel bad for this filly. She had her first foal this year, a month shy of her third birthday, and is bred back again…and she is available on the Internet to any moron who can paypal over $2500. Training level? Described as “baby training”…in other words, she leads and ties. Hell, who needs to train her? She can just pop out babies, like her momma who is also gettin’ booted out the door at age 20 with the following reassuring language: “She was confirmed sound & healthy, and the vet said that she should live for a good long while yet. However, since she is an older mare, her price is for her 2008 in-utero foal only, with Lolli herself being free.” Yep, no value except as a babymaker! That’s what Momma’s life has come to and I’m sure Filly’s life is heading the same direction.
I really cannot believe sometimes how a group of seemingly snarky individuals immediately get their knickers in a twist over the slightest raised eyebrow at their own behaviour.
Joking about sounding spoiled and having someone agree? How dare you! Mentioning a BB gun and a loose horse and having someone react with shock? That c-word!
Relax, guys. I know none of you are noobs to the interweb, so stop acting like such shrinking violets!
That’s the dakotawinds.homestead.com website…all those crosses with their Gypsy stallion who doesn’t look so great in the recent picture and whom they are also selling.
OK…I have a Gypsy/Haflinger colt. He is wonderful, has “feather,” is gentle, but he will not be a stallion.
The spelling and poor language skills reflect the general lack of skill in breeding horses and dogs, and the “paypal” thing: how obnoxious.
I have just read Starrynights link about competencies. Now i am worried. There is one area for instance in which I would rate my self as extremely competent. Right up there with the best I reckon. Am I kidding myself? Am I in fact delusional and overstating my abilities?
Personally I think I am a champ at wasting time reading blogs, drooling over other peoples horses and generally just spending far to much time on the computer when I could be doing other things. On the other hand maybe I am wrong and I just have to practice more
On the subject of dogs, had a young woman out here this morning who is doing some work with my young horses and she had brought with her her Speagle no less. The fact he is a mutt and a pound puppy she adopted for the cost of his injections and castration is beside the point, if he were in a pet shop he’d be worth 10 times what she paid, being such a perfect designer creature – barf.
(He is cute and lovable of course))
OMG. For the love of it all! These idiots should be shot. After looking at their site I see that they’re only about 2 1/2 hours away and it’s SO tempting to hop in the car and pay them a visit, so worth the gas. Those unfortunate animals are some of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen (People aren’t too sexy either, must say).
Although, for only $3500 I can get myself a carefully bred Toy Bulldogge!! YAY!! Ship me one ASAP!
I freakin hate people.
i bought a horse from them back when they were in mustangs i was 15 at the time so i had to make payments well when the filly was 10months old they wanted her and i wanted a dog..still to this day that was the WORST choice ive ever made. they screwed me over with a worthless dog i was in school when i got an email stating i had to pay them 3x what the dog was worth plus other stuff and drive out to get my filly or she is leaving on friday (it was a wed when i got the email) i freaked out at school and was hyserically crying and had to leave school i couldnt eat or sleep i finally filed a law suit against them in small claims and won but since they already sold my filly it was a third party deal and the judge couldnt do anything about it…i try to email this lady every 6months for updated photos of my filly from the new owners i havent gotten any in almost 3years and it breaks my heart..add salt to the wound the filly wasnt with them for more than a month and she cut her leg obviously the place isnt safe for horses…the people were mad about her attitude and thats why they sold her but i told her she is just like her momma she will always be boss hoss obviously they dont like to deal with agressive horses….i would give just about everything i own to have my Tango Goin Cash back with me she will be 6 on april 11th 2008 and all i ever want anymore is for her to come home sorry im blabbering on but this lady really pissed me off by doing what she did all i want is my filly back and would have been the happiest 15 (now 21) year old person in the world.
~C
2fishies—hysterical…. if I’d been drinking I’m sure I’d be wiping off the screen now….
“He would make an excellant cart horse, or a good jumper”
Uhh…WTF??? I’m all for versatile horses, but EXCELLENT cart horse and GOOD jumper? All in one package? Maybe if he ploughs through the jumps…
“can be ridden and sat on”
As opposed to ridden without sitting on the horse???
Well, I guess anyone capable of creating multiple breeds of dogs and mini cats could figure out how to ride without actually sitting on the horse…
“This horse is our daughter, Ayla’s
baby! She saw her being born”
Why does that statement make me think that out of all the foals they have every year, they’re rarely present for a foaling???
“Our goal with our horses is to breed smaller Draft horses, around 14 to 15 hands tall. After all, Draft horses do not need to plow fields anymore”
Uhh.. isn’t that why we have light horses???
Sorry for all of my posts. I’m working a boring night shift and although these breeders make me scream, I cannot click “x” and leave their website!
“Also, see their Curly filly named “Gypsy”, sired by our Flash, who tested as the 2nd softest Curly Horse! (Softer then Mohair, Sheep, & Alpacas.)”
Is this legitimate? People actually test the softness of their horse’s coat?
That’s just creepy as hell…their animals are like Joseph Mengele experiments. *shudders*
ftfotb
You know…for the most part, I completely agree with your opinions. But here…I have to draw the line.
I figured out a long time ago, on many comment pages ago that you were “different” (I’m trying to be nice here).
Don’t pretend that you’re trying to be nice by using a “softer” word than what we all know you really mean here. CLEARLY 4h&h learned her lesson through her experience with the mare wandering off, and she stated rather bluntly that she will be changing her behavior due to this event. It is not your job to criticize her to make a good example “for the children.” There are far, far more respectful ways you could have expressed your opinion here. God forbid you ever make a mistake and anyone finds out about it.
unbridled,
that was most likely a reference to a recent fiber study done on curly horse hair.