Steven Spielberg, most of you ain’t…
Dec 09 2007
Folks, if you are going to put video up on the Internet, please make it look professional! Video can be a great tool in selling a horse to far-away buyers, but it can also show prospective buyers that your horse is not worth wasting their time to look at – or that it desperately needs to be rescued from you.
For example, as the Frequent Reader who passed this along noted, for $35,000 she’d like something that knows its leads!
Normally I would look at this video and say, hey, green horse, green rider, they are learning, hope they have a good trainer! But not after someone tells me this was posted in conjunction with trying to sell said horse for fifty thousand dollars. What the hell? That mare is worth about $2500-$3000, maybe, and honestly needs a lot more ground work to even think about jumping. She travels around stiff as a board and that’s why she’s jumping like that. Jeez people are delusional about what their horses are worth (especially the East coast, ever notice that?) And if you really DO have a $50,000 horse – you can afford to have a professional trainer ride it for your video so that it looks like one!
Of course, everybody thinks they are a trainer…what about this video isn’t horrifying? Yeah, let’s break out our teeny baby is-that-even-a-two-year-old? with big honking spurs, a huge long shank bit and a whopper roping saddle. No wonder Cheyenne looks like she wants to kick them in the head and leave town. Can’t say as I blame her!
Oh yes, did I mention everybody thinks they are a trainer? This has to be the most horrifying example ever, because she thinks she is an instructor, too. Yeek. She has a whole collection of videos posted, in case you are interested in taking off a leg wrap in the most insipid way possible.
While you all know what I think of twirling all over the horse like you’re a member of the Flying Fucktards, I have to say that this is a very effective sale video that would make me want to buy the horse. The horse is a freaking saint. For $6000, she is money well spent. This is a great example of taking a horse who is average looking and not a good mover but ramping up her value substantially with good training so that she will be likely to have a good home forever. I have to give these folks credit, and I know the theatrics work on a lot of buyers…they just make me hork.
Gah! OK, enough of all that, time to go do the horsey housekeeping…hope you are all having a great weekend!
221 comments to “Steven Spielberg, most of you ain’t…”
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ok….i was watching these disasters-in-action with the sound off, so perhaps there’s some explanation that i missed. (doubt it, though.)
the video with the poor fugly mare in the western saddle in her “first week of training.” what exactly are those fucktards trying to do? could that man truly not get on, or is there some inherent logic in applying so much torque to the saddle by hopping halfway in and out of it that it keeps slipping down the mare’s shoulder? (i shudder to think of the damage that sort of idiocy would do to a horse’s spine, especially a baby’s!) and why do these things in big ol’ spurs? i can’t think of a less appropriate situation to have them on….
the video with the so-called jumping instructor. i burst out laughing; could not help myself! does she really trot that poor willing guy up to a makeshift jump and let him stop, back out of it, and walk away!? oh great….lessons in how to get your horse to refuse! just what the h/j world needs! of course, given her complete lack of form over the jump when she finally did take it, i don’t blame the horse for refusing, and it’s probably a much more productive (and less painful) use of his time. cripes, a non-horsey person who knew nothing about jumping should be able to look at that and think….wtf happened there?
i was rather impressed with the vid of the palimino mare though.
My3arabs-Thanks! Am certainly passing on that website. They are willing to look out of state.
Fugly-For these certain kids that they are looking for, they want something a little more broke than track broke. In fact one refuses to look at anything off the track…whatever. But if anyone else comes up looking for one with a little more experience, I will be sure to ask you!
>>Let me make one thing clear.
EVEN IN THE EAST, THAT IS A $5,000 OR LESS HORSE. OK? No way no how is any sale barn going to get that horse done for $10k.< <
Thanks Christina, that was my take on it too. It doesn’t move well, it doesn’t jump well, you can see it fighting the bit (yes, the rider’s hands are a contributing factor), it doesn’t have a lead change and it knocked down at least one 18″ obstacle (you can see the ground crew running to fix it, this was edited out). No way, no how, in no universe, is that horse going to sell for a ton of money. It is not an expensive horse. More training and it might be a decent short stirrup hunter, valued for consistency, not style, but it is not there now.
when Crunch was a show horse, i kept her tail bagged 24-7. now i keep it trimmed (so it doesn’t get caked with mud)and loose.
Love the tale of the bisexual German Riding Horse!
I personally own two of the sluttiest mares on earth. They let geldings breed them. They don’t care. If it has a penis, they are ready to party. They will back up to any fence that a gelding is on the other side of, peeing and making fools of themselves. They are truly embarrassing.
Even stranger is the fact that dontyouridenofuglyhorse’s stallion is in love with my totally fugly, hammerheaded, swaybacked, 30 year old, breeding stock appaloosa rescue mare who is currently stalled in his barn. It is the funniest thing you have ever seen. He screams for her like she is the equine version of Angelina Jolie.
I complain about humans making poor horse breeding decisions, but left to their own devices, horses would make worse ones!
Talking about slutty mares, we had one in for training a long time ago who had the worst heat cycles ever. It wasn’t that she was naughty, it was just that you couldn’t do anything without her propositioning her. Put on the saddle? Pee. Get on? Pee. Bump her with your legs? Ooooh kick me harder, oooh yeah….
Embarrassing to say the least. We’d make jokes about getting her a pleather bustier or something.
i think the BiGRH story is my new favorite story.
4H&H – yeah. Poor horse. Speaking of poor horses, how is yours doing?
I do not need another horse, I do not need another horse, I do not need another horse…
I have horses boarded in the Templeton/Creston area too. Time to go borrow the “clue by four” from Fleig, hunt them down, and whap somebodies up side the head.
n,
That poor little filly being started by the idiot with the big spurs was born in 2006!!!!!
http://www.freewebs.com/thunderbayranch/godsgivenangel.htm
I cannot believe the ignorance that is so common when it comes to fools owning horses.
They are breeders too, but you must have guessed that, huh?!
Hi all, I wrote an email to both expert@expertvillage.com, and their parent company, info@pagewise.com
about those awful Sarah Stetner videos. See below for my email.
To Whom it May Concern:
I believe this may have been brought to your attention previously, but the lack of response on your end has spurred me to contact you. Your site, as well as your youtube account, hosts videos from “expert” Sarah Stetner. While one may give themselves whatever credentials they so choose, it is up to the discretion and knowledge of the site itself to determine whether or not an individual is worthy of being toted to the community as such.
It is for this reason that I ask that your videos by Sarah Stetner be removed from your site, as well as the youtube account. While it seems that Ms. Stetner’s videos have been removed for review from expertvillage.com, all her videos are available through your organization’s youtube account, where you have posted them.
As an individual with extensive equine experience, including a college degree and published research, I am absolutely horrified that these videos are not only being broadcasted, but that Ms. Stetner is being passed off as an “expert,” and as one whose example should be followed. While I do not know Ms. Stetner, I do take serious issue with her incorrect training methods, her use of a lame (injured and unfit for work/riding) horse, the blatant disregard for safety, and obvious lack of any real training experince or background as an instructor of any merit.
I would greatly appreciate a response from your office, as this is a matter that has raised some seroius flags amongst members of the equine community. If you would like specific reviews of some of Ms. Stetner’s videos, I would have no problem assisting in their critique, and would be able to supply you with the contact information of some real equine industry experts who can also give you their professional opinion on the merits of these videos.
Height: 14.2HH (Withers) 15HH (Butt)
Uh, even for an 18 month old, that’s not exactly something to brag about! LOL
Liri-
I… don’t know where I live :-/
I went to Cal Poly, then back to the Bay Area for a year, I’m currently on the road to Texas (tonight- Arizona!).
But part of me considers SLO “home!”
ok guys, just out of curiosity i went on myspace and searched for Sarah Stetner. fucktard has a myspace. it’s private, but you can tell it’s rowdy in her picture. Poor horse. And her name is “the cutest cowgirl” or some stupid shit like that. Go send her evil messages.
PalominoTwist,
I sent a similar letter to their youtube account. Let’s hope that more ppl will do the same thing and get her off the net.
I forgot to add to the tale of The BiGRH that he also once “adopted” a TB baby we had.
When this colt was weaned, he was put in a stall next to The BiGRH as that was the only one open. We planned to use either my horse or another older gelding as a babysitter, but The BiGRH would have none of this! That was HIS baby, dammit and we couldn’t be taking him!
He screamed for the baby and nearly tore the barn down when we took him out. We eventually turned them out in paddocks next to each other (as The BiGRH can be a little rough for any horse, never mind a teeny little TB) instead of across the way so The BiGRH would do more with his turn out time than running up and down the fenceline in a frenzy over the baby.
They developed quite a relationship though. It was as if The BiGRH would say to the baby, “now son, I am going to show you how to be a real horse” and then teach him all his naughty tricks like reaching out of his stall, grabbing the cross-tie of a horse in the aisle, and RUNNING backwards. The TB baby would then say, “gee whiz, this sure is fun” and join right in on the naughtiness.
We eventually had to seperate them (and replace a few boards). Since then, we have decided that all babies are to be kept as far away from The BiGRH as possible.
He’s a big black pain in my ass, but I love that gender-confused horse.
Hey, I think I found a subject that she is actually an “expert” on!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O16zGnO33XQ&feature=related
The girl can scoop shit like a champ can’t she? I can’t wait to see the “how to scoop a pee spot” video! What shovel will she use? Will we have to wait until the next video to see the adding of the shavings? you’ll have to watch and see!!!!
Seriously, if you have to go online and look up how to
A: Scoop poop
B: Shovel a pee spot
or
C: Add supplements to your horse’s “Oats”
I think you may have far worse problems than listening to what this Asshat has to say!
Ick! Holy horrible leg position on that jumping video, huge people harassing a tiny horse in that “training” video, and dumbass on that beautiful stallion that doesn’t have a left lead. I would love to have that palamino myself, even though I think the girl was a little too spastic (especially without a helmet), but it definitely got the point across.
Everybody’s a trainer?
Actually it’s true.
Those two with the tiny filly and the giant loose saddle and ridiculous spurs? They’re trainers. They are training her to get moving as soon as somebody goes to put a foot in a stirrup. Eventually they’ll have her trained to start moving as soon as they walk up to her. They appear to be good at what they’re doing and I have no doubt that they’ll have her taking off immediately when she sees the saddle coming at her.
We are all trainers- every time we approach a horse we’re training it. The question is, WHAT are we training our horses for?
Heidi, that is a great post. SO very true. Every interaction with a horse – you are teaching something. The question is WHAT.
Luckyduck said…
Hey, I think I found a subject that she is actually an “expert” on!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O16zGnO33XQ&feature=related
The girl can scoop shit like a champ can’t she? I can’t wait to see the “how to scoop a pee spot” video! What shovel will she use? Will we have to wait until the next video to see the adding of the shavings? you’ll have to watch and see!!!!
Seriously, if you have to go online and look up how to
A: Scoop poop
B: Shovel a pee spot
or
C: Add supplements to your horse’s “Oats”
I think you may have far worse problems than listening to what this Asshat has to say!
December 10, 2007 10:43 PM
LOL!!! i commented that this is the only horse-related thing she is skilled enough to be doing. i think she deletes all the comments though.
My3Arabs said…
PalominoTwist,
I sent a similar letter to their youtube account. Let’s hope that more ppl will do the same thing and get her off the net.
December 10, 2007 9:07 PM
i did my part.