But we looooove our precious little deformed angels!
Aug 30 2007
I’ve been researching and contemplating this post for a while. First, because it’s about a kind of horse I’ve had very little personal exposure to, and second, because it has already become obvious that the breeders of these horses are, on the whole, stark raving mad. But hey, we all need some excitement in the middle of our boring work weeks, so today I’m going to tackle this topic.
I am pretty sure Miniature Horses became hot in the 1970s. I say this because I was an inveterate reader of the “Arabian Horse World” at that point (my closet door was just covered in Arabian pictures, much to the dismay of my mother, who pointed out that scotch tape leaves marks and I was in big trouble), and I still remember the little ads in the back that caught my eye for miniature horses. Here was a horse that could live in your yard! And they could be potty trained! OMG! For a horse crazy kid stuck in suburbia, this sounded like the perfect compromise. It was like a dog that whinnied! Awesome! Unfortunately for me, my mom didn’t think that was such a great idea, and probably correctly surmised that our picky neighbor Mr. Huebner, who had a shit fit if we let the lawn go 2 extra days, would not tolerate livestock grazing on said lawn. Ah well. I continued to read the AHW and get trucked out for my weekly visit to a riding academy that I now recognize, in retrospect, I was lucky to have survived. But I digress…
I grew up, acquired a normal sized horse, and forgot all about those little midget horses for many years. Oh, sure, every once in a while I boarded somewhere with a mini and had to go through the desensitizing process all over again. I remember one boarding barn in particular where there was a mini that got hooked up to a cart and driven around the premises. Invariably, that went something like this:
Normal Sized Horse: What the FUCK is that? *snort* *scramble* *snort some more*
Me: It’s just a mini. It’s not going to eat you. It’s like a dog.
Normal Sized Horse: The hell you say! It’s a teeny little DEMON with WHEELS! Get me out of here!
Me: Knock it off, you’re 10 times its size, relax!
Normal Sized Horse: Tell you what, I’ll throw you in the dirt and you can relax and look at the little shaggy DEMON with WHEELS while I get the hell out of here!
Mini Horse: *little gay whinny*
Normal Sized Horse: It’s speaking in tongues! It’s possessed by Satan! *wheel and bolt*
So at least until recently, I mainly thought of minis as an annoyance. I had only a vague realization that people actually bred them, and I had NO idea there were horseshows for them. In the past year, I have received an education that I’m not sure I wanted. You know, kind of like when you’re a teenager and you find out what guys really want you to do with your mouth, and it’s not kissing! Particularly since I’ve started this blog, I’ve gotten e-mails that go like this:
“My pet peeve is in regard to miniature breeders. It’s become an absolute abomination in the miniature horse community that the only goal seems to be to produce more of them regardless of their futures or quality. It seems that every fool with two intact horses of each sex consider themselves a breeder these days an almost EVERYONE who has minis breeds them or plans to breed eventually. Doesn’t matter how horrendous the fault, dwarfism, fixated patellas, severe tendon laxity, red bag births–hey no matter, because after all you don’ t ride ‘em. IDIOTS! Doesn’t matter that minis have the highest mortality rate for foaling, probably due to the low IQ of their breeders, and other brood-related complications because if they die, oh well they will just get another set of culls and breed some more.”
“I think the whole Miniature Horse thing is strictly crap! I believe they’re all just selectively bred-down ponies and the smaller they get, the more deformed they seem to come out. The dwarf gene is compounded, or something. Anyway, I’ve argued with people that they’re just very small ponies, but those same people absolutely argue that they’re horses, not ponies.”
“I would love to see a FHOTD on miniature horses. These people are breeding just to breed and are producing some really unfortunate looking things. Then there are the ones that look like they have acrodysplasia! These poor dwarfs have some really sad health issues especially with their feet and yet the breeders do it on purpose!”
“Miniature horses are a dime a dozen and yet because Sassy has really pretty pinto markings she should be bred to Bob’s stallion to produce yet another horse that will end up in Aunt Jessie’s back yard cause it was cute. But does Auntie know that these are actually horses and need feet trimming, teeth floating, grooming… Nope not a chance.”
This last comment is totally on-target. Much like I did when I was, um, seven, people get confused and think this is like owning a DOG. It’s not. A miniature horse still requires all of the same care a normal sized horse does, and if you think the prices are going to be downsized like the horses, you are in for a surprise. Check out the long feet on our mini at the left. The truly appalling part is that he is allegedly owned by a farrier. Um, do you ever trim your own horse’s feet? Let’s add to this the fact that this thing is the Humpback of Mini Dame…it’s got a topline like a donkey, not a horse. Conformation is conformation, regardless of size. I have seen minis with good conformation. This isn’t one of them.
Here’s another. I guess we are supposed to look at the baby and not look at Momma Mini’s positively appalling looking feet, but they were the first thing that caught my eye.
I mean, other than the fact that I personally think this little creature looks like a mutant. To each their own…but the hoof care, that’s not optional.
Poor li’l mutant though…he’s being auctioned off on the Internet in something called the “last chance” auction. Eeek. Nothing like screening your potential homes!
Lest you think I am just prejudiced against minis, I have found some examples online of good looking ones with good conformation. It just seems like there is a VAST range of quality, and although you see that in every breed and type, I am pretty sure the facts that you can keep a mini damn near anywhere and they don’t eat as much as the big horses contribute to the low end being so…damn…low.
Here’s a nice one. If you blew him up to 15.2 or so and kept all the proportions the same, he’d be a usable, attractive and athletic horse. His feet are done and everything! I still don’t quite get the appeal of the teacup horsies, but I suspect a repeat viewing of “Best in Show” might remind me.
Here’s a good article on irresponsible breeding of miniature horses. This article points out that the foaling death rate in minis is OVER THIRTY SIX PERCENT. WTF? And you mini breeders don’t think you have a problem here?
Dozens of starved minis. You mean, they have to eat? We thought were like big stuffed animals!
And you are supposed to pick up their poop too? Well damn y’all, that’s WAY too much work!
Here’s an ad for a mini “stud.” Gotta love it.
Okay, Here’s the deal. Serious inquiries only. I am lazy about paperwork and Pepper is not registered at this time. So you can have one gorgeous unpapered stud for $300, or for $1000, I will catch him up with his paperwork and you can have a fully registered handsome little stud. (FHOTD: Does anybody EVER geld these things?) He has an excellent pedagree behind him with several champions on both sides. His mother taught my then 2 year old daughter how to ride. The disposition is rock steady and calm. He’s never been off our farm (except to experience trailering) in his life. I love this little guy, but now he’s making eyes at his mother so if someone wants a vise-proof little stud who stand for vets and farriers, leads, loads, grooms like a pro, this is your guy! OMG YOU INCREDIBLE DUMBASS. This is a 3 year old (foaled 5/04, ad posted 8/07). HE HAS ALREADY BRED HIS MOTHER IF YOU HAVEN’T SEPARATED THEM. I really hope she has separated them and is just whining about having to keep two separate pastures. I hopeihopeihope…
Despite all of these lovely examples, to really get the flavor of the low end of the mini horse business, you absolutely must proceed to Youtube to see them in action.
Here is a video of a mini stallion attacking the family dog and the owner’s foot. How KYOOT! But the best part is the owner’s own description of this unfortunate creature. “He is almost two years old, now, but this is an older video. Any way, he’s still a stallion so he’s kinda rascally. Enjoy! P.S. He is deformed, he is a braciocephalic dwarf and was born without tendons in his hind legs. Thats why his feet look like that, not becuase we don’t trim them. We have a ferrier come out every 3 weeks to trim them. He is not fat due to over feeding, but becuase his organs are too big for his frame making his belly distended.” All I can say is, I sure hope they don’t own any mares!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7AWt2Ij9Dc&NR=1
This is priceless – the mini at liberty class. You have to watch til the end to see him wing kicks at the handler who is trying to catch him. Disposition plus!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPfXCIiQM1g
This parent admits her daughter is a “little” big for the mini. WTF, it should be riding her!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLCEfeP1MGE
Jesus, it’s just a sea of stupid when you start searching for mini horses!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SS8kXRsrJQk
It’s the Redneck Olympics Bronc Riding! (but seriously, these people should be arrested for cruelty…)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlNybGMigfQ
OK, I saved the WORST for last. They have an entire web site devoted to minis that suffered from dwarfism and died young! I kid you not. And they have the nerve to say breeders shouldn’t be embarrassed when this happens, that it’s just “a fact of life” when breeding minis. Edited to add: Make sure you look at the second page of that site. That is where they hide the pictures of all the really deformed ones.
In closing, I must share this lovely poem from that site.
Giants in miniature, look like Arabs, Quarter Horses,Thoroughbreds, Drafts, yet through our quest for perfection comes Mother Natures unseen forces.
A mishappened foal is born, neck too short, toes pointing in odd directions,mare was almost lost, foal not much better. Her tongue hangs out, nearly lifeless, cannot stand.
Foal was born on a cold stormy night, she shivers getting wetter.I blanket and stall mare and foal, nothing else I can do ’till morning, I pray for the best.One week later, foal is better, a dwarf, but no less a blessed foal.We call her “Miracle”, the name suits her, she’s an Angel sent for a reason.
She was here, momma mare was proud, she stood by her no matter what.This is one heck of an end to mare watch and foaling season,her survival is our only care, her comfort is our goal.She is beautiful, the time we share will be special,in my eyes she is perfect, nowhere near a mutt.
~
*sits back to enjoy the show*
328 comments to “But we looooove our precious little deformed angels!”
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very good points incognitomosquito, the best being ‘caring for them…’. *slaps hand to head* you CARE FOR your horses, no matter what size or shape? who wouldve thought people still waste time doing that? *LMAO*
im very open about how much i cant stand most american breeds – QHs, TWHs, paint horses etc – but im also honest about the fact that its a personal taste thing, its MY problem, not theirs. even the fugliest horse deserves basic good care. if people wanna love something i find disgusting, whether its a foul horse, a smelly husband or a horrid tarantula, thats their bizz. if its properly cared for and makes you happy.. wheres the damage?
the little critters of the world… they dont know that theyre ugly! *LOL* i have a pal who is obsessed with her 5 axolotls, her prize large pinky/white female looking something like a floating amphibious penis with a face! it gives me the wiggins! O_O but hey, makes her happy, its a healthy, wellcared for floating penis creature, so i mind my own *cackle*
Oh come on you guys. Don’t you think you’re being a little harsh? It’s like a serious mob mentality has ensued! Y’all are pouncing on poor helpless obliviots who misplaced their ticket for the clue train! Toot! Toot!
I WANT one! ESPECIALLY a deformed one–I DO love attention. I want to hug it and squeeze it and hold it real tight. Maybe push it around in a stroller?
I want one to run around in my house with my dog (who actually would be bigger than the mini) wearing pony diapers and I want to drive it around in the back seat of my car with its head out the window.
And then, all my friends’ kids can ride the little beast and I can sell foals for Xmas presents–kinda like chicks and bunnies at Easter?
Wouldn’t that be FUN?! AND SMRT.
Good God in heaven.
Like anything else, kudos to the responsible folks and shame on the rest.
(PS: hope ya didn’t miss the sarcasm.)
Skimming back through the blogs, I found one about the SSH…spotted saddle horse. Gaited horse with spots.
I have 2. One, a blind mare I bought as a rescue. (homozygous for tobiano)What a “valuable brood mare” they were hating to let go just b/c of her blindness.
Surprize, surprize, she was bred. So, one more horse becomes two. Again, how “lucky” can one person be? Twice the vet bills! Twice the farrier! OH GOODIE!
When she popped out a spotted buckskin who did put some gait on the ground out of the former owner’s bay stock gelding, and everyone figured out the mare had to be DILUTE AND a homozygote, well, now, wasn’t I just a lucky, lucky lucky girl!
I had several people who I thought would know better (and the rest who didn’t) chide me for gelding this half breed, gaited spotted buckskin “stallion” prospect. Looks QH but gaited. “Oh the fortunes to be made.” And he is a sweet gelding and we love him.
I don’t think FHOTD is the devil because she snarked SSH. If the snark fits, do something to change it.
I say all that to say this: Minifolks with your panties in a twist, this isn’t about taking on someone else’s poor breeding results, loving the little guy, taking care of him and giving him a home as long as he’s not in pain or suffering. It’s about repeatedly breeding mares and stallions indiscriminately who are producing dwarves and even justifying it by saying it goes with the territory of breeding minis.
If you don’t do that…this wasn’t about you.
>>Did you see the one on the second page named “Jolly Rancher?” It looked like a hamster or something< <
I’m going to hell but I laughed out loud at that one!
Poor thing. I hope it didn’t suffer too much during the time it was forced to spend on this earth.
“I’m going to hell but I laughed out loud at that one!”
Oh – I laughed, too, but it was just, well, a wrong-looking poor beastie. It would make a great logo for a t-shirt (picture those t-shirts with the fat ponies that say, “Does this saddle make my butt look big…”, etc.).
*LMAO* yep, a ’round’ horse is a desirable result of training… not something that can actually roll into a ball of fluff like a hedgehog!!
maybe there should be a new standard for all breeds – if you can pick it up off the ground and shnorgle it like a housecat, it doesnt count as a horse.
lifelike001 said…
“her prize large pinky/white female looking something like a floating amphibious penis with a face! it gives me the wiggins! O_O but hey, makes her happy, its a healthy, wellcared for floating penis creature, so i mind my own *cackle*”
Thank you, thank you so very much. You have no idea how badly I needed to laugh so hard that I snorked soda out my nose and onto my cat (who makes a wonderful shield for those momentary “spit takes” since she insists on resting between my face and my laptop). Better the cat than the computer, I suppose.
Honestly the visual this inspired was both intensely amusing and disturbing. I must go visit google and see what these things look like for myself. As a great lover of all things fugly and unpleasant to look at I am sure I will love them.
I don’t mind minis, I’ve met several pretty good ones when I was in 4-H. There were some pretty satanic ones with clueless kids in high-water jeans and those god-awful Heels Down tennis shoes, too.
I started showing Pinto last year (actually pretty fun and laid back breed shows, really- good for getting your feet wet when moving up to showing with the big dogs) and my horses have had to get pretty used to minis hauling carts around. My favorite class to watch is the mini jumping. Cracks me right up.
Also, why is it that the smallest ponies are always pulling the largest women?
“This is not pathetic, this is perverted production.”
Ding, ding, ding–think we have a winner, for tag line!
Heh, reminds me of “Perverted Justice,” the group that fights internet predators.
Perverted Production–fighting moronic breeding practices, illiteracy, and bad poetry.
Oh my I just went and looked up the axolotl and I can see what you mean. For anyone curious scroll down to the pink one that looks like it is wearing makeup. It is so ugly it is actually cute.
http://www.axolotl.org/
*LMFAO* see, it ISNT just me with ‘severed penis’ on the brain!!
she floats upside down barely moving, all gross with her innards slightly visible and just when youre getting an idea of what lorena bobbitt went through… damn thing turns around and LOOKS AT YOU with her beady eyes and frills her gills and you think im NEVER having sex again….
shes twice the size of all the others too and ENJOYS being handled. i call her ronnette jeremy. my friend hits me. ow!
this ones kinda cute.. all smilin’ and stoopit lookin’..
http://www.kent.ac.uk/anthropology/
dice/research/azaxs/images/webims/axolotl12.gif
THIS, however, is UNacceptable!
http://www.thiswildlife.com/images/
uploads/Axolotl-for-Carol.jpg
Fugs, I read, (I can do that)
I comprehended(I can do that also)
My POINT was that, were I to wish to know about Labrador breeding and good practices I would not go to the Guide Dog site- I would find somewhere that bred Labradors (actually the UK Guide Dogs are all bred by the Association but that is another matter)
Basically, the site is flawed beyond any sort of sanity- I have tried on numerous occasions to point out that DARTMOOR PONIES are NOT Miniature Horses but they leave it there.
My point is also that if horses (a FLIGHT animal that lives in a field, needing others of it’s own kind as company) were a suitable guide animal for blind people, presumably, by now, there would be more than two?????
And one of those is far from perfect.
This is NOT an unbiased site, this is a site intent on causing malicious damage and spreading rumours- who starts (and loses, Thank God) court cases against people for saying exactly what I am saying now.
Try this site
http://www.guidehorseno.com/
and read on……
They tried hard to gag a man who attempted to train a nice Mini mare for them in Europe, they can be really nasty types when you rub them the wrong way- tried to ruin his reputation because he would not agree that horses are ideal guide animals!!
Basically there is no point, beyond vanity, to attempting to force an animal to live in a manner it would not choose- dogs have lived with us to the point where we can now say they do so willingly- dogs may stray if not fenced in but few actually run off- mine are not fenced and do not stray or run off- horses HAVE to be fenced- no-one would take their horse for a walk without a lead rope and I have yet to see a horse do an obedience workout off lead- what I am trying to say is horses are Domestic Animals- they live in fields (I am sure you had noticed??) Dogs are pets and they live in the house- in my case on the furniture (Hey, I LIKE the floor!!).
Perhaps you could investigate more and make a Blog on this site- I would LOVE to see them try to sue you- and they would- they would be more successful than previous people, I can assure you, but you would have plenty of support!!
*LMFAO* see, it ISNT just me with ‘severed penis’ on the brain!!
quote
she floats upside down barely moving, all gross with her innards slightly visible and just when youre getting an idea of what lorena bobbitt went through… damn thing turns around and LOOKS AT YOU with her beady eyes and frills her gills and you think im NEVER having sex again….
ROTFLMFAO I’m speechless.
OMG, I’m slow, I just got the Ron Jeremy reference. I’m dying here.
Did anyone else notice that several of the horses on page two seemed to have TRAVELED BACKWARDS THROUGH TIME, dying before they were born? Yes, folks, it’s true- the reason that mini breeders can continue to shamelessly breed these “special angels” is because they have discovered the secrets of time travel, and have sold the information to the government! It makes sense, right? They are protected from cruelty lawsuits, and have enough money to continue with their erm, ‘pursuit of the perfect horse’.
ok so i will admit sometimes this blog can irritate me but you are dead on about the minis!!!! And a lot of other things but I got to looking at Youtube after reading this and check out what i found
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfIzutC1BTY&NR=1
now look closely in “cinnamon’s” stall ………. there are outlets INSIDE WITH THE MINI!!!!! what the hell??????? God some mini owners should be shot ,hell some horse owners for that matter if they do stupid stuff like that
ya some of those minis r sad!! i do indeed have two minis but they r more like shetlends than minis (they dont have great comfirmation)so they are both gelded.and no they dont have much training so they are a pain in the ass to trim. im not gonna lie about it. i try to do training with them but my trainer has been really busy so im left to do it myself…but some of those deformed minis should have been put down when they were born. do the owners not understand that when a horse and even really walk thats somethins wrong with them?all i have to say is that some people r really stupid STUPID
I just wanted to make somthing clear before I leave “my comment” on this breeding idea. The video of “the mother knowing her daughter is to big for the mini”, that was not her mother writing/commenting, that was a friend of hers. Ok, we have bred minis, and never had a dwarf horse. Of course the minis we bred would be classified in the “B” range. I don’t think they should stop breeding because of the dwarfism, they just need to watch their lines. In reality, every breeder needs to watch for these kind of harmful mutation, because the fact in the matter is,all breeds have a form a genetic mutation that causes more harm then good. You really should not single out minis and stock horses for this kind of complication.
If you had read the comments with this video you would have known that this was a breeding farm’s ONLY dwarf in many years of breeding. The owner is NOT the one who created this animal but was the one who took it in. The farm would have put it down. The animal is NOT in pain. Is not overweight, has regular vet care. It has 2 retained testicles-cannot handle full anesthesia and therefore cannot be gelded. 2 testices retained also mean infertile. You take an awful lot of things out of context or don’t care to get the full story. It would be nice if you did before you ran with it.
http://www.sunrae.com/reflections/cowboy.html
check the head out on this one if you can se it due to the positioning… and how well the pastern and hooves are hidden in the grass?
here’s a 25 1/2 inch tall stallion – do they get that small without having a little weeny dose of dwarfism?
either they are fully aware of it’s head being HUGE and it probably having some sort of problem with hooves/pasterns and they are hiding it in a ‘subtle’ way to those who don’t know how to market a horse!
i love this blog – never commented on anything before – but had to share this.
Athena, my field is publicity for events and I don’t think I would be really popular with the arena management if I went around telling trainers or judges how to do their jobs. But as someone who does attend everything I do see a lot of stuff that I don’t understand what the judges are going for. Western Pleasure is sure not the only thing that the amazes me.
Some of these bastards make money off of the little horses after they die – by having them STUFFED.
I know this because I contribute posts to the Disturbing Auctions website.
I put one little dead horse up. They had mounted it AS A ROCKING HORSE ON ROCKERS. It had rebar in the legs so it would hold anyone. At first they put it up as a toy, with a depressed looking child standing next to it. The little dead horse looked sad too.
Then someone must have convinced them that would not work and it was put up as a ‘collectible’.
I do not think it sold.
I have seen Lethal White colts stuffed as ‘unicorns’ too. I personally have seen two put up on Ebay, one with a Sculpey-made twisted horn and one with a horn made out of transparent acrylic (you could put a light in it! Wheeee)
That is really sick, but there are a lot of sick people around.
Ugh those poor animals. People need to start realizing these are LIVESTOCK and not puppies. I can’t believe that one girl was letting her horse act like that. When he gets bitten by the dog, maybe she’ll rethink letting her pony run around like one. Honestly, despicable.
I completely agree with how everyone treats them like dogs. We have a couple minis where I ride, and my friends have minis (next year we’re so going to have a winning In Hand Obstacle Relay team for OHSET :] ), but at every meet, people just stop and treat them like dogs, it drives me insane.
These are athletes, they can hurt you just as much a large horse, we drive them, we do showmanship with them, we do a lot of classes with them, they rear, and they buck, they can be dangerous. The only mini we used this year reared up in the cart last meet and flipped over, he, luckily was fine as was his driver, but it was just a stern reminder that these are not dogs, they are bonifide horses with a herd instinct and a flight or fight instinct as well.
I would like to propose not to hold off until you earn enough amount of money to order goods! You can take the business loans or just consolidation loans and feel yourself fine
I like minitures. They are cute, have adorable little faces and I can’t get over the fact that I can fit a hoof on the palm of my hand. But some things are just seriously pushing it. Miniture breeding people need to focus on quality, and instead of having a bazillion little roach backed ewe necked unhandled studs, they should try for a few gorgeous, well bred, well handled, quality equines. Cause all these people are doing is giving miniatures a bad name.