Hookd ohn Fonics Werked Fur Mie!
Aug 01 2007
It’s a little hard to judge this stallion based upon the picture below. Suffice it to say that I sure hope he is doing some weird Parelli-esque maneuver and has his two hind feet on a tree stump. That’s quite a “nest” he’s got going there and a stunningly weak loin attachment. But the best part is reading his owner’s enthusiastic write-up, copied below. My comments are in blue. *sigh* 
this picture does not do him justis (I don’t know, it just is!) he is bigger than that (than the picture? Well damn I sure hope so. Otherwise call the Guiness Book!) and has a big heart girth too he is a great stallion and has great babyes (say what?) now taking booking for 2008 now thanks .his stud fee for 2008 will be $300. 00 dollar (*sings* I’m down to my last dollar…) and the booking fee will be $50.00 dollar .he is 18% three bars (and you got the other parts from where? FrankenHorse!), 9% depth charge and the pic does not do him justes (wow, two different misspellings of the same simple word in one run-on paragraph – now that is talent.) he has got so mouch biger seen than (WHAT?) then we have had a great responce this year thanks the pic was toke (Yes, that’s a word you are familiar with, I am sure!) win he was a 2 year old stallion (thanks, but not buying it). we was running him he has got biger & wider sent thin (WTF?) I will try to get a beeter pic of him (oh shit, horse, run for your life, she’s got the horse beeter out!) . this great stallion is easy to handle has run barrels I can breed with him and teez with him and is stall eazy to handel. his foals speek for there self thay all handel will (it’s great that they’re fans of classical music, who would have thought it, living behind your trailer?) and are easy to handel he pass his good mind and easy to lurn (shame you can’t lurn as well as he can) on to foal. has a palomino jean (oh, awesome. Where can I buy me a pair of those? Can I get some grulla jeans too? That would rock.) that pop up some.his palomino foal was sleeping win I toke this pic (it was also invisible, shazam!). we will be shipping semen in 2008 (um does that mean you drive to the post office and are on the highways unsupervised? LOOK OUT TENNESSEE!) we are taking booking now. we have a live foal guantee to. we have $5.00 per dry mares and $10.00 per wet mares and we have stalls or paster (in case they feel the need for spiritual guidance) for mares and foals.if you push the pic of his dad he lookes just like him but just a lighter color. (deleted pedigree stuff) thanks for looking at the add and thanks for all the emails on this stallion (I can only imagine the e-mails on this stallion) thanks for all the great mares that was breed (my head hurts) this year thanks you all so much for beliving in us and these stallions THANKS (if you believe in her stallions, I’d like to offer you an amazing business deal as I have just won the lottery in Afghameshikstan and need a contact in the U.S. to handle the funds, for a generous fee, of course!)
And what was I just talking about yesterday…look, it’s a baby behind three strands of barbed wire.
Barbed wire is not horse fencing. It’s NOT. I will not gross out everybody by linking these pictures here. I’ll just give you the links if you want to click on them, below. BUY DECENT FENCE FOR YOUR HORSES, DAMMIT. If you already have the T-posts in, it costs very little to run hot wire. But you might have to drag your butt outside and do it. I know, I just expect so much of you poor, put-upon backyard breeders…
Horses + Barbed Wire = BAD
http://www.horseproblems.com.au/Photo’s/Veterinary%20Photos/digger19July.jpg
http://www.horseproblems.com.au/Photo’s/Veterinary%20Photos/Barbed%20wire%20injury.JPG
http://www.ncerl.com/images/barbedwire.jpg
http://www.emuszine.com/Health%20Articles/horse_accident.htm
These folks get two thumbs up from me because they have the guts to discuss the dangers of keeping horses in barbed wire on their web site (bet that pisses off the neighbors), as well as having a really great philosphy in general about how horses should live to stay healthy. http://mckuster-ranch.com/home.html
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I am a newbie to this sight, and absolutely love it!
It is really too bad that the woman who owns these horses is so uneducated that she can barely even spell her own name. Poor horses! Did you see the rickety stalls that these horses are kept in? ICK!
I am glad that i am not the only one who tilted their laptop to adjust the picture!
That’s what I wondered. How do they worm her, trim or give vacs if she’s not halter broke? I think they saw “UTD” on other ads and figured that sounded good. LOL.
It is shocking how many unhandled adult horses are out there. A friend of mine got an unhandled 4 year old last year. She is the rarity – someone who was experienced enough to deal with him. He is actually green broke now! I shudder to think if someone would have gotten him who did not have the knowledge to deal with his panic attacks about having his feet touched, standing on his hind legs rather than load, constant snorty reactions to anything he had not seen before, flipping himself over backward while ground driving…he is on his way to being a useful member of equine society today ONLY because he fell into the hands of the 5% of the horse owning population that is really prepared to take on this sort of project AND not get hurt in the process. Most horse like him don’t have that kind of luck, and it’s only a matter of time before they wind up at the auction.
Ha!..can someone please explain why the people at jjquarterhorses felt the need to simply reverse the picture of Jet Set Sophie to show her other side rather then simply turning the mare around or *gasp* walking around to the other side?..what the hell is wrong with the other side that you don’t want to show it?..instead they flipped the photo in an attempt to trick us into thinking that it was actually the mares other side..next time they go to do this, they may want to crop hillbilly uncle Fred out of the picture..it gives away their secret..haha..just for future reference to the creators of all those…umm…ah hum..lovely creatures at JJ Quarter Horses..we are smart enough to figure out your photo shop trickery!..being a Quarter Horse breeder & trainer myself, I find it demeaning to the breed that they even put Quarter Horse in their name…shutter..
FHD – So true. It takes time and/or money to do something with a horse. Many people aren’t willing to invest in that.
FHOTD: We had a couple call us a couple of weeks ago for help. They bought (2) horses at a goat auction because they felt sorry for them. Well one is a yearling one is 7 yrs old. Neither are halter broke. The person that sold them the horses did not unload them because there was no where to put them. (good excuse!) So he delivered the horses and turned them out on 5 acres. Well they couldn’t even get close to them so they called us for help. They only spent $400.00 on the 2 and they thought they got a good deal. They could have spent $3,000.00 for a nice horse and come out cheaper!!!
Well anyway my brother has been working them every day but the chances of the 7 yr old ever being broke is kinda slim. He has already bit my brother luckily it was him and not the owners. At least he was getting out of the way when it happened. Oh and by the way when we asked them if they had a halter for them their response.
What is a halter??????
Poor horses. Pretty much doomed.
I just had a call yesterday from someone who would like me to help her deal with the illegal Mexican next door who is breeding – are ya ready – TWH/Arab/QH crosses. Nothing is broke, he doesn’t own a trailer, he is going to lose his pasture and does not know what to do since he does not have any money to board them.
*headdesk*
sleepinglion:
You may have dyslexia, but do you also have spell-check? I can’t help but notice you *did* do quite well on your maiden flight into the no-life-zone of blog commenting. Your argument might have held more water had you actually displayed lysdexic tendencies in your writing, rather than your kind, intelligent, sane, and well-written (besides the arguments I admit I’m picking just for fun, no harm intended, but I like thinking and asking people to think) response.
You may be a “backyard breeder”… but do you support the stereotype with your actions?
Not accusing you of NOT doing the following, but instead of defending and rationalizing your actions with blog posts, they could do so with actions instead.
Here’s something that sets me apart as a dirty snob, too. Your use of the word “fancy”. “I have no fancy facility”…
When we’re on the floor and someone says “My, GAWD… what is that couple DOING… it’s so SMOOTH!” A person withOUT jealousy will say “That’s standard foxtrot and open footowork” or “that’s silver foxtrot, because their feet aren’t closing.” Bear in mind that this is not on a regional level. It is quite big-fish, little-pond local.
… The ones who quit dancing because “them two jest took off and left us in the dirt…” say “Eh, it’s that fancy crap they’re larnin’ in lessons… cain’t nobody do that…”
I take the term “fancy” to be dismissive and trivializing of someone else’s hard work. “All that faincy stuff” is *so*.. I’m gonna say it.. “hillbilly”. If you consider yourself a respectable breeder, why not stop calling yourself a “backyard breeder” and instead say “I’m a small-scale personal breeder”? Why did african americans stop the use of “nigger” and take such offense to it? Because it most deservedly has very negative connotations, and they don’t deserve to be insulted like that. The term “Nigger” doesn’t HAVE to denote venomous bigotry and ignorant racism- but NOBODY can EVER get past it’s horrible shock value now, understandably so. Originally, it was a vernacular form of “Negro” or “Niger”- which in themselves AREN’T bad terms… but the connotation placed upon them by cretinous, greedy, and horrible actions during the 1800′s forever marked that as a taboo word in our dictionary. I use that one because it is the most obvious example of misnomenclature. Another example is “You and your little (insert horse, purse, job, car, etc.)… the “little” IS in fact intended to “belittle” the object or endeavor in question.
I think a lot of people just don’t know how to give themselves the credit they deserve. Self-deprecation has become the norm and the expected because, as Vonnegut hinted heavily at in Bergeron… it’s not cool to be better than everyone else, whether you really are, or just think you are. In fact, to tangentialize further… ever heard “Thank yer bedder n’ me?”.. or “she just think she’s so better than everyone else”… and usually- she is. She’s the one with the KC Leaguer colt and the Hobby Horse jacket kicking your kid’s ass in showmanship because you dragged Brownie up out of the cow pasture three days before, put a colored rope halter on him, and butchered his bridle-path with scissors. NOt “you” personally, mind. The “general you”. And not the one from an asian army (yu, you… I give up)..
So- unless you actually suck.. don’t act like you do. And quit whining about being poor, “Like Kenny”. We all are, and it’s all our faults. We could have money if we didn’t blow it all on horses. It’s another choice we don’t like to own up to. It doesn’t make us bad people- it’s just that we need to quit blaming money for spending it on stuff that makes us happy. Although- if you’re “poor”..and you KEEP BREEDING, again, it goes back to making choices with sense. If I’m broke and can’t pay my cellphone bill, I don’t buy another pair of shoes or the $750 blazing scarlet ASB 2-yr-old-mare in California I found on HorseDirect the other day while looking for fugly fodder. The want is there- OH BOY is it (I already have her new name picked out, and I found this GORGEOUS pink-swarovski headstall, and I could teach her backyard dressage, and we could go chase deer, and..)… but I know that “I ain’t ready to be havin’ no mo’ babies”, so I close the browser window and think of other things. Like baked potatoes, or Michael Buble.
SO, your BYB argument is moot and “WAH”. That, and arguments similar TO it are weak defenses. Instead of embracing a bad name, excel above it in deed so that you earn another good name- or screw labels and make your own.
You’re a respectable contributress to equinia, and there’s no need to defend yourself to the likes of me or anyone else. Suck it up and go with “your horses are awesome”. And quickly… before I get all sidetrackylongwindy (Polish for STFU?) again. My whole rant was actually my own bitchy way of “well, Like your philosophy, and if you apply it, you ARE an asset, so quit defending yourself”.
On Barbwire (aka bobwar):
I thought it was originally designed just to be an “ouch” for cattle. If they hit it and said “dur, this hurts”, it would make them think twice about rushing it? Again- that was in my 5th grade history book, and far be it from me to actually apply book-larnin’s
On Gypsies:
I can’t say anything other than I need a jar of gypsy tears to keep away the aids.
On “Proper Facilities”:
If your horses are sound, healthy and happy (and you’re in the poorhouse), then that’s a proper facility. If your horses are continually receiving vet visits for colic, stitches, freak and sudden deaths, and they are constantly lame our out of commission… that’s a bad facility. What’s so hard to see in this?
Graciela and Pasos:
I forgot my disclaimers of “most, many, somethatgoverntherest”. I was hoping that by now anybody reading me would realize I didn’t mean “all”, but alas… a few fall through the cracks.
I happen to know that some pasos be gorgeous- I owned two, and, every bit of their morbidly obese, barn-sour, J-tailed (oops, canoworms), gaiting, TROTTING, cribbing, sickle-hocked green-and-yellow-and-brown selves. I still want that big red fireball mare though. How much is priority mail on 1000lbs from california… no, I need that money for a workshop coming up. Argh. See- poor. So poor. But if I didn’t do all that I do with my money, I’d have tons of it… but nothing to do. Bored and with money is bad.
On Big Name Paso Breeders- I have issue with anyone who calls their horses a “collection”. The Besilu Collection, for example. They eat and shit- they aren’t statues. And when your dumb brown ass is gaiting a BABY hellbent down a strip of BLACKTOP for an HOUR at the Nationals show so some moron with a Heineken in one hand and a digital camera in the other can get Youtube fodder, THAT pisses me OFF.
Last on the phrase BYB:
Ok, BYB is the same as MORON. I think it’s been specifically set aside as something derogatory- unless people take the initiative to change it. You don’t say “That’s Betsy Steiner, she’s a backyard trainer (lightning strike me now- I worship her, and yes, the second Equitana, I got her autograph when I was thirteen at Lamplight’s second show of the season, does anybody have pics of Uwe’s former Petrocelli, the BIG red boy?)”.. First of all, I’d hunt you down and kick your ass. Second of all, she ISN”T and she can PROVE it.
Remember Flying M Paso Finos and that gargantuan farce of a herd dispersal sale a couple years ago? They were massive-scale Back Yard Breeders, in that yes, they had some steller horses… but they just KEPT ON BREEDING without regard so that then they had what… two hundred? More?.. horses to let go. Whatever happened to all that I don’t know- or care.
On people who think I’m a bitch for nitpicking spelling/grammEr (snicker):
If you don’t take the time to try to properly communicate yourself to me, I’m not going to take you seriously. If you don’t take the time to bother with showing your own facility and horses seriously by presenting them as well-turned-out as you can (it doesn’t stop with brushing and vetting them. Their photographs and bios online are important, too), I’m not going to bother, and I don’t care if I pass that diamond in the rough up. With billions and billions (Sagan!) of horses on the planet… yours isn’t the ONLY ONE of ANYTHING.
No, I don’t take the spelling as seriously as it appears I do. We all make typos, because most of us can think much more rapidly than our fingers can type. Most of us are also too lazy to go back and revise. BUT- if I have an error in my posts that could be irreversible, read wrongly, etc… I will delete it (several of the “deleted by author” ones are mine) and either revise it, or just remove it if it really didn’t contribute anything I wanted to say. But then, if you can’t guess by now, I am a writer, ROFL. Maybe not a great one, but it’s something I do.
Bad spelling is like walking around with an ass-comet (your new word of the day, meaning toilet paper flapping cheerily from the back of your pants after a trip to the bathroom)… it doesn’t HURT anything, but it’s just DUMB, so why do it? If spelling weren’t such a problem, then why do most presidential first ladies even bother with literacy campaigns- that educate ADULTS, for FREE. That’s the same thing as handing out free contraception… that’s a HINT people!
It’s also like that innocuous “cute” colty behavior- it says the colt (or the writer) doesn’t take YOU seriously enough to worry about what you think of them. If you like looking that way in print, go ahead, just be prepared for someone out there with a keyboard and an unsolicited opinion, who’s mostly bark. Or barq- I believe it’s beverage time.
“Bad spelling is like walking around with an ass-comet (your new word of the day, meaning toilet paper flapping cheerily from the back of your pants after a trip to the bathroom)… “
Still laughing….. haha
WTF – You’re funnier ‘n shit. LMAO. I like you.
WTF,
You make my day! When I click on this site (My favorite, by the way)I search for your comments first. I wish I had your gift.
WTF – hilarious, but half of that flew in one ear and out the other of some of my critics, who I suspect are not big fans of that hyar edumacation stuff. They are probably googling right now to see what kind of Natural Horsemanship Vonnegut does and if they can buy his videos.
McKuster Ranch, LLC here saying thank you for the compliment on how we have setup our ranch/ horse pastures. I have no understanding of anyone that would have barbed wire on the same property with a horse, or why. The value of a good horse in being safe and sound on the hoof, not a meat hook. We have had a few scraps with the 12ga smooth wire, so I have gone back through our pastures / cross-fencing and run a strand of electric poly-rope 6″ off the ground to create another visual barrier. Yes, we believe in letting horses live freely in open pasture space. I have heard some folks find it hard to catch a horse living freely, well I feel they are not spending enough time with their horse if that is the case. A horse that does not know its owner well enough to come running when called, is not getting enough connection time to know its owner. I think and have found that properly handled anyone should be able to walk up to their horse, pet, groom, halter that horse in open pasture. We treat our horses like 1000 lb.pets and love it when they high-tail-it and run as a herd in open spaces.
Thanks again for your compliment of McKuster Ranch, LLC way of doing our horsey things.
Wow, I work at a Champion Morgan barn… and they had one horse in for training that was a Saddlebred QH…. Never thought anyone else could possibly be as stupid as this owner to cross the two!
Personally, thats like breeding a short nosed dog (pug type) to a Great Dane…. You dont normally want to cross something meant more for saddleseat and park, with something meant for working cows and such. Maybe we aren’t giving these people enough credit…. perhaps they smoked a little too much crack on a breeding day?
WHO in their right mind would own a AQHA stallion and allow a Saddlebred mare to be bred to him? I own a paint stud, and if I had a saddlebred mare owner ask to breed, I would send her down the lane to a saddlebred breeder. the 2 breeds have very different conformation and breed standards, how could you ever think anything good would come of it?
And why on earth are you trying to sell a stud fee when you cant even properly describe your should be nutless animal in english? As I always say, Stupid people should not reproduce… now I am firm with, Stupid people should not be allowed to advertise and breed their crap animals. I feel sorry for the stud and all, but honestly…. That lady needs to start with taking herself into a clinic and getting her tubes tied, then go back to school, and while she is at that, get ALL of her studs gelded and her mares spayed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mckuster – I spent a while looking around on your website yesterday. Very nice place you have there.
FHOD… PLEASE don’t get me started on that tree-huggin’ hippie bullshit (Cartman) Natural Horsemanship. Bwahaha *cracks knuckles and begins typing*:
UGH. There’s so much I could say, but the gist of it is:
If you’re that fuggin’ scared to just get on and ride, sell the gawt-damned horse and buy a bicycle, then join a support group for the validation you’re so ardently seeking in the companionship of your animals, who only care about food.
Natural Horsemanship is JUST like the pyramid scam craze of Amway, Herbalife, Melaleuca, etc… fruity hogwash snake oil bullshit peddled upon sapheads who won’t research their own questions, and instead rely on others to do it for them.
GOOD HORSE TRAINING is neither natural horsemanship or… whatever else. It’s just common sense. There’s no label for it. Pat Parelli is a an arrogant douche, and any of his more culty worshippers are a bunch of moustache-riding wysteria yuppies with boring husbands who find their bored wives so revolting that they’d rather go golf or scuba dive or rock climb or bash their testicles with heavy rocks than try to cuddle up next to them and have conversation or climb on a horse and go riding with them.
You know why the clinicians are making a killing? Look at Ponyboy.. he’s HOT. I want to lick North Carolina red sand out of the crack of his ASS just to watch him put on all his lululululululu regalia and ride around a pfizer-sponsored covered arena… and then bathe him and give him a haircut and put him in a pair of Ralph Lauren chinos and a Burberry shirt and take him to a nice restaurant.
ALL of them spew the same “you should know this by now” in varied forms using different terminology. Get a real idol, like Podjasky.
I love this blog- it puts me in the most FABULOUS mood to have creativity, energy and zip and GO… I feel like jogging when I get all revved up off the crazy of others, ROFL.
Greatpaints- thank you.. but don’t EVER ever wish for my curse. I love to write just like a bored horse loves to wreck his stall. Writing- or at least my brand of it- is more of a destructive vice that damages me, but entertains others, yet it’s something I can’t stop because it’s compulsory. Like cribbing. When a horse is bored, they find ways to occupy their mind. Some of your most nasty stall-kept horses would be Van Goghs or Mozarts or Rowlings if they just had fingers. I’m none of those- I’m just a fruit-loop with a keyboard:-D
And there’s your “let’s self-psychoanalyze” segment of WTF’s Crazy Goodtime Show.
Hello McKuster Ranch and welcome!
Your place looks lovely, and horses who have good experiences with people and riding, and who live on pasture as nature intended, are rarely hard to catch. When I try to fix fence or do other work in the pasture, I can’t get RID of horses – they are all over me trying to “help.” I am sure it is the same at your place!
Thank you for having the guts to educate the public about safe fence, proper horsekeeping and how to avoid colic (you are dead on with that).
WTF – I will be doing a feature on NH. I just have to. I have the most hysterical collection of pictures found on the web that you have ever seen.
*Squeee!* Can we poke fun at them? Look… my horse can jump through hoops and sleep with tigers… but she sure as shit can’t collect and round on the flat for more than three strides, and her canter looks like her ass is five lengths behind the horse behind us!
What I have learned or learnt (snicker) from WTF
1. I no longer read your posts with a mouthful of coffee (I has been hell on my computer room carpet)
2. I have instituted a MUST wear DEPENDS rule for when I read your posts
Keep it up, both you and Fugly
WTF, your posts may just outdo the funny of fuglyhorse itself. You make my horrible awful boring office job just about bearable.
Oh! In the NH post, can we have something about how they can throw a ball at their horse’s FACE without it flinching? Can we? Can we!?
That always freaked me out.
LOL- I’ve modified a joke I heard ages and ages ago:
Two cannibals went to NW_Horse_Person’s farm. One waited outside and kept watch, while the other went inside. After awhile, Cannibal Number One emerged, wiping his mouth.
“So? What’d NW_Horse_Person taste like?” asked Number Two.
One shrugged and said “Depends.”
What would we do without this blog?
The ones that always make me giggle is when they have the horse balancing with all 4 feet on a stump like a circus elephant.
and we do this WHY?
FHD – There really isn’t a real point in teaching a horse to do silly things like that. But, as a person who has created trusting, bombproof, all around horses in my younger years, I will say that all that silly stuff does have some value. I’m not defending the NH stuff at all, although as an experienced horse person, I can take a few things here and there from them and use them successfully. And it’s not anything we didn’t already know if we have a bit of common sense. But I do believe that if we vary a horse’s routine, and expose them to all kinds of different things, it makes a better horse in the long run. I don’t think I’d pull the chair trick, but I’d like to think I could if I wanted to.
WTF – you must be aware that Go-on-a-pony boy is an Italian boy toy from the Bronx. Not one spec of Native American in him…. what a fraud.
You hit the nail on the head with his schtik (or maybe you should hit your head on his schtik) – the only reason he’s popular is because all the horny old ladies drool at him sitting half-naked on a horse.
One of his first books (before he “borrowed” all the other NH techniques) is just a coffee table photo album. Gag me with a tomahawk!
Yes, and like the others, between your posts and FHD, i have to replace my Assure pantiliner at least twice as often!
Italian? Well, I have it on high authority that “Gawani” means “Duck” as in… quack…
Foxy yes, talented, no.
I agree that training your horse through fun stuff IS useful… but it’s like riding a moped- fun until someone sees you do it:-D
Parelli and stuff can have some good ideas – like the “carrot stick” thing. But then again, I know horsemen who have been using something similar all their lives to train horses. My trainer has one and all his horse respect that pvc stick thing.
The thing is, they make you pay out the ass and you don’t get their personal attention. It’s like saying that you can learn dressage over the internet. You can’t.
I worry about the people who think they can buy any crazy, fugly horse and “fix” him all by themselves with Parrelli.
Parellians remind me of those World of Warcraft guilds. “Well, I’m a level three night elf demon hedgewizard smith mage”
Ye-es… and do you have a girlfriend? Oh, that’s ri-ight.. your flaccid elven dagger of dangle has plus a million against booty….
WTF – watch it with the Warcraft stuff! Dem’s fightin’ words. My kid is yes, addicted to it, yes he has no girlfriend, and no I am not aware of his ummm-status “down there” – he’s only 14.
But hell, I know what I was doing at 14 and it wasn’t proper – or legal.
So, if it keeps him off the street and keeps his willywag out of some little bimbos “forbidden field of dreams” so be it!
Now, for the comparison of the Levels,, truer words were never spoked- Maybe I could get my kid to design a Perils of Parelli online game world thing. It would sell like HOTCAKES!
WTF, A little off topic, but…are you a ballroom dancer? Me too. I figured wrecking my knees and hips riding wasn’t enough, thought I should work on torturing my feet, too.
I wish I had a dime for everytime some instructor said “Oh, your horse back riding experiences will certainly help you learn to dance”, to which I say “WHAAAT????” (a la Borat)
I will say, however, dancing has helped my riding.
Fugly, I love it your blog. 5 years ago I got a big old Amish-used-until-almost-dead-then-sold-for-meat Percheron (kind of a Percheron, I should say). She’s an interesting mix of everything that’s wrong with pretty much any breed out there)
And, surprise, she was pregnant when I bought her. She was, by my vet’s estimation, at least 25 years old, poor old worn out thing.
Here’s my point, finally. The Amish breed horses for utility and purpose, however poorly they may do it. Are they BYB?
HOLY SHIT!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I CAN’T LEARN DRESSAGE FROM THE INTERNET??? DOES THAT MEAN, I HAVE BEEN WASTING MY TIME WITH RFDTV TOO?? DAMN DAMN DAMN
snicker
Oh, shit, do not get me started on the Amish, it will turn into some kind of religious war and someone will accuse me of racism…er, what would that be, faithism?
Suffice it to say that based upon what I have seen at auctions, SOME Amish are making QUITE a case for an argument that NO Amish should be allowed to own ANY horses.
OK, we are on the dangerous “faithism” path, but I live in a community surrounded by Amish; hard for me to abstain.
What I see often sickens me. And have you heard the horror stories of how they geld?
By the same standards, though, there are many non-Amish, from every discipline, who are just as brutal and BYB with the best (or worst) of them.
LMFH… at his age, it’s not a problem yet. But when he turns thirty, he has long, nappy hair in a dingy gray Goody rubber band making a puffy, greasy ponytail down the back of his unwashed back from his receding hairline, his black Hot Topic T-shirt is ringed with caked salt, and Hot Pockets sends him a year’s supply just for being such a faithful customer… THEN you got problems.
On Dancing: Yes! Two years, am/am, non-competing. We just got back from watching the VolState though, because I have an insatiable fetish for trying to accidentally bump into Ben Ermis. *Swoon*
I was extensively into equitation and showmanship throughout my show/training/coaching career, but the thing that flummoxes me the most is foot placement in Standard, and my shoulders, neck, and arms. In horsemanship and showmanship, we always were “up and back”, with the exception of the “straighten and lengthen your back by sitting on your wrangler pockets”. The pocket sitting helped me with torso and hip contact, but H/J work over fences has really screwed up my “move freely from the hip, rise from the floor through the leg, and heel-lead, then heel-ball”…
Worse yet- now, I’m the HORSE, NOT the handler! I have to wait for cues, follow body movement, and not just pitch a spaz and drag my partner all over the floor like I used to hate when my horses did- although to be fair, they rarely did that, and when they did, they were “just playin’” (the little turds..)
So dancing has helped me understand the body communication process, some of the posture and foot-tracking, but in a way, it’s also hindered me because of small, niggling things that riding coaches bark about for doing, and the ballroom coaches bark about for NOT doing. Our two coaches are really, really good though- she understands my background in horses, and I’ve, bless her heart, caught her trying to use horse terminology to explain things to me. Our Smooth/Rhythm coach is the re-incarnation of my old ASB/Morgan 5-gator. Long, tall, dark, handsome, patient as Job, let’s people clunk and bang and fall and drag all over him, and he can still make anyone look like a million bucks- but watch out if you try to put spurs on him or start shit.
Do you find the large joint of your big toe on your left foot HURTING after a long night on the floor? If I could fix that without getting yet ANOTHER pair of shoes, I would. As it is, Equi-Block and Bio-Freeze are working all right.
On Amish:
Those illiterate, inbred, poorly-spoken degenerate misguided bastard freaks. Some of them DO have very thick ethnic accents, but some of them are just so poorly-spoken because it’s all they grew up hearing. They sound as though they actually have a literal, legitimate speech impediment, and it’s actually only their undereducation.
Maybe THEY need World of Warcraft so they can stop fuckin’ each other as soon as they turn thirteen and spewing out more of the little cracker roaches.
WTF – I shall have to remember to NEVER take a sip of any sort of beverage before reading one of your posts. Extranasal expiration of Pepsi is most uncomfortable!
Did anyone see this ad?
http://www.equinenow.com/horse-ad-44095
This friggin horse has “Long Long Leges and can fly” according to the profoundly retarded inbred hillbilly backyard fuck that owns her. Not only r thay iliterit thay is tu stuppid tu no that hosses downt fli!
See, these people are the perfect supporting example of why MANDATORY STERILIZATION should be law in the U.S. Got an IQ of less than 90? Tubes tied, deballed, whatever it takes to cull you from the breeders in society. If only I were president! (*plays harp music and daydreams of role as benevolent dictator*)
horsewings – That’s the same owner of the hookd ohn fonics horse. Pathetic.
OK, not to highjack the thread, but this does pertain to riding…
WTF, yes, I totally agree on “now I’m the horse” theme. Man, it irritates me when my partner suddenly is just not there, and he’s saying “work with me, babe”, after I’ve had no cue that he’s suddenly going to execute a spin turn. I’m sure if he could, he’d put the spurs to me to make me “listen”. Every rider should have to experience it, helps one see things from a horse’s point of view.
Yes, my left foot big toe joint does hurt sometimes. Isn’t that interesting that it’s the same foot for both of us? Here’s what my doc says…do lots of stretching out of your toes, to keep the joint from rotating inwards (open your toes like a fan, and also bend them up and down). I also invested in some metatarsal pads; they stick inside your shoe and provide support to the ball of your foot, thereby decreasing the percussive force to the joint.
Back to the fugly: I’ve already learned from this blog that my horse does have a nice shoulder angle. That’s about all I can say nice about her appearance other than she’s black and really shiny.
I just found this site, love it. My husband fenced some of our pasture with barbed wire. It would all be that way but I bitched major and he has replaced much of it with smooth wire. But just Sunday night, we went out to feed the horses and my 7 yr old Mare had hair missing, scratches and blood all over one of her legs. I have only owned her for a few months and she has had several scratches on her nose and body. DH just doesn’t get it. He says now how does she get her legs damaged like that? Who cares how, it’s the wire!! I paid a pretty good amount for her as she is a really beautiful Bay Paint overo but she will not be for much longer with the barbed wire!! Sigh…….
Oh God!! I just read the article above the barbed wire one. Is this for real? As sad as it is, I did LMAO at your come backs and comments. This is really sad!! I have never seen anything like this. I bet they are just racking in the bucks with their stud!! *shaking head* Sad.
l HATE barbed wire but have to also admit l’ve seen cases where people have used the wrong tensil straight wire and it has drastic results in an accident,l owned one mare who as a 2 year old cut her throat(semi through windpipe) and have heard of others who have died from being straight sliced(shock) barbed wire is directly related in MORE horsey accidents but the wrong tensil(wire strength) kills, sometimes it is viewed as better a scar than dead…personally l have medium tensil wire fencing with a light gauge hotwire on the inside of all fence, lve seen some people attach a piece of hot tape to their horses rug to make sure they get a zap and learn respect for the fence(l havent ever done it but think l should try it on one escapee shetland lol)
luvmyfuglyhorse said…
WTF – you must be aware that Go-on-a-pony boy is an Italian boy toy from the Bronx. Not one spec of Native American in him…. what a fraud
Hey I have it on good authority that he is a Jewish kid from the Bronx.